I'm a Bad, Bad Blogger!

Well hello you guys!  I know it's been two months since my last blog post, but life is keeping me busy and I don't think about my blog very often.  The merger at my job went smoothly, and my medical coding career has been very fast paced.  In fact, as I write this, I am proctoring an exam.  Unfortunately, my home life has SUCKED lately.  My older son Tiger lost his job, I found out Bucket is not graduating high school again, and my daughter had a drug relapse and is abusing IV drugs.  I'm so tired, peeps.  I never thought work would be my escape but I almost despise weekends because I'm in the house with four angry young adults (my son's girlfriend now lives with us.)

I'm doing my best.  I had a doctor appointment yesterday where I broke down and cried.  My health is not great.  My A1C (indicator of blood sugar) is the highest it's ever been.  I gained weight, injured my knee in a 5K last weekend, and my blood pressure is sky high even with three medications.  My PCP suggested I see a therapist.  At first I thought, Are you kidding me...but I found myself agreeing that I need help.  I'm a pretty laid back kind of girl but my anxiety is through the roof lately, to the point where I had my first panic attack about two months ago.

Possibly the worst picture I have ever posted on this blog.  I am so stressed out that my right jaw constantly breaks out into incredibly large, painful pimples that take weeks to heal, and are now leaving scars.  And I'd like to thank the person from my church who decided this photo was good enough to be published.  SMH.

I miss them being little.  I miss them trusting me.  I miss playing fun games, and bed time stories, and coloring, and making forts on Nana's porch.  Tiger is in stripes Bucket is in black.  I am thinking Tiger is about four here, Bucket would be three and that would make Missy six years old.

With this new merger, I have the opportunity to go back to school, and I've started the process.  Right now, the plan is to start in September and get my bachelor's degree in Health Information Management and then move into the Master's program too.  I will try to get some full length pictures going, but with all the anxiety and skin lesions, I haven't been taking pictures.  With the weight loss, my clothes don't really fit properly and I'm not looking as sharp as I'd like.  I may go shopping later today.  Pants in particular feel wonky on me right now.  I need to find some cute shift dresses that will hide the mid-section.  I'm totally willing to start over on my wardrobe, get four dresses (Monday through Thursday) and then my jeans with the company shirt on Fridays and simplify my life.  Would you be willing to throw all your clothes away for a fresh start?