Thursday, August 12, 2010

Do I Have a Right to be as Annoyed as I Am?

I've been a diagnosed diabetic for a month.  Less than, actually.  My feelings are still bruised and I'm still very emotionally raw about the whole situation.  I have shared with a few people; you guys, but that's sort of anonymous.  My hubby of course.  My kids, because they see the glucose meter and I needed to make sure none of their friends were going to mess with the lancets and stuff.  And my mom and sister, plus her husband Paul.  That reminds me, Paul works in my department.  I need to email him to let him know not to tell any staff members.

Well, both my mom AND my husband went off and told other people before I was ready to share the news!  My mom told my Aunt Nancy, who decided to send me this long email about how us fat chicks have to exercise more and eat less.  (Thanks for the newsflash.  In other breaking news, the world is round and birds fly.  Back to you in the studio, Chuck.)  Then Mr. R told MY DAD before I could tell him, and then told HIS MOM.  Who just called me and cheerfully asked if I needed any lancets or test strips because she has too many and wants to share.  (This is seriously the exact reason I didn't want to tell his mom; she drives me crazy with retarded phone calls all day about her pooping schedule and what's on sale at Wal-Mart, I didn't need to get this, too.)  So I texted Mr. R and asked why he shared this information; and he told me to GET OVER IT.  Wha???? 

It honestly took most of my human strength not to call him and just straight up start cursing.  Instead, I turned off my cell and prayed for restraint.  I know he's not doing it to hurt me, but I'm not ready yet.  I suppose I feel some shame in being a 35 year old diabetic.  I know that while I have a strong family history, I ignored other signs as well, and I feel pretty stupid about it.  I feel like there should be a big sign over my head saying YOU HOOOO!  OVER HERE!  BIG FAT GIRL HAS DIABETES HERE.  SHE HATES TO EXERCISE AND IS TOTALLY GLUTTONOUS.  LET'S MAKE FUN OF HER FAT BEHIND RIGHT TO HER FACE AND THEN RAISE HER HEALTH INSURANCE DEDUCTIBLE BECAUSE SHE IS COSTING TAXPAYERS SIMPLY BY BREATHING.  THROW CARROTS AT HER, MAYBE SHE'LL EAT THEM!  OR MAYBE SHE'LL SPREAD CHOCOLATE FROSTING ON THEM INSTEAD!  AFTER ALL, SHE IS A TOTAL FAT *SS AND CAN'T CONTROL HERSELF ANYWAY!

That's a really long sign.
Vent over for now.  Please contnue your day.


Kelly said...

Oh Sarah :::hug:::

I so get the upset that he shared with others thing. Doug does that about things he wouldn't mind sharing, but are personal to me, and can't understand why it bothers me. Poor guy has no clue.

I understand not being ready :::hug:::

Sarah R said...

I'm not ready to show the chink in my armor. I admit it. I like being known as the strong ballsy type. This is a weakness and I'm not ready to show it to everyone.