In Which I Get My Act Together

Thanks for the venting time, peeps. I know many read, and don't comment, and that's fine. But I felt better typing it out, and so I thank you for continuing to read.

Now that I'm done complaining, I decided to "do." There are a lot of things I can't control about my life. I can't control my husband's job, or the way my kids behave, or the volume at work. What I *can* control is how I react, and my own schedule. So I decided to make some changes, and if it effects other people, then so be it.

I had to drive into Orlando to pick up some fax cartridges the other day, and sat down in my boss's office. I told her how frustrated I'd been lately, and that I don't feel very well, physically. I asked her if it would be okay if I changed my work schedule in order to fit in Bible study time and exercise. I am so glad she was amenable to change. My boss is very young (24), and very, very nice. She said that as long as I working to catch the add ons at the end of the day, she didn't really care which hours I worked. So I changed my schedule from 7am - 3:45, to 8:30 - 5:15. (I get a 45 minute lunch every day.) By starting at 8:30, I have time to make a proper breakfast, start a load of dishes and laundry, spent 30 minutes in the Word, and about 30-45 minutes of exercise every morning before I even sit down at the computer. I'm not thrilled about working later in the day, but 5:15 is still a reasonable time of day. Not only that, but I'll be able to catch some later accounts that I've been missing.

Unfortunately, I'm having to change Tiger's saxophone lesson to accommodate my new schedule. At first I felt bad, then I thought, why should I feel bad? We moved the lesson, tentatively, from Tuesdays at 5pm to Thursdays at 6pm. Everything else remains the same, except I get to put some time into myself. Into my soul, into my faith, into my own body. I didn't exercise today...nerd that I am, I created a spreadsheet with my body measurements, height and weight. While this isn't about weight loss per se, my weight is tied into my health, and I would like to lose some. I'm not going to be frantically counting calories like I did before.

So my schedule for now is this:

6am: Wake up.
6:15 am: No, seriously. Wake up.
6:30 am: Start waking up boys.
6:30am - 7am: start any house chores, such as loading/unloading dishwasher, laundry. Make coffee!
7am-7:15: Make breakfast, drink coffee. Yell at boys.
7:15-7:45: Eat breakfast, drink even more coffee, have Bible study. Continue yelling at boys.
7:45-8:15: Exercise.
8:15-8:30: Quick shower, make another cup of coffee.
8:30-5:15: Work. Oh, and drink coffee. (yes, I'm consistent like that.)

Considering I'm going from not exercising at all, to 30 mins a day, 5 days a week, I hope to see some results.
But most importantly, I hope to see a change in my spiritual life. I've felt very, very dead lately inside. I love my kids, I love my husband, but lately, I have not loved me. I've had depression issues in the past, I've been in a slump for quite a while.

2 Samuel 22:7 (New International Version)

⁷ In my distress I called to the LORD;
I called out to my God.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came to his ears.

He has heard me. He knows I need Him more than ever. He has made it so that I have the flexibility to turn my life around. With His help, I can and I will. I hope all my bloggy friends will be praying for this change in my life to be successful.

In Which I Sound Like a Spoiled Brat

Guys, can I vent here? Please? Pretty please?

If you are not into whiny adults who kvetch about every day life, it's ok to switch to another page now. Really. It won't hurt my feelings. I think.

I am just so bummed over Mr. R's local job falling through so quickly. Although in the back of my mind, I figured it would. The boss was not a nice person, the hours were awful and we still didn't see each other. Mr. R is already back in his old truck, on his way to Alabama actually. Not great miles, but a start nonetheless. I'm already trying to get the kids back on a regular schedule. When Daddy is home, rules and chores seem to fly out the window. I'm slowly but surely getting them back where they need to be.

I am more concerned about how Mr. R and I interacted while he was home. We fought...nonstop. Over stupid stuff. Like housework, and Christmas trees, and garbage cans. I know when he's not working, he gets bored and likes to nitpick. However, I'm still working and don't have time to really worry about why our garbage cans needs to be rinsed. If they bother you that much, doll, there is the hose. Go for it. I'm on the phone with Blue Cross, mmmkay?

Then there is the matter of college. I am doing GREAT. I love my class, I have an A, and I really feel like I've hit my niche. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. But Mr. R is doing a total 180 and saying that as soon as I graduate from college (in spring 2011 is what I'm hoping for right now) that he intends to quit trucking for good, find a nice part time job, and send me to a normal full time job in Orlando. I am TERRIFIED of thinking that I could be the main breadwinner. It is scary to me! So I guess what I am really scared of, is the future. Aren't most people? I think that's why fortunetellers are so popular.

