Sunday, July 24, 2016

Um. Hi There.

I have not blogged since March.  It's July!  I have thought about this blog on almost a daily basis, and then thought, "But I have nothing to share."  I have been so sad, so despondent, so self absorbed that I couldn't bear to log on and speak about my life.

In the time I've been away, Tiger turned 19.  He graduated from high school, got a job as a cashier at a convenience store, and is considering joining Florida Wildlife Commission, which is like a police officer but dealing with wildlife issues.  I think he'd be very good at it.  He's been with his girlfriend for almost three years and they're planning a future together.  I give it five years and I'll be a grandmother.

Bucket turned 18 in early July.  Yes, all of my children are now adults.  We are in the process of applying for social security disability for him.  He didn't graduate with his class and so he's going back for at least a half year.  He has 3.5 credits before he can graduate.

Missy will be 21 in a week.  She's working part time and dropped out of college for now.  I'm praying she goes back.

I'll be at my job for a year this upcoming Wednesday.  It is not my happy place.  I have routinely starting calling my office "the lion's den" and I dread pulling into the parking lot.  I've had to increase my blood pressure medication and I eat my lunch in my car to avoid talking to anyone so no more complaints will be lodged against me.  It's so hard being in a place for 9 hours a day when you're so unhappy.

That being said, I did take some pictures over the course of a few months.

This entire shirt says "Do All Things With Love" and it's a size 14/16 from Lane Bryant and I bought it at least a year ago, maybe even two.  The blush color is so close to my skin color that I feel naked wearing it and don't particularly like it.  But I like the message.

My husband and I hadn't seen each other so he asked me to send a picture.  I know he likes hair so I tried to fan it out around me.  Frankly, I just looked tired and ready for a nap and there's my big ol tattoo that I got when I was 18.  But my brows look excellent here.

4th of July at Wes Crile Park in Deltona FL to see the fireworks with my birthday boy on July 4th.

I just took this last week.  I don't know if you can tell how gray I am going.  I am so stressed out that I have noticed that my hair grays much faster than it used to.  It must be bad when my husband even begged me to go get my hair done.  "I know it's bothering you" he said, and while he is correct, my depression is so firmly entrenched that I have not given a rats patootie about my hair lately.  

Somehow, I managed to come out of my funk a bit, and I applied to a company which called me two hours after I emailed them.  I have an interview Friday, and I took the entire day off just so I can relax, maybe get a pedicure and my goodness do I need a three day weekend.  I don't know if this is the right step, but I do know that I'm not getting anywhere, where I'm at right now.  So it's worth a shot, right?

1 comment:

Lisa in Texas = ) said...

Just now seeing this - Things have been so very busy around here. I just wanted to drop a note and say to hold onto hope. It sounds like things are not going well for now but remember circumstances are temporary - so hold onto hope. I will be praying that things change. Sometimes God allows us to be in bad situations in order to grow our Christian characters. Remember how much God loves you- you are very special to Him.
Hope you will check in now and then and let us know how you are doing, Lisa :O)