Fill Up Your Mug and Sit Awhile

Casting Anxiety

2012-01-31T13:07:00.000-05:00

Hooray, I got my camera back!
Boo, the program which uploads my data and displays my pictures is not working!

I had a bit of a meltdown over the weekend and yesterday. You see, I was rejected for ANOTHER job at the hospital, without the benefit of even an interview. "Crushed" is an excellent word to describe my demeanor. And then my friend Bryan sent me this verse, and I am leaning on it so heavily:

Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7

YES. YES! He cares about me, so I'm casting my anxiety on Him. This morning, after the children left, Mr. R and I made a decision about my career:

One, no more applying for jobs right now. Bucket is still in middle school, and he is still not mature enough to get ready for school on his own, so there is no need to leave him alone in the mornings.

Two, ICD9 (which is the coding style I am certified for) is not even going to be a valid coding system as of October 2013. So, I'm going to order the study materials to pass the new exam for ICD10 instead, and be ready for that. That gives me almost two years to prepare. That also gives Mr. R and I chance to find out if we are going to have a new baby.

Three, by October 2013, Missy will have graduated high school, and only the boys will be left in high school. With both boys in the same school, my life will not be quite as hectic.

So there you have it. I feel SO relieved, like I just figured out something monumental and now I can relax! Let's bring on the babymaking!!!

P.S. Tiger's music teacher will be over on Thursday, hopefully he can fix my computer. It is just doing stupid crap again. Wondering if I should replace laptop at this point.

This Chapped My Hide

2012-01-27T15:25:00.000-05:00

I think today is the kind of day where I walk around perching my fingers above my eyes with that squinty look...mostly because I seem to keep running into people who are purposely trying to annoy me!

1) Doctor office calls me because they want to order a test, but they don't know what the cpt code is for the test. And it wasn't even a fancy test that you don't order a lot of; it was an ordinary test that you could see many, many times per week. I asked the girl who called me if they have a cpt code book, a superbill, or even a cheat sheet that they can keep a regular list of codes handy, and she said curtly, "I don't need it." Well, clearly, YA DO, because you shouldn't be calling me to do YOUR JOB. Ya dig?

2) I had to drive all the way to hubby's work in Sorrento to pick up his check, even though we pay an administration fee of $52 a week and somehow they can't figure out how to deposit his check electronically, so I had to drive to get it because our bank is not open on weekends. So, instead of taking lunch, I drove 45 minutes in the rain to get his check. I waited in front of the receptionist and she was on the phone, so I stood there quietly until she finished. Mid-sentence, she looked up at me and raised her eyebrow, so I assumed she wanted to know why I was there; so I whispered, "I'm here to get his check" and she YELLED AT ME! "Ma'am, I am on the phone with someone and you will have to wait your turn!" Let me tell you; if I had been anywhere except where my husband happens to work, I can assure you I would have walked out of that office with that lady's head in my purse. I bit my tongue and laughed inside when the person she was on the phone with hung up on her (probably because she yelled in his ear!). Then she asked me for my husband's name (he's worked there for 7 years, she still doesn't remember me, whatever!) and then she handed me the wrong check. I handed it back and said, "This isn't his." She then yelled at me again, "YOU SAID JAMES XXXXXX" and finally I said in my very loud New York-accented ticked off voice "I think I know what my husband's name is!" Then she realized that she grabbed the wrong one, and then sees my husband's check and says, "What street do you live on?" I tell her, and she hands me the correct check.

3) Package deals. Let me explain. I get the paper on weekends. However, I only want the Sunday paper. Did you know that it's cheaper for me to get the paper on two days, than one day? I feel so bad for the Saturday paper. I never read it. It goes straight into recycling. Why is is cheaper to get two days of paper than just one? The same for cable/internet service. Do you know how hard it is to find just internet service? Maybe I don't want cable! Maybe I just want to surf the net! What is so wrong with that?

Pffft. Pictures will be back soon. I just needed to vent.

Ego Boost

2012-01-24T10:21:00.000-05:00

This morning, as I sipped my coffee and went over my schedule, I received an instant message from a former coworker in my department, who has moved onto greener pastures, as they say. She asked me if I knew anyone who would be interested in an auth position in her department. Of course I do! Unfortunately, they wanted someone to drive to Orlando every day, and not work from home. I had to decline, but it's nice to be thought of so well. I told her that if they would let me work from home three days a week, I'd drive to Orlando for the other two days. Michelle (my former coworker) said she'd ask the manager (who I happen to know very well, and she has met all my kids so she knows the autism issue is real and not something I'm making up) if they'd be willing to do that. Who knows?

