She Designed a Life She Loved

Oh peeps!  I feel pretty bad that I haven't posted in a while, but I've been living my life and enjoying the heck out of myself!

I got past the 90 days at my new job without a hitch.  I love it there.  In fact, I was picked to do a special auditing project which has had me using my certification in a new way, and I love learning new things so I have really enjoyed it.  I work with a lovely group of women who are all very encouraging and so kind.  I have a flexible schedule and half days on Fridays.  As far as work/career, I am very, very happy.

When I'm happy (or sad, or depressed, or just breathing) I tend to eat.  And I sure did.  I didn't realize how much weight I'd gained until I saw pictures at Christmas.

I'm even sucking it in here, too.  

All fat girls have learned the art of the head tilt to avoid that delightful double or triple chin.  I'm no exception.

And of course my father in law posted all of these on Facebook.  Because...life.  So, with that, I decided along with millions of other people in January to change my eating habits, get active, and lose some weight.  My starting weight on January 1 was 259.4.  Not the heaviest I've ever been (I've definitely been over 300 at one point but it was probably ten or more years ago when the kids were much younger.)  I don't know why, but this time feels different.  In the 28 days since the New Year, I've lost ten pounds.  I started running using the C25K program.  I got professionally fitted for real running shoes.  I've signed up for a 5K.  And I joined a gym, where I was professionally measured and given a 4 time a week workout program.  And I actually go.

I absolutely adore being a wife and mother, but now that everyone has grown up and my husband still travels, I'm finally investing time in myself.  I do not feel guilty at all about not coming home right after work.  I go running with my sister twice a week at the park, I go to the gym three to four other days a week by myself.  My goal (I can't believe I'm even saying this because it still feels really far away) is to run a half marathon in 2018.  I've gotten to the point where if I miss a workout, my body really misses it and I feel more tired.  I catch myself stretching and noticing muscle formation in my thighs, and my waist getting smaller.  I don't know if it's the extra blood flow or just feeling pumped, but my sex drive is through the roof.  That's actually quite unfortunate because my poor husband has injured his back again and he's been miserable with pain.  That's marriage, isn't it?  Oh well.

This is the beginning of December when my sister completed her first half marathon.  She's still smiling!

I was not happy about this picture.  No ma'am.  But someday, I'm sure I'll appreciate how fat and sweaty I am here.  This is us after a run at the park.  Of course she's still smiling, Miss Perky Pants. 

One other thing I notice is how fast my hair grows.  From the half marathon picture in early December to Christmas, and now end of January...that's two months and look at how long it grew!  Why do I bother with these pixie cuts?  I can't keep up! I can actually pull my hair back in a ponytail again, although it's tiny and ridiculous.

I hope everyone here is doing well.  I'm not taking clothing pics because clothing doesn't fit well right now.  It's probably the part of my life that has me bummed lately, as I don't feel I look my best right now.  I've never shied away from dressing nicely even as a fat person.  I'm being cheap and not buying new things.  I probably need to get myself back to Goodwill and find pants.  My 18/20s are ridiculously huge, I can pull them completely down when they're zipped and buttoned.  But that fear of giving up clothes is weird.  I probably need therapy or something!