Yaaaaay, I finally got to sleep in today! Well, 8:30 may not be sleeping in much, and I did have to get up at 4am because a kitty cat had a bad attitude, but I still got a solid 8-9 hours under my belt. I feel pretty good today. I finally woke up because Mr. R called me, and he was shocked that I was still in bed. I'm having a lazy cup of coffee and will make breakfast in a minute. My blood sugar was 111 this morning, which is on the excellent side. I used the bathroom, stripped off my pjs, and hopped on the scale.
Another pound, lost. Bye bye.
This must be water weight or something. I seriously don't get the mechanics behind this. I'm eating constantly and have not been exercising. And I've lost 9 pounds now, in 6 days. I called Mr. R back, feeling stupid. "Do you think this is dangerous?" I asked him. "Nah," he said. "It's not like you're throwing up or doing one of those liquid juice diets. You're eating, you have energy. Just be grateful!" And I am, but can I share a funny little fear I have?
I'm scared to NOT to be plus sized.
I have been plus sized, since I got married. My first year of college, instead of the freshman 15, I saw the freshman 50. I was about 190 when I got married. My mom had to alter my wedding gown because I had put on so much weight that even with a girdle, I wasn't getting into it. At 190, I was wearing about a size 16. My wedding dress had been either a 12 or a 14 when I bought it six months before I got married. Whoops. So basically, my entire adult life, I have been a plus sized woman. As an adult, as a married woman, as a mother, I have only known being plus sized, and that's been for the past seventeen years. I was quite a bit smaller in high school. I was straight sized then, and honestly, I don't want to dress like I'm fourteen again. Not too many 35 year old women look great in skin tight acid washed ripped jeans and a Guns n Roses tee. In my mind, that is how I associate being smaller.
I kind of want to stay plus sized. I relate to plus sized women. I see celebrities on TV and shake my head when I see how bony they are, and wonder how that can possibly be healthy or sexy. I have no idea how to dress straight sized, as an adult. I've spent my entire adult life playing up my curves, doing my best to hide the lumpy tummy, getting used to buying wide width shoes, and just owning my plus sized self. Does losing weight mean I'm going to lose this part of my identity?
I'd like to get to this point:
This type of body shape, is my ultimate goal. Not super thin, not bony. Strong, healthy, curvy. This is the plus size I want to be.
Will someone buy me that swimsuit? Goodness, I could use a new one!
Ok, like I said before, this is not a weight loss blog. Here are my plans for the day:
1) read Bible
2) drink coffee
3) clean my car
4) open up windows and doors to let fresh air in; it's only about 65-70 out there right now...bliss!
5) clean out my fridge and reorganize it. Something stinks in there. I'm afraid to find it.
6) drink more coffee
7) I have 5 bananas I didn't get to fast enough, so I think I'm making muffins later
8) play Uno with my kids
9) pluck my eyebrows. I should really have two of them, instead of them trying to meet in the middle!
Have an awesome day, friends!