Also: my camera is ready! I can pick it up Saturday. Woo hoo!!!

Skirty

2012-01-22T19:45:00.000-05:00

You guys, I am so lost without my camera. I finally found some skirts! I was at WalMart with the hubs and Bucket and while they were in the guy area (fishing, guns, and bait, yummmm) I meandered over the clothing area. I am not a snob and will totally wear WalMart clothes, but lately, their plus size offerings have consisted of mom jeans and poorly cut tees. So nooo thank you. But I found...SKIRTS! ON SALE YO. And I have no pictures but I assure you, they are kind of cute. They are midi length, patterned skirts, with a slip built in. And guys...$11 each! I wore one today to church and was able to crawl on the ground in the kindergarten room without flashing anyone; and that, my friends, is the definition of a good day. It is a size 16 (I normally wear a 18/20) but it does have an elastic waist. It also has a black stretchy panel around the top (sort of looks like a belt, but it's not maternity, I did check!) so I'm thinking I may be able to use it as maternity wear, should that ever happen. Until then, my top covered it. The one I wore today is white, purple, aqua, and navy geometric shapes. I wore it with an aqua wrap top and a white tank. Don't worry, I was so pleased with my look that I am certain I'll be duplicating the look eventually.

The two other skirts are a brown and tan floral, and another geometric pattern, this time with red, olive green and brown as the colors. I can really see myself wearing these EVERY.SINGLE.DAY in the summer with one of my many tanks and a pair of flip flops. In fact, I may go back and grab two more; there were other colors but I only had $40 on me and so I stuck with the three I liked best.

I just spent 30 minutes going on the WalMart website, plus online to find the skirts, and it's like they don't exist! Don't worry, someday you will see them. Mr. R thought they were cute, modest and pretty. They will definitely be a summer staple.

And thank you for the prayers on Friday. When I finally clocked out on Friday, I was in tears and nearly knocked my chair over just to get away from that desk. I am not excited about tomorrow, but I will do my best to make sure my patients' accounts are squared away properly. I may not like my job, but these patients deserve accountability and I am nothing if not professional. Besides; it's only 5 days to the weekend!

Dying Inside

2012-01-19T10:51:00.000-05:00

People just pray for me. This job is eating away at my soul. I won't go into specifics, but every morning when I clock in, my heart starts to pound and I feel sick inside. If I hadn't signed a contact, I doubt I would be here. And I have about 2 years left. I know, I'm blessed to work from home, it's a decent pay with good benefits, but I dread it, every single day. Either my job needs to change, I need to change, or Jesus needs to come. But something has to give.

Independence

2012-01-15T08:41:00.000-05:00

I spent most of Saturday with Bucket. Missy was at driver's ed and Tiger was earning money by clearing out Mr. R's garage. When I get Bucket alone, he yakks my head off about video games, girls he likes, stuff he wants. I try to listen and not comment too often; I like that he trust me enough to talk that much. I truly think back to times when doctors told me he would never speak, and now I can't get him to SHUT UP.

Most people would not give a second thought to letting a 13 year old boy do certain things, but I still have to think carefully about what he can do. Yesterday, we tried two new things: I had cash to pay for fuel, so I told him to go inside and pay for it. I told him how to walk up to the register and say "$30 on pump six." And he did it! I could tell how pleased he was with himself, so then I let him pump the fuel into my car. He told me that pumping fuel was "man's work" and he did a great job.

Then we went to my mom's house later to pick up a sweatshirt my mom had ordered for Christmas for Missy; it was the wrong size so she sent it back and now it fits. My dad was working on a puzzle and I cannot believe how quickly Bucket honed in on it. My poor dad; he didn't get to finish the puzzle. Bucket loved working on it and my dad, in his wisdom, kicked back and let him finish it. I looked over and him and whispered "Sorry about the puzzle!" and he winked at me and said, "watching this is better." Now I'm thinking I may purchase some puzzles to work on. Tiger loved it too and here I am thinking they've outgrown this kind of thing. Guess I was wrong!

