I normally like Fridays. Weekend, pizza (well, I don't eat pizza anymore, but I don't have to cook) sleeping in on Saturday. Good times. Today wanted to slap that idea right out of my head. My son's school called me twice today to basically tell me how evil he is (and he really was being a truly rotten kid.) I found out that all three of my kiddos are failing at least one class; and it's only the third week of school. Bucket had detention today for being rude to a teacher. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. I feel like I have completely failed as a mother. My kids are arrogant, rude, nasty, and disrespectful. I wonder how they learned this; I am certain it was not me, but doubt lingers in my mind. Blaming my husband makes no sense, as he's not even here; this is clearly my doing. I sat in my room, and wondered how I managed to screw it all up. I chose a work at home job. I bring them to church. I take them to the library, and read to them when they were little, and kissed their boo-boos and taught them how to pray. Is this the time when all of my work is basically complete, and I get to watch them falter into the world? Is it true that for the teenage years, it really is my job to just feed, clothe and house them; that the actual work of training them is done? If so, then I'm releasing three nutcases onto the world. They have very little work ethic unless threatened; a sense of entitlement; disrespect for elders; and a callous nature toward others. I look at them and wish I could redo certain things, but I'm not even sure what.
I used to think that the best thing in the world I ever did was be a mother, but I don't think so anymore.