Failed

If my kids were depending on me today to protect them, they would have died. End of story.

I blew it. Failed. I dropped the chalupa.

I was sitting at my computer, working away, when Missy came up behind me and said, "Mommy, there's a truck in the driveway." I looked up only to see my brother-in-law, my sister-in-law's estranged husband, storming up my walk. With their hound dog, Charlie. I hung up on my phone call, and ran to the door. It was unfortunately not locked. He opened it just as I got to the door. There was, obviously, no greeting. "Where the f&^% is she?!" he roared. I shut the door in his face, and said, "Sissy, he's here!" Her eyes immediately got huge. She ran to the door to appease him. Meanwhile, I was trying to figure out who was where. Bucket was in his room playing. Tiger was at a friend's house. Missy was standing behind me, terrified of the look and the demeanor of her uncle. I grabbed my cell phone, texted Mr. R that "Jay" had shown up. Then I shoved Missy into my bathroom, and told her to lock the door. The entire time, I can hear Jay screaming at Sissy in our front yard. Nothing but cursing, screaming, and belittling.

I went into our closet. Jumped to get the gun. (Mr. R keeps it up high so the kids can't reach it, but they're all about my height, so that means I can't reach it either.) Dropped the case. Looked at my hands and realized my hands were shaking so bad that I couldn't even open the case. I finally opened it, grabbed the gun, but heard squealing tires. Jay was already gone. Time he was at our house: less than 5 minutes. And I never even got the gun loaded.

You know, I crack jokes about being from Queens all the time. I'm one tough cookie, blah blah blah. Yes, I can hold my own in a basic fight, I'm sure, but introduce weapons and I'm a goner. After Mr. R called me back to calm me down, it suddenly occurred to me that if that had been a regular intruder, like a home invasion, I'd be dead and so would two of the kids. I got scared and blew an opportunity to protect my children, my home, and my sister-in-law.

This is the one thing I was afraid of, when we allowed Sissy to move in with us. She is fine, although I can live without the cursing and watching Jerry Springer throughout the day. But I knew Jay was going to follow her. Jay promised Mr. R that he would "respect" us and our home and not come here. He also promised that he wouldn't call the house, and that he wouldn't bring any drama to our front door. Sissy has lived with us for less than 6 days, and every promise was already broken. Sounds like a winner, doesn't he. I can't imagine WHY anyone would want to leave such a charming gentleman!