I Don't Even Know What To Do Anymore

I had two temp jobs lined up.  One was for this Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday at a car dealership, greeting people and having them sign up for raffles.  Again, not what I want, but it would have been an easy $300, enough to pay my power bill.
Canceled today.

Then I have a two month assignment at a pharmacy which was supposed to start December 1st.  Was called today and told it was pushed back to December 8th.  That means I only get one paycheck before Christmas.  I kinda just want to cry.  I'm trying SO HARD.  I am interviewing, having great rapport with the interviewers, they seem so interested!  I do my follow up emails, shake hands and smile...and then?  NOTHING.  I am assuming that many places are going with younger people, with less experience, and being able to pay them less.

I have to say, right now I am just about sick of the way HR works; I am jumping through their hoops in hopes of getting hired, without ever getting even a simple "We're sorry, we chose someone else" email.  I have taken so many tests to gauge my skills, passed psychological exams, only to be told that the position was filled, but thanks so much for my time.  I'm really, really over it.

I truly understand why people decide to go into business for themselves.  I am tired of being told NO, or worse, being completely ignored.  I worked my TAIL OFF to get my CPC and I can't find a single place that is willing to hire me because I've never worked as a coder before.  Except for this remote job, which has decided that giving new coders reports that are 100 pages long are totally normal.  So it's taking me 5 hours to code a report, and I make SIX WHOLE DOLLARS for my five hours of work.

This is my standard job interview outfit.  My black and white polka dot dress, my green Target cardigan, black tights and black heels.  I have been told by my interviewers over and over (once I ask about their dress code, I always ask because sometimes it's hard to tell!) that "what you're wearing is perfect, you look so nice!"  I've also worn this cardigan with my gray Lane Bryant slacks, and the black heels at interviews.

Yes, my hair is long enough for a small ponytail in the back again.  I'm in the bathroom of an office in Altamonte Springs, a suburb of Orlando, at ANOTHER interview.  This one went very well, though.

So, let me ask you guys a question, and please, don't just scroll by and not say anything.  I'm truly asking around.

This interview that I am at here, ended up being life insurance sales.  At first I was completely turned off and annoyed that I wasted gas money getting there.  But the more I listened, the more it made sense.  Now, please know that I knew that I was listening to a sales person, and that their job is...duh...to sell the product.   The guy stated that he used to be a mortgage broker and lost his entire business in 2008 when the market collapsed.  He was a single divorced dad of 2 and after having been self employed before, had a very difficult time going back to being someone's employee.  A friend of his was doing life insurance and when everyone else in the world was losing their homes, their 401ks, this friend was doing great.  So he went into this, and has been wildly successful.  There is no cold calling involved.  Businesses have already chosen this life insurance company for their employees.  All I'd be doing is driving to the location, talking to the employees, and helping them make choices on their employer funded plan.

I thought, "Holy crap, I could do that.  I just spent the last thirteen years explaining medical benefits to every one on the planet."

The interview started off as twenty people crammed into a room filling out an application.  I was the second person he interviewed.  I told him about what I did at my previous job, how bored I had been at the end (remember I knew by now that this was sales so I didn't care too much if he liked that) and that I had absolutely no experience in life insurance, period.  The guy ended up loving that, and told me that I had "spunk" and wanted me to stay for the second portion of the interview.  It was literally 3 minutes of us chatting, and he decided I was staying.  Fine, I guess.

After all that, there ended up being only four people he chose to keep for the second portion.  Me and three men.  Wow.  Those 16 other people were shown the door, after a three minute interview.  I was kind of intrigued.  What did I say, that those other people did not?

I sat through the power point presentation, listened to this man talk, and I grew more and more hopeful.  Yes, I'd need to get a life insurance certification, to the tune of $250.  Yes, it was sales, but not that annoying person on the phone interrupting you at dinner.  Yes, I'd be self employed and still have no health insurance benefits.  But...the money here seemed so good, I was thinking that I could just BUY my own health insurance, be in charge of my own career and my own insurance policy, and stop waiting for someone to consider me worthy enough to work for their company, for a low unlivable wage.

According to this gentleman, the average salesperson there made $56,000 per year.  I almost choked.  That was 20 grand more than I ever made at the hospital, and that was after 13 years.  He stated that when he started in 2009, his first year was $94,000.  I literally cannot imagine having that kind of money.  And none of it is taxed, it's just $94,000.  Granted, you end up paying taxes every year on your income, but when you make that much money, I imagine that you could afford to put 20% away every week and just send the IRS a nice check every April and go about your business.

So what I am saying is, is that I'm considering being done with the medical field, and going into life insurance.

I never even thought that would be an option for me.  I am not sales-y.  Even with the Jamberry, I am not making a ton of money, although I'm grateful for the 50 bucks I made this week because that's how I'm paying my water bill.

Here's what sounds good about it:
1) flexibility.  The hours are 9-5, M-F.  But he said that he rarely works 40 hours per week, closer to 30.  If his kid has a soccer game, he's going to the soccer game.
2) You make your own hours, but it's within those regular business hours.  Because you're making appointments with businesses, and those are generally their hours.  For example, a company decides to choose this life insurance company for their staff.  And you go to their site to set up, have all the brochures and information available.  And you tell them, "We're going to set up for three weeks, and we'll be here on site on Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 10 to 4."  Then you make appointments with the employees who want to make choices on their benefits, and just chat with them about what they want.  I could definitely do that!
3) Whatever you sell, you get 50%.  I have never worked in sales, but I know that's literally unheard of.  I used to work at a car dealership survey company, and they all made 10% of what they sold.
4) I'm really sick and tired of people WHO DON'T EVEN KNOW ME making decisions about my future.  I want to be in charge of my future, not some random suit who scans my resume and discards because maybe he doesn't like the font, or maybe his ex-wife was named Sarah so he deletes it without reading.  ENOUGH.

Here's what scares me:
1) what if I don't sell anything?
2) That's pretty much it.

So, what do you guys think?  Am I going nuts?  I am just tired, after three months of trying so hard, to keep banging my head on a wall.  I am still applying for other jobs.  But I want financial freedom, I want flexibility, I want to make enough money so my poor husband can retire due to his chronic back issues.  I want to make car and house payments and not be late on my electric bill!  Am I nuts?