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Monday, June 30, 2008

I Won't Apologize for Who I Am and What I Stand For


My name is Sarah. I'm 33 years old. Married for almost 14 years, but been with my husband for over 18 years. I'm a mother of three children. I have a job but it doesn't have me. I'm a student. Most importantly, I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, who is my Lord and Savior. I won't change for anyone. Being a Christian is an integral part of who I am.
It was never more obvious to me that I am a Christian until this past Saturday night. I went on a date with Mr. R. We went to see a concert of some old friends of Mr. R's, from back in his band days. Back then, I was always home with the kids, because I was either a) pregnant b) nursing or c) a combination of both. So I was never really around the scene. All the guys knew Mr. R was married, but had not met me because I was busy with our children. Back then, I was insanely jealous of the time Mr. R spent out with his friends, while I was dealing with the "drudgery" of caring for our children. Last Saturday, I realize I got the better end of the deal.
It was some guy's 40th birthday. When you think of 40th birthday, what are you thinking? A guy with a bit of middle age paunch, probably starting to bald. Perhaps you have a barbecue, blow up some black "Over the Hill" balloons, and get an ice cream cake. Oh noooo. This was a personal rock concert for this guy, who was also a band member. People kept getting up on stage to wish Roger a "Happy F'in Birthday" and to drink shots. I was offered jello shots at least three times. Even though there is a law against it, the bar was filled with smoke. The smoke was so bad, I actually had to leave after the second set because I started to wheeze. I listened to the concert from the parking lot while Mr. R stayed inside to watch his friends.
While outside, I was hit on by three separate extremely drunk men, and one transient asked me for $20. Ummm, no to all of you. But while out there, I was filled with joy. Mostly because I realized that this life in the bar was not for me. I didn't need this. I was smiling when Mr. R finally came outside. He was surprised because he thought I would be mad about sitting outside on my own. If nothing, last Saturday night proved to me that I've made the right choices with my life. Even Mr. R confessed to me on the drive home, "That was stupid. Everyone was acting like idiots. It was all about getting drunk, that's the only way to have fun for these people." Indeed, when I opened my computer on Monday morning, the first e-mail on my myspace page had a lovely comment about how the birthday boy passed out on his driveway after the show. Wow, an accomplishment for a 40 year old. No thanks! Who's wondering if this genius drove home in his inebriated state?
I got home from the concert Saturday night, and took a shower to get the smoky funk off me. I had to wash Mr. R's shoes because some drunk girl fell on him and she spilled her beer on his shoes. Then I laid in my bed, with the man of dreams, in our clean bed, in our (mostly) clean home, and I was just content. Then in the morning, I got up and made him breakfast in bed. Fresh coffee, over easy eggs, corn beef hash, and toast. I caught up on laundry, watched the news, read the paper, and was just generally content in my little world.
I won't apologize for loving home, and everything that goes with it. If that smoky bar is the world, the world can keep it. I have no desire to have anything to do with that kind of atmosphere. I'd rather be at home, with my sweet family, with my loving husband, and take care of them, than to be out in that. I think of the verse in Proverbs:

Proverbs 7:10-12 (New International Version)

10 Then out came a woman to meet him,
dressed like a prostitute and with crafty intent.
11 (She is loud and defiant,
her feet never stay at home;
12 now in the street, now in the squares,
at every corner she lurks.)


Now, I'm not saying that as women, you're stuck in your house for the rest of your life. Obviously, you're allowed to leave the house. But a woman who finds her husband and children her priority, won't generally be out late at night at a band show. She'll be home, watching her children, getting ready for the next day. There are always exceptions to his, I'm just saying that for the most part, I BELONG AT HOME WITH MY FAMILY. At this show, there were plenty of women dressed as prostitutes (note the proverb says dressed LIKE a prostitute, not an actual prostitute. How we present ourselves is so important!) And I have to say, not too many of the women there were demure or quiet. It was mostly women behind me screaming, "WWWHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTT!" Everytime someone made a sexual reference on stage. One guy even got on the stage and told everyone that a girl at the bar did certain things for $5. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. And she was proud of it. She stood on the barstool and lifted up her shirt. To say she was popular was an understatement.
So world, thanks but no thanks. You showed me what you had to offer, and I'm not impressed.

4 comments:

Julia said...

Ewww, how immature and pathetic. I'll admit I enjoy having a drink or two because it's fun and it makes me feel giggly, but the party scene is an entirely different thing. I hate smoky bars! Last time I went somewhere like that I ended up sitting outside on a bench because the atmosphere made me feel sick to my stomach.

Sarah R said...

I'm with you, Julia. I'll enjoy a drink or two, but vomiting on my driveway will not be on my to-do list. I ended up outside for most of the night too. The 80 million mosquito bites I have prove it! ;)

Miriam said...

ooh, hahahaha!!! Sarah, your drapes say coffee!!! oohhh HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I love that about you!!!
Cheers friend!

Sarah R said...

You're right, Miriam! Good eye. Yes those are the curtains in my office. I need something in there to keep me awake, right?