Time for me to get ready for church; getting the boys up is like torture. I just wanted to write this down because I had such a great day with Bucket. He really is an awesome kid!

Up Too Early

2012-01-14T08:42:00.000-05:00

Thanks to Missy taking Driver's Ed for the next 8 weeks on Saturday mornings at 8am, I'm going to be up pretty early. I dropped her off this morning; the girl is so nervous and my reassurance wasn't helping one bit. That car accident in April tore away her self confidence, and unfortunately, I haven't pushed her to drive afterwards like I should have done. Now she's terrified to get behind the wheel; I sure hope her teacher is an understanding person. Driving back, two things struck me:

1) I cannot believe my daughter only has 3 semesters left to school and she graduates from high school! Didn't I just have this child?!?! And who said she was old enough to drive?

2) I miss my dog! Well, maybe not exactly. I think I miss having a dog, period. At least dogs are happy when their owners come home. But we're up to 5 cats at this point and unless we have another baby, I do not want anything else that poops to come into this house. But I was behind a guy in a pickup truck driving home, and his dog had his head out the window, and I laughed. Roscoe LOVED hanging his head out the window to catch some air. And those long ears would flap and pop him in the face. There is something about dogs that make you thing of simple joys. A good meal, a warm bed, and a tummy rub is all anyone ever needs, right?

Anyway, I have a quiet house to myself for at least a few more hours. The boys are still sleeping and Missy is at school. I'm going to tackle the dishes; for some reason, our dishwasher isn't working properly and I just give up; gonna wash it by hand. Glad I bought gloves!

Oh, and one last thing: my absolute confusion over Type 2 diabetes. I've been diagnosed for over a year now, and if nothing else, it ticks me off more now. On Thursday, I had a super healthy dinner. Roasted chicken breast, with salad. Absolutely delicious. Took my meds; blood sugar Friday morning was 141. My goal is under 120. Last night, I had four slices of pizza, a can of Pepsi (well, half, I didn't finish it), completely forgot to take my medications, and my sugar level this morning was 132. My numbers are better when I eat like crap. I don't understand it!

Oh: one more last thing. Ha! Camera should be ready to pick up this Friday. Hoooooray!

Location: Nerdville. Population: Meeeeee!

2012-01-13T17:39:00.000-05:00

I took the time to drop some of Missy's books off at the library. Decided to actually peruse the aisles and I am so glad I did! I found a biography of Laura Ingalls Wilder, and I am nerdily excited to read it. In fact, I left the books in my car when I returned to work, because I knew I'd be tempted to read while working, and that just wouldn't work out.
As soon as I drop her boyfriend off at his house (I swear this kid is here almost 24/7!) I am going to change into my warm jammies, leap into bed, and read!
No sleeping in tomorrow, as Missy has her first drivers ed class at 8am (what a bunch of jerks!). I don't have a ton of money this week, but I may scout around some yard sales since I'm going to be up at the butt crack of dawn anyway.
Do you have any weekend plans?

70 Readers!

2012-01-11T13:05:00.000-05:00

Wow! I checked my blog this morning and found that I have reached my 70th reader. I am so honored...thank you for reading my humble little blog! And welcome!

So Mr. R left this morning for a run to the Carolinas. A perfect first run for a guy who is still dealing with some pain. We probably won't see him for about three weeks. Hopefully by then, he will be completely healed of any other issues. He really has recuperated well, but still feeling some pressure and is moving slowly. We have already "commenced activity" although it was 4 days before we were supposed to do anything. He was insistent to make sure "everything worked" and it did, but I think that slowed down his recovery. Of course, the day we "commenced" was also a day I was ovulating, so I'm trying very hard not to think about anything. I promise, if anything happens, I will let you all know about it! But for now, I'm just doing my usual; working, sleeping, eating.

