Thursday, January 24, 2013


Tiger rests comfortably in his room.  I filled his pain prescription and he hasn't taken a single pill.  I kept him in bed with me last night, and he slept easily, not even snoring.  I kept waking up to check to see if he had a fever, or was in any pain.  It was a smooth night, of me smiling at my boy, loving him, thanking God for such a privilege as this, to be his mother and caretaker.  Those days are winding down.  In a few short years, he'll be sleeping in bed with his wife instead of me, and she'll be the one who smiles at him in the darkness of their room. 

He took a shower, removed the bandages, put fresh ones on, got dressed.  He started a load of laundry.  He made a bowl of cereal the size of his own head.  He was playing video games earlier but they're not on now, so I'm guessing he fell back asleep. 

Work is busy.  The poor girl who worked my accounts yesterday called me in tears to tell me she doesn't know how I do it.  I had really wanted to take today off as well, but she was so upset I decided to come back a day early to relieve her.  But I'm grateful for the work to keep my mind active.  I'm also doing some housework in between accounts and phone calls; loaded the dishwasher, moved stuff from washer to dryer.  Simple things really, but the hum of appliances soothes my heart.  I folded towels while I was on hold with an insurance company, holding the warm fabric against my chest and smiling.   Tiger's music teacher comes over on Thursday nights, and while I don't think Tiger is ready for a lesson, I decided to still make dinner for us all.  I decided I wanted Beef Stroganoff tonight.  I've never made it before, and I'm making it with ground beef instead of steak strips.  But it sounded warm and comforting on a busy, somewhat chilly day.  I've got biscuits in the fridge to sop up the gravy and it sounded great to me.  So Beef Stroganoff it is.

Today is not a great day for fashion.  :D  I'm wearing my ankle length coral skirt, my plaid flip flops, and a brown tee shirt which is covered in bleach and marker stains.  I knew I'd be cleaning today, and there's no point in ruining a good shirt.  I didn't bother with make up or jewelry either, but I did have two cups of delicious non hospital coffee.  Yum!

After weeks of chaos and pain, today was one of the first days I've sat at my desk and not sobbed.  I have been at my desk since 6am, trying to fix accounts and put my schedule back in order.  I can see the sun rise through my back door, and I grinned as the pink and red sunshine came through my white curtains.  I thought of the verse in Lamentations 3 22-24:  "Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.  They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.  I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”  I don't know if my afflictions are done yet, but I do know, his mercies are fresh every morning.

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