Who Dis?

Yeah, so it's been four long months since I've logged in.  Whoops!  My daughter got out of jail in late September, got a job, and promptly fell right back into her drug abuse.  On her own accord, she decided to go back to rehab.  So she's out of the house, and my husband and I have sworn that she will never live with us again.  We have lost every single spoon to her heroin use, plus her coming in and out all time of the night, leaving doors unlocked and our home vulnerable...no thanks.  After rehab, she will be going to live in a sober living facility and at that point, figure out her own life.  She will be 24 this year....TWENTY FOUR!  It's not my job to take care of her anymore, she has to learn to do this herself.  I'll always be praying for her, and talk to her, but I do not ever want to live with her again.  Already, the house is so much more peaceful and serene.  I hated coming home when she lived with us, but I'm back to loving my house again.  It seems so sad.  I'd love to have an adult relationship with her but I can't do that until she's clean and sober.  I don't want to enable her and I won't lower my standards. 

What else is going on?  Still working at the same place, of course I still love it there and I'm smiling most mornings that I walk in; hey, when I get stuck in traffic sometimes I'm a bit grumpy.  I'm loving my second job as an online professor too.  In fact, I'm now coming in Thursdays for hands-on tutoring and teaching two classes, plus I'm getting a third one added on in two weeks.  The extra money is all going toward the debt we incurred with my daughter's addiction, and after we are done paying all that off, will go into our savings (of which we have very little, thanks to her.)

Oh, and I'm a semi-blonde again.  Hard to keep up, isn't it?

The boys are doing well.  Husband loves his new job, he's now an instructor for semi driving.  My oldest boy, Tiger, will be 22 in April (how the heck....) and is getting his commercial drivers license.  The youngest, Bucket, is kind of at a standstill, but I was so busy trying to keep his sister alive that he fell by the wayside.  Attention is back on him now, and he's attempting to finish high school in spite of his learning disability. 

I hope all of you are doing well and keeping out of trouble!

Getting Closer

It's really kind of sad, but with my daughter in jail for a few more weeks, I've been more relaxed and happy than ever.  Don't get me wrong; I miss her.  But I miss my real daughter, not that drug addicted thief I used to live with.  I hope my real daughter is the one who returns but I'm terrified that as soon as she's out, she will relapse and I will have to bury my firstborn.

But for now, I spend time with my husband.  We relish our empty nest syndrome (me more than him) and we can just get up and go out without worrying about child care.  It's really nice!

A pleasant walk on New Smyrna Beach on a cloudy Sunday afternoon.

My full time job is going very well.  Hard to believe I'll be there almost two years!  It's definitely the best job I've ever had, hands down.  I feel valued, challenged, and respected in this position and I've turned down other possible positions that paid more, but it's hard for me to leave a job I love so much.  I don't even mind the drive (especially since I have my new car!) and I still get the giggles when I get to leave early at 1pm every Friday as one of my perks.

I love my second job too.  I'm actually currently "working" right now as I write this blog post.  I have 30 minutes left in my "office hour" but I'm done grading.  So as long as I hang out and wait for any of my students to appear, I can do pretty much whatever I want.

My husband finally left his job as a long distance trucker.  He came home and took a temp job as a dump truck driver, all the while looking for something else local with reasonable hours.  It's ridiculous how many hours these local jobs were expecting their drivers to work with no rest and no over time.  He's not a very old guy (46 in December) but he couldn't keep up with the ridiculous hours and was reaching burn out very quickly.  On a whim, I said, "it's a shame you can't teach truck driving like I'm teaching coding."  So we googled that and it turned out that two nearby truck driving schools were hiring instructors.  I applied for him to the nearest one, they literally called the next day wanting to talk to him!  He then went in the following day to do a road test, they took copies of his license, and I kid you not, two days later they offered him a full time position as an instructor!  He took it, he starts next week and we will finally have a life with each other!  We are both so excited about this part of our lives together.  We have spent a lot of years apart and while we can't get that time back, we can certainly be excited about the future.

How are you feeling about your future these days?

What Next?

To me, these days feel like strange times to me.  I'm not actively looking to find or change jobs.  My marriage is secure and we enjoy each other's company.  My children are grown (although not really doing too many grown up things, but I'm sure that will come.)  These days, my husband is looking to change from over the road driving to local work (interview tomorrow!) and for us to spend more time together as a couple.  We're looking for fun things to do in Central Florida that are not theme park oriented and working on sprucing up the back yard to become an intimate party haven for our friends and family.

Maybe this is something that just comes to couples in their forties, but we really enjoy spending time at home together, grilling out, sitting on our porch, while our puppies frolic around us and we avoid drama.  He wants to garden, I want to read.  We spend time together, but also apart, and contentment is the order of the day.  As I am writing this, he's in the garage working on a project, while I ran a load of dishes, one of the laundry, and about to start grading some papers for my second job.

I got my hair done again (every two months, I try to be consistent!) and like I said in my birthday post back in May, I think I've found my look.  I did rose gold again (with a few darker pink stripes thrown in) and kept to my inverted lob.

Even grown out, it looked pretty good.  I also got new glasses again.  One of these days, I will spring for Lasik.

I can always tells when I need a cut because I get frizzy on the ends.

Off to my stylist!

Yeah.  She's kind of amazing.  I got a cut and my hair looks longer!  Of course, she straightened it for me.  One of these days, I will get a straightener.

Yes,  I love this.  I feel refreshed!

I also did this...this helped to remove some of the bulk and help my hair look longer.

Of course I had to wear a pink shirt to show off my new pink hair.

Cubicle light doing nothing for me here.

Friday morning vibes.  I'm ready to gooooooo.

Off to a seminar on Saturday morning.

What kind of activities do you like to do with your husband?  Hubs and I are considering taking up bike riding.  We both have bikes already, and Central Florida has lots of great trails.  Also, there is an ecotourism push to connect all the trails in Central Florida so they go across the entire state from coast to coast (meaning, East Coast Atlantic Ocean to West Coast Gulf of Mexico.)  It's a great way to get in shape and spend time together!  I'm a Disney lover but it's so expensive and my husband is not a theme park fan.