I'm still waiting on my big camera (my Canon) to get fixed so I can start taking pictures again. I feel awkward without my camera. I miss taking blog pictures and pics of the kids, too. I am also bidding on some skirts on eBay so I can start wearing all these tops I keep collecting. I must have 40 tops which I never wear because I had no skirts to wear with them. I have also tagged some maternity wear just in case I need to start ordering those, too. I LOVE eBay...I always struggled with maternity wear when I was pregnant 17 years ago (eeeeek!) and had really crappy clothes which I didn't like, like tapered stretch pants, huge mens tees, elastic waistband shorts and a dumpy skirt set. Wow, maternity clothes have changed and they're not much different than what I wear now. I am hoping that my maternity style will just rock, if the Lord chooses to bless me with a baby! Since I live in a semi tropical climate, I am only looking at summery items. I have found several cute dresses, but I'm not bidding on anything until I see a + on a test. Until then, I'm not going to snag any items that another plus size lady may need. I can be patient...perhaps! If I end up being due in "winter" (uh today is January 11 and it's like 80 outside) I hope that I can just use my current cardigans to keep my arms warm. I can't imagine needing a coat or anything.

I'm also looking forward to getting to bed early tonight. Despite the lack of "commencement" during most of our vacation, Mr. R still managed to keep me up with his constant 1)snoring 2) talking in his sleep 3) Mr. Grabby Hands (thats what I call it when he can't keep his hands to himself and he gropes me in his sleep.) I am POOPED and I am telling you, I will be in bed by 8:30 tonight, I promise you.

Headache

2012-01-08T20:19:00.000-05:00

I have not worked since December 30; ten glorious days which all belonged to me. I went to Tampa, cleaned my house, slept in, ate heartily, and simply just existed. At 5pm tonight, I suddenly got a crushing headache. Ah, the night before work starts up again; I doubt this is a coincidence. I cleaned my desk, threw out my 2011 calendar, and blew all the crumbs out of my keyboard. I shredded old paperwork, wiped down my monitor, and got the coffee pot ready. The entire time, I thought, "POOOOH! I'M STILL HAVING FUN!!!"

Two advil down, two huge glasses of ice water later, I am feeling somewhat better but still not great. I'm listening to the kids yelling at the TV (Denver vs. Pittsburgh!) and the hum of the dishwasher.

So I told you how on our very first day of vacation, I dropped my camera and broke it. Here are the only pictures I have of our vacation. I pulled them off the memory card. Wish I could share more.

The most popular part of Ybor City is 7th Avenue. It is a neighborhood in Tampa, not an actual city.

Like a lot of places in Florida, a lot of the signs were in Spanish. I can read most of them. I just wish I could speak Spanish!

I adore older architecture. These buildings remind me of being in New York. I'd love to spend more time learning about them, and touring them!

Mr. R is a cigar smoker, which I find mildly disgusting. And since he was going through, well, SCROTUM surgery, I suppose a cigar or two was in order.

Make that more than two. Oh well. As long as he smokes outside and brushes his teeth, I guess I can live with it. Blech.

Home

2012-01-04T21:04:00.000-05:00

We are home. The husband is doing well. He is sitting on the couch with our two sons, watching a movie. Missy is asleep in her room, and I am catching up on laundry, facebook and blogging.

The surgery, according to the doctor, was a success. It took about three hours. Three hours in which I paced, took walks, and watched the same nature documentary twice in the most uncomfortable chairs possible. Mr. R was awake the entire time and talked the doctor's head off. Once the procedure was completed, I was in charge of taking care of my man. I removed his soaked gauze bandages, cleaned him up, and gave him his antibiotics. I brought him dinner, helped him into the bathroom, and, unfortunately, held his jacket while he threw up in the bushes at our hotel.

According to our doctor, we have to wait three weeks before we "commence activity" but I doubt he'll be home. But basically, everything is a go at this point, and now we just have to see if it worked.

Thank you for your prayers; we are both at peace with our decision to have the reversal. I am certainly glad my hubby is not in any real pain right now, and I'm enjoying spoiling my man.

Surgery

2012-01-03T06:58:00.000-05:00

Mr. R will be at the office having surgery in about an hour. He is annoyingly calm, while I am about to bounce off walls. Please be praying for a quick recovery for him, and little pain. I do feel bad for him; I promised him, no more "scrotum" surgery! After this, it will all be on me.

Oh...and we were having a great time in Ybor City (I HAVE to go again, it was awesome!) when I dropped my camera and broke it. So no pictures of this historic event. Facepalm!

I Owe Him Big

2011-12-30T20:09:00.000-05:00

Look at what Mr. R got me for Christmas. By the way, I got him nothing. We promised each other not to buy anything, and then he showed up with this at the last minute. Man. Hard to top it.

Prenatal vitamins = nice nails!

I can't stop staring at my beautiful ring.


