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Sunday, April 24, 2011

The Train To Grouchville Stops At My Place

You wouldn't think that the kids received peanut butter chocolate bunnies, Peeps, and bubble gum this morning from the "Easter Mommy."  Oh NOOOO.  I'm telling you, living with three teenagers requires prayer and maybe some antidepressants.  Because, seriously, you'd think I just insisted they donate their livers to charity after the sour pictures I took this morning.  When does this grouch stage end?  It really, really SUCKS.

Complains constantly that her skin is awful, then refuses to use products I buy to help her.  Complains that her hair is awful, refuses to brush it.  Do you see a pattern?

Someone stole my gum.  Now I hate the world.

I stole my brother's gum.  Now I hate him for being mad at me.

I made sure they took pictures of me before a fistfight ensued over the missing gum.  I'm brilliant like that.

This dress.  I love the shape.  The pattern scares the snot out of me.  It is a very vivid red and white swirly.  Unforgettable.  I figured red and white would be good for Easter; red for His Blood, and white because his blood washed my sins away.  I wish it would wash my pooch away too, but I gotta work on that on my own.
I continue to take side views even though I find them horrifying.  I still haven't bought any foundation garments.  Not sure I want to bother.  It's not I'm faking anyone out. It's still pretty obvious I'm a big girl, except now I'll be a big girl who is sweaty from wearing extra layers in the swamp.

What is up with the front?  I assure you, I am packing nothing phallic like in my dress.  Wish I had photoshop just for this alone.

Still loving the hightlights, but the bangs are growing out and kind of driving me crazy.  Stay strong, Sarah!  They will grow out and blend into the rest of your hair in no time!
Happy Easter, all!  He is Risen!

7 comments:

Taylor said...

Haha your captions are killing me. Just this morning I said to my husband, "Don't you wish it was five years from now? I mean it has to be easier at ages 8 and 11, right?" My two fight ALLTHETIME constantly about EVERYTHING.

In other news, I LOVE that dress on you! It looks great; it *is* a great shape for you.

Sarah R said...

Thanks Taylor. Actually, those later elementary school years were probably the best ones. Everyone potty trained, everyone verbal, still at that friendly "I like to help my mommy" stage. Enter middle school and it seems to all hit the fan. My mom insists that it will not get any better until they get jobs and realize how good they have it at home.

Kelly said...

You look great! I need a close up of those shoes, though :)

Your hair grows so fast!

I have no idea when the grumpy stage is over...my 20 year old is difficult to live with UGH.

Your middle one looks like my youngest before he cut his hair.

Oh, I think you look fab in print!

Jennifer M. said...

It couldn't hurt to use foundation garments. Even a full-length slip can smooth things out. I've heard good things about Spanx and the like, although I've never tried them. It's not so much about fooling people - it's more about presenting yourself more professionally. I wonder though... the more layers you add, the warmer you'll be! May not be ideal for Florida weather.

Sarah R said...

Thanks Kelly...I didn't take a pic of the shoes because I messed up my nail polish and couldn't find any remover.
What I need to do, Jen, is take a few dresses to the plus size store and try on some foundation garments with the clothes I already own. I do worry about sweating to death down here in the swamp.

D'Rae said...

That dress looks fabulous on you! Very pretty!

Sarah R said...

Thank you, D'Rae! I could see you wearing this, actually! And Kelly...I know, my hair is CRAZY. There is a reason why I don't have close ups on this day. My eyebrows are so overgrown that I look like Bert from Sesame Street. I literally have to pluck every day, and wax possibly once or twice a week to keep up. Yet, I have very little armpit hair. Weird, huh? Definitely TMI, that's for certain.