So I'm at home having another miscarriage. It appears to be my December theme for the past THREE YEARS for pete's sake.
On Sunday evening, my husband and I were going to a friend's house for dinner, a couple we hadn't seen in about fifteen years even though they live in Orlando. On the way there, I was telling my husband that my eyes were itching really bad. Then my arms started itching. I wasn't sure what was up. About twenty minutes later, my friend Denise grabbed my arm and started screaming. I was covered in hives. I guess all that itching was for a good reason.
So I'm back at home. No bleeding yet, but intense abdominal cramping and still some nausea. I've lost 6 pounds in three days because I can't hold much food down yet. I did manage to get some broth and water into my system. I had planned on this being my week to get my old desk area organized and getting a ton of coding done, and I've done nothing but sleep. I deleted my baby boards on Pinterest because I just can't anymore. I'm planning to either sell or donate the crib I have, and get rid of everything baby related. I can't deal with baby stuff anymore. I tried...my husband and I tried to have another one and it just didn't happen for us. Instead of aching for what I don't have, I need to be grateful for the three I do have (although they have royally pissed me off with this last illness of mine...literally did nothing until I got up and started crying over the state of the house.)
The only good thing about this, is that once I heal from this last miscarriage, I really want to focus on my health for 2015. I lost almost 30lbs in 2014, and would love to be in the 100s by the end of 2015. I'm about 250 right now and I think 50lbs in a year is doable. I can't do anything while I'm going through this, of course, but once I heal, I plan to get back to it. I did great last year, and tapered off quite a bit once I lost my job. Time to refocus my life.
Have a wonderful, joyous and safe New Year, my readers. I'll be back in 2015, with joy in my heart and purpose in my step.