I broke my engagement ring years ago. This gold band is the original ring; my husband bought the emerald ring (my birthstone) and had it welded to my old engagement ring. Plus my wedding band is there too, so it looks like I'm loaded with bling.

That man better be careful. People are going to think he loves me and stuff.

Our Vasectomy Story

2011-12-30T19:02:00.000-05:00

Now that we are 4 days away from having the vasectomy reversed, it suddenly made sense to me that I should explain why we had a vasectomy in the first place. After all, this reversal is a huge undertaking, and our insurance doesn't cover it (although it is tax deductible...weird, huh?) I have to go back to a person I was 13 years ago, and this person I used to be, almost doesn't make sense to me.

I guess we should start off when I got married at age 19, to my high school sweetheart. We did not save ourselves for marriage, and were already living together. But I was happy to be his wife. I truly believe that he is someone I'd be friends with, even if I was not married to him. I genuinely LIKE my husband. We had practiced birth control the entire four years we'd been dating (yes, since age 15...go there if you must. I never said I was a saint.) and when I married, I no longer had access to my parent's health insurance. Mr. R was lucky enough at age 21 to have a job with insurance, and I was added on within the month we married. However, I'd had some issues with taking the pill in the past. I gained a lot of weight, and also had some blood clots (also known at DVT) as a teenager.

My senior prom...1993!

My gyn agreed it was no longer safe for me to take them. While we were deciding which method to use, we got pregnant. This is literally within the first month of marriage. I was surprised (I'm not sure why, we were newlyweds after all!) and very happy. And then devastated when I miscarried on October 15, 1994, at about 5 weeks. That weekend, we were moving into our first real apartment and I had been carrying boxes, but nothing very heavy. I cried a lot, and miscarried at home by myself. The gyn then told me to take a few months off to heal, then try again if I wanted...but told me that I'd probably have a difficult time conceiving, and possibly even have fertility issues. Very stressing news for a newly married 19 year old!

Our wedding day...which was not July 15 2010. This is a scanned copy my sis in law has on her fb.

Well, we didn't use any protection, and went about our lives...I felt like crap at Thanksgiving but thought I was getting the flu. Of course, by Christmas, I knew...I was pregnant again. This time, baby was a keeper and I gave birth to Missy in July 1995, 8 days before our 1st anniversary. I was 20 years old. As a teenager, I was never one of those who babysat to make extra cash, so this baby business was all new to me. I like to say I made all my mistakes with Missy. I didn't breastfeed, created monster sleep issues, and worked through most of her infancy. During her first year of life, I tried going back on the pill again, and gained a lot more weight. I threw those pills away, for good! On Missy's 1st birthday, after we put her to bed, I whispered to Mr. R that I wanted another baby. Tiger was conceived that very night...their birthdays are exactly 9 months apart. I LOVED being Tiger's mom...I nursed him, co-slept, and was home with him and Missy during the day. I think I hit my parenting groove. I had the perfect family...a boy and a girl! I was DONE. Now, please don't think I didn't love being Missy's mom. But I was so new to the whole "baby thing" that I spent more time researching and being worried, that I missed out on having more fun with her.

Family portrait, Christmas 1999.

When Tiger was about 6 months old, my milk started drying up. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. Luckily for me, Tiger was a very happy baby who easily transitioned to bottles with formula when I went dry. Too poor to go to the doctor, I went about my business. I was waitressing at night at IHOP to make extra cash when the kids were sleeping. On Thanksgiving night 1997, it was slow and I was bored. One of my coworkers made a comment about my normally dry coarse hair being quite oily all of a sudden. I literally shot up in fear...having oily hair is a pregnancy symptom of mine. I took my meager tips, drove to Walgreens to buy a test, and drove home as fast as I could. Mr. R was sitting in the living room holding Missy when I ran in and hit the bathroom. It was true...pregnant, again, at age 22. I walked out of the bathroom in tears, and showed Mr. R the test. I admit, he kept it all together while I cried. I loved being a mom, but all I could think of was...how in the world can we afford another baby?

My family did not congratulate me when I told them I was pregnant again. In fact, I can clearly remember the looks of disgust we received. We became one of "those people." Those white trash people who have more kids than they can afford. I became obsessed with how we appeared in public; driving our $500 hoopty with mismatched car seats and me with cheap flip flops because I couldn't afford nicer shoes. We did only activities which were cheap or free; church functions, the park, the library, the beach. Bucket was born in July 1998, when I was 23 years old. I worked two nights before he was born, and he was 9 days late. I went back when he was a week old. I needed the tip money.

