Monday, June 29, 2009

I Couldn't Make This Up If I Tried...

On Friday, Mr. R came home around 7pm. It was the EXACT time I was supposed to show up at a "party" at Missy's friends' house. I didn't want to go to this party. I've known these people for four years and never once had a conversation with them other than, "Can you pick up the girls?" or "She's not home. Call later." Not exactly the warmest people. I was surprised to find I had been invited to a party at their home. Of course, I was given one day's notice, which made me assume I was a last minute addition. Not my favorite, but whatever.
I decided I was going to be fashionably late. After all, I had been given a last minute invitation, and most parties don't start on demand at 7pm, so I figured I'd be there by 8pm. Still plenty of time to mingle, say hello, and all that.
At 7:30, I got an anxious call from my daughter's friend wanting to know why I wasn't there yet.
How odd. Why does it matter that I'm 30 minutes late? I told the girl I wouldn't be on time. My suspicions were up, but I wasn't quite sure what to think of the situation.
I finally got to this girl's house by 8pm. Their driveway was PACKED. As in, I had to park in someone else's lawn, which always makes me feel bad. I walk up, only to find out, this isn't exactly a party. It's a sales party. Like Tupperware, or Pampered Chef. Only I discovered, in horror, that this was much worse.

It was a porn party.

Peeps, I walked into a living room where lingerie was hanging everywhere, special lotions that "warm and tingle" were being sampled, and large...uh...members were being passed around. *cough cough*
I stood there with my mouth open, which in retrospect was probably not a wise choice. The father of my daughter's friend beamed when he saw me. "Sarah!!! Take a seat!" and like a moron, I did so. I sat through one demonstration on how to properly use the tingly lotion (not with your tongue, or it will go numb) before I stood up, and walked out without saying a word to anyone.

I'm not a prude by any means. After all, I did have three kids by the time I was 23. I know people who found it amusing that I had the chutzpah to wear a white dress for my wedding, and I am not against "marital aids" if that's what you want to call them. What I'm against is being told I'm going to a housewarming party, and then find out its only sales that you're after. And seriously, considering that this is such a hot button issue, wouldn't it be something you'd mention, in case she has a moral issue with toys? And frankly, if and when I do buy something like that, it's going to be with my husband, and not in front of people who I see on a regular weekly basis! That's just not something I need for them to know about me!



Kelly said...

Oh Wow! I would certainly want to know it was that kind of party when I was invited. I think that hostess was quite rude. And there were men there? I wouldn't be comfortable with a couples party at all!

I'm with you though. If I'm doing that type of shopping, it will be with my husband in the privacy of my home.

Sarah, your life is never dull.

Sarah R said...

Yes, there were other men there! That automatically tipped the "ewwww" factor up for me.

You're right. It's always something around here, lol.