Anyway, I've been thinking about that common phrase, the "Bride of Christ." Has anyone else ever heard of this? It has always confused me. I was married when I was 19. When I think of my day as a bride, I was dressed up very pretty, had on make up, ate way too many chicken wings, and then "consumated" our special day. (Kind of silly, we were already living together, but yeah.) So maybe I have a warped idea of what a bride is. Every now and then, Mr. R will call me his bride, and I will smirk. It's usually when I'm scooping the cat box or folding laundry; a less than sexy time. But back in the day, a bride didn't already "know" her husband. This was a huge day of transferring responsibility from her father to her husband. She had to have an inordinate amount of trust. One she had to trust her father, and two, she had to trust her new husband. How scary! I've been married to Mr. R for fifteen years, and sometimes I still think he has a screw loose sometimes. Am I trusting him as well as I should?

Then I thought, well, I understand the "bride" part. But what about the Christ part? Ah, let's look at this. A bride would have to trust Christ. This isn't about sex, or pretty dresses, or chicken wings. This is about trusting for everything. For the good, for the bad, for the ugly. Knowing that He will always be there to pick me up, even when I fall. And I fall, more often than I should. I fall, I stand up, I dust off my knees. Then I keep going. I want to be a bride again. Full of trust, anticipation, and ready for the future.

Who's in a Bad Mood? That Would Be Me

Grrrrr. Work, chores. Work, chores. Work, chores.

Sarah needs a vacation. Somewhere without work or chores, please.

Job Update for the Hubby

In a nutshell, Mr. R gave his one week notice, and the jerk fired him the next day.

Blessedly, Mr. R is back at his old job. They never even took him out of the computer. Just gave him the keys back to the same truck, and told him they'd have a load ready for him on Monday. So Mr. R has the rest of this week off, which I LOVE. My honey-do list is longer than the length of my arm, and he's been game so far. In fact, he is taking the boys to a podiatrist appointment today, so I don't miss work. Frankly, anything having to do with stinky teenage boy feet, I will gladly take a pass. Bucket has plantar warts, and Tiger has one of the worst ingrown toenails I've ever seen. He had surgery on his other foot before, and now it looks like he's going to need it again. Sigh...

I've just been keeping busy with mountains of housework, homework, and work. That's a lot of work! Tonight is supposed to be a stormy night here in Florida, and so I'm hoping we can work on the Christmas decorations inside the house. I'll take pictures when I'm done!

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my bloggy friends! From the "R" Family to yours, we pray you had a wonderful (and happily goofy) day.

Rainy Wednesday

The kids are out of school. You'd think they could spend one day together without fighting. Alas, that is what I get for thinking. They've been arguing since 10am. And I'm trying to work throughout the entire whiny episode. Normally, a rainy day at home thrills me to no end. Unfortunately, I couldn't kick them outside to play because I'm not interested in having three kids with pneumonia next week. So inside they stayed, nitpicking and harassing each other. Yeah, it's been a fun day. *rolls eyes*

We have a mellow sort of Thanksgiving planned. Going to my parent's house around noon. The only thing I have to make is pumpkin pies and green bean casserole. Mr. R's parents do not "do" Thanksgiving. They go to Golden Corral for the buffet and stiff the waitress. Mr. R's sister is making her own Thanksgiving, but I haven't been invited...nice, right?

I know I did a Trucker's Wives List a few days ago, but now I'd like to do a top 10 Thankful List:

10) I'm thankful for a job that allows me to work from home. I do love being home when they get in from school.

9) I'm thankful for my church. It took me a long time to find a place where I wouldn't be rejected due to Bucket's autism.

8) I'm thankful for our general health. I know that's an easy one to jump to, but no one has been sick yet all year, except for some sniffles.

7) I'm thankful that I'm able to attend college online. Without Herzing, I wouldn't be able to finish my degree.

6) I'm thankful for my family, friends, church family. I have lots of people to love, and people who love me.

5) I'm thankful for my husband's job, even though I've been grumbling about it lately. I know many daddies who wish they had to work too much.

4) I'm thankful for music, especially Christmas music. I have a difficult time getting into the holiday spirit when it's 85 degrees outside, and wintry music just makes my day!

3) I'm grateful that I'm nearly done Christmas shopping for the kids already.

2) I'm thankful for a strong marriage.

1) I'm thankful for Jesus, who died on a cross for me over 2000 years ago.

Ten Signs You're Married to a Trucker

10) Your grass is a foot higher than anyone else's on your street.
9) Your cell phone bill is as much as your car payment.
8) Everyone at church thinks you're a single mom.
7) Your box of tax deductible receipts weighs as much as one of your children at birth.
6) You bristle when you hear someone make a comment about bad truck drivers.
5) He thinks your baked chicken, mashed potatoes and peas dinner is gourmet.
4) He gives up sleep to go a) camping b) fishing c) mall shopping with the kids, because he's already missed so much.
3) You've learned to pray on the spot for his safety when you realize he is driving nearby hurricanes, tornadoes, snow storms, floods and presidential elections.
2) You've learned to change a flat, cut down your own Christmas tree, fix a leaky faucet and bait a hook, because it just can't wait until he comes home (except the lawn, I just don't care. Haha!).
1) You could be wearing old yoga pants, a tank top, no make up, glasses on, hair up in a bun, and he thinks you're hot stuff. Don't correct him! YOU ARE.