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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Dying Inside

People just pray for me.  This job is eating away at my soul.  I won't go into specifics, but every morning when I clock in, my heart starts to pound and I feel sick inside.  If I hadn't signed a contact, I doubt I would be here.  And I have about 2 years left.  I know, I'm blessed to work from home, it's a decent pay with good benefits, but I dread it, every single day.  Either my job needs to change, I need to change, or Jesus needs to come.  But something has to give.

8 comments:

D'Rae said...

I'll be praying for you. I hope that something changes for you.

Sarah R said...

Thanks D'Rae. I know that you know the feeling. I walked away for a bit after that post; got another coffee and just sat outside on the patio and listened to the birds sing. That helped.

Missy said...

Sadly, I can relate. I agree with trying to just get some fresh air sometimes. I clock my time day by day, hour by hour.

Jennifer M. said...

Oh, I definitely know how you are feeling. I'll be praying for you!! Your emotional health is more important than a job, just remember that.

It sounds like you want to try to make it work, so maybe you could find a way to adjust your situation to make it happier for you. I wonder if you could move into a different department or take on different responsibilities that would make it easier to go in every morning?

Sarah R said...

Jen, I've been applying for lots of jobs and can't even get an interview. Mr. R is convinced I'm being sabotaged from within my department (getting a poor review when my reviews have been fine, that kind of thing) so that no one new would have to be trained to do my job. I've been here almost 11 years; it makes no sense at all that I can't even get an interview!

Anonymous said...

This blog post gets a 2 thumbs way up from me.

The Working Home Keeper said...

Praying for you Sarah.

When you have a chance, send me an email with your contact info. You won the giveaway on my blog :)

workinghomekeeper at yahoo dot com

http://workinghomekeeper.blogspot.com/2012/01/and-winner-is.html

Mary Ellen
The Working Home Keeper

Sarah R said...

That's awesome, Mary Ellen! I've never won a contest before!