Monday, June 20, 2011

He Emailed Me Back

He emailed me over the weekend at my work account, so I didn't find it until Monday morning.  My first communications with my bio dad in over six years.  It was...well, I was ok with it.  At least he didn't tell me how much he loved me and missed me, because then I would have been mad.  It sounds like an email from a man who is contrite.  And if you think I'm wrong, well....I guess.  Here it is.
Hi, my sister asked me to contact you and let you know what's happening.  I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, a cancer of the blood.  Although it's not hereditary, my Oncologist asked me to advise all siblings and children and advise same. 
A bone marrow transplant is several months away as they want to try oral medications first to see if I can tolerate the med's.  They have prescribed nausea medicine as well as pain medication as I'm in constant pain.  The doctor prescribed Revlimid for a 28 day regiment followed by 4 days of steroids.  A blood test will be given to see if I can tolerate the drugs and see if it is stopping the cancer, going into remission or progressing.  Worse case scenario is the cancer progressing and then they will up the dosage.  If after the second month and no remission, then chemo therapy sitting in the chair through intravenous.  I'm going to have to up my Humalog as the steroids will spike the blood sugar. 
Don't know if you knew that they amputated several toes due to complications from the diabetes.  I'm also losing my vision in one eye, the left one.
So, as you can see, I'm a total mess.  I'm on 100% disability suffering two heart attacks and having a quadruple by-pass.
I don't use Face Book and my aol account is easier for me to work with.
My cell number, if you want to call me, is xxxxxxxxxxxxxx.
I understand if you don't want to and I appreciate what you're willing to do for me.  I can't fix the past as it's too painful to think about.
I'm sorry for all the hurt I've put you through and no amount of words can ever fix it. 
All I can say is I've never stopped thinking about you and I'm glad you have found peace in your life.
Thanks again
It's enough for me, for now.  


Jennifer M. said...

You know, I appreciate that he isn't trying to be "Dad". He's acknowledging his mistakes but not dwelling on them. And he's giving you the space to back away and not contact him. That's very decent of him. It still would be very weird to be in contact with him after all these years though, I would imagine!

Sarah R said...

It really was weird, Jen. And you're right, I would not have reacted well to a letter from someone trying to act "daddyish." (not a word, but I don't care.)

D'Rae said...

I am so sorry that you are going through all of this. What a terrible ordeal. I will be praying for you and your family as you go through this.

ps. We are going to the Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg TN area.

Later on in the year, we are hoping to get down to the beach in Florida though! (Or maybe next spring)

Sarah R said...

That's a beautiful area, D'Rae. And I'd definitely wait to travel here to FL until November if you can wait. November through March is just delightful here. It's awful right now. Tomorrow is 97 with a heat index of 105.