Our anniversary in August of 1998 was quiet. We had been married four years and already had three children. My mother lived in New York at the time. I remember her calling me to wish me a happy anniversary, and then she dropped the bomb: "For your anniversary, I'd like to pay for (Mr. R) to get a vasectomy." I wish now I had stood up to her. I wish I had opened my Bible and saw what the Lord says about children and blessings. Instead, I listened to my mother tell me how poor we were (she was right) and how three children are enough (according to who? My mom happens to be the third child in a family of seven!) and that I was damaging my body (I think the pills did that more than the babies, but whatever. Hard to prove.) So we called our insurance, and discovered that a vasectomy was a $100 copay. We made the appointment for the week before Labor Day. And my mom mailed us a check for $100. I'd just like to point out there that a vasectomy cost less than a year of birth control pills! I was 23, Mr. R was 25, and we ended our fertility. Just like that. I really don't even remember discussing it much. We were poor and this was a cheap solution to our "problem."

I think for the first five years after the vasectomy, I was grateful. Grateful because Bucket was diagnosed with autism, and I have no idea how I could have managed a baby when Bucket was doing so poorly. I got the job at the hospital, and Mr. R became a truck driver. We bought a house. We did all those grown up things. When Bucket was around 6, I suddenly wanted a baby SO BADLY. I cried over our lack of fertility. I even looked into adoption, but it was very expensive. With a child with autism, fostering seemed out of the question. So I babysat whenever I could, and volunteered in my kid's classes. But it just didn't seem like enough. I brought up the subject of reversal, and Mr. R was understandably opposed. I moped. I tried not to nag. I prayed that God would change my husband's heart to be open to more children, no matter how they came. Eventually, Mr. R decided that he also wanted more children. But it still took a few years to make appointments and come up with the money. But now, we are here...and with three "older" children, it does seems like we're starting over, but if the Lord decides to bless us in spite of our earlier mistakes, I will be so grateful.

To anyone who is considering permanent sterilization, I beg you to pray over it, and really, really talk it over. I won't be so bold as to say sterilization is a mistake, because everyone has their story. But consider not using a permanent solution to what may be a temporary situation; while I can't say we're rich, we certainly do not have the financial problems we had back in the 90s.

Do You Bother With Resolutions?

2011-12-21T15:57:00.000-05:00

Ahhh, the year 2012 is almost here! My hubby asked me for my resolutions, and I was surprised. It's not something I really do, and if he does it, I'm not aware. But then I thought about it, and I decided to make two resolutions for next year!

1) I'm going to go the beach once a month, whether the kids come with me or not. I'm sure I've mentioned that I consider myself a real beach bum. I only went twice last year...twice! I live 20 minutes away! There is something so wrong with that. So I've decided that I'm going to commit to a monthly visit to the ocean. And I'm going to look at the calendar and pick my days out very soon.

2) I'm committing to becoming debt free, although that won't happen completely in 2012. We don't have a ton of debt, praise the Lord. We have a) $800 on our Firestone (car repair) card, thanks to needing two new tires in November. We already had $400 still on it, and then we doubled it. For January-June, I propose paying $150 per month, and it will be paid off in June. I normally pay $50. Then, we have my car, which is about $9000. Once we pay off the Firestone card, I'm going to put the $150 toward my $250 payments, and make $400 payments until it's paid off...hopefully in July 2014. Then all we have left are student loans and the house! We have no other credit cards, and I am quite happy about that!

Other update:
We have the money ready for the reversal. We are scheduled for the reversal in less than two weeks! I think we're both starting to get nervous. He for obvious reasons...and me because I feel bad of what my poor hubby is about to go through. But the other night, we laid in bed, and talked about baby names. My heart feels so full. I sure hope the Lord chooses to bless us with at least one more little one to love!

Salsa

2011-12-11T16:01:00.000-05:00

There is a lady who is the sister of a church member; she makes THE BEST SALSA EVER. So good that I drove to a CVS in Sanford and met her in the parking lot to exchange money for salsa. I have it bad, what can I say?


