And this mysterious substance showed up on my shirt! I was so confused! I wasn't sure what it was, so I asked a gym regular. He said it's called "SWEAT" and it happens when one exerts oneself! WELL WHO KNEW?!?!
I've also discovered that you need stuff to work out. Like a towel. And a water bottle. Possibly a gym bag so you don't have keys in your pocket the entire time. Did I mention the water bottle? That's really important. And more than one pair of pants. That's helpful too. I have good shoes. New Balance, baby!
I discovered that I like the bicycle thingy more than the treadmill thingy. I think it's because my legs get tired holding my fat patootie up, and on the bicycle, I can sit. I read an entire magazine while on the bicycle (next time, wear glasses. Headache!!!) and hardly noticed the thirty minutes go by except for the insane clicking in my left knee. Stupid car accident!