1) The best salsa ever. 2) I use my fancy white tea cups to hold salsa. 3) I have a Hanukkah tablecloth.

This is what I wore to church today:


I just bought this teal maxi skirt at Avenue on Wednesday for $19.99. Before you say, Wow, that is awfully summer for December, it was 83 today. And I wish Avenue had ten more of these in different colors because I'd buy every one of them. My favorite part? A built in slip in the same color which goes to the knees. And an elastic waist so I can eat more salsa. The top is something I picked up at Goodwill at least a year ago. I'm wearing a teal tank under it because you can see my bra through the lace panel, and that's just no good at church!

The kitties decide to photobomb. Nutmeg is the one staring at the camera; she is in heat right now and driving us crazy. She has an appointment on 12/23 to get fixed. Cohiba is the one mooning my readers right now.

Black is Slimming

2011-12-10T10:42:00.000-05:00

I'm not as thin as these pictures make me look. I understand why so many big girls wear black. I look lean, taller than usual, and very non lumpy. Still, I prefer wearing more color than this. I was going to a church event Friday night and the room they were keeping it in tends to stay ice cold. It was a good call, because I saw many women shivering, but I felt comfortable.

I bought this cardigan on eBay...at least a year ago, and this is my first wearing. I wasn't sure what to do with a sleeveless cardigan. And I would not have bought it had I know it had no sleeves. It is black and grey, and I just didn't know how to wear it. But I like this.

I wore shoes and socks because I desperately need a pedicure! This is the only pair of pants I own that are comfortable. But I don't like wearing them because they make my butt look enormous (well, my butt is enormous, so I guess that makes sense.) The cardigan helped cover my tukkus, but didn't make me sweat. I guess I'll keep it!

Day Off

2011-12-07T07:19:00.000-05:00

I'm more excited than a girl should be, but I have the day off today! I was short by 7.5 hours for the year of our minimum requirement of days off. So I was told to take today off...at first I was annoyed because that means Thursday and Friday, I am going to be slammed. But instead of thinking about tomorrow, I'm simply going to enjoy today!

I made a 9am appointment with my pcp. Then I have to run down to Sanford to the cell phone store to fix my cell; I can't even begin to describe what a pain in the butt my cell phone service has been lately. I *was* going to go to the beach, but my mind won't be able to relax knowing what a mess my house is, so instead I plan to come home and clean. I know it's not the most exciting day off, but I will feel so much better having three major things crossed off my list; health, phones and house. I'm also hoping to head into Avenue (a plus size store) to find a slip or some type of foundation garment. I've got a few dresses at home I can't wear because my undergarments are not quite right and I look lumpy-dumpy. If I can't find what I want, I'll be by the mall and stop by there. I also want to head over to Target because I have a gift card, and I need a yoga mat. I've been doing Kettleworx workouts and it requires being on the ground. I have wood floors and I keep slipping, so a mat is needed. I also want to head to the salon to get my eyebrows waxed. With my vision, keeping them plucked is getting harder and once my glasses are on, I notice missed spots.

Mr. R might be home again for the weekend, so maybe he will come to the beach with me. I'd rather do that, anyway.

So as you can see, I have a very busy day planned ahead of me. Once I get home from all this, I plan to clean my little heart out. I'll be putting on Christmas music, and hitting the kitchen first. I'll be doing laundry the entire time. Should be a very productive day!

A Beautiful Day In Central Florida

2011-12-04T18:04:00.000-05:00

I particularly hate living in Florida in the summer. But winter? It's so nice out! Today was 80 degrees, slightly overcast, and just lovely being outside. Here we are at Cranes Roost Park in Altamonte Springs, just north of Orlando. It's just me and the boys, Missy was at a friend's house.

Checking out the beautiful fountain.

Did NOT want his picture taken.

Ignored me as I took his picture.

Trying to run from me, as I take pictures.

"We hate you, Mom."

Luckily, they were willing to take a few pictures of me. Which is when I realized that my hair looks like crap and I need to wax my eyebrows, stat.

I thought I looked nice...but I see that I was wrong.

Today is Ginger's due date! Take a few laps around the lake, maybe that will help.

Beautiful light, beautiful nature.

Don't all lakes have 40 foot Christmas trees?

I AM Thankful! Really I Am!

2011-12-03T10:27:00.000-05:00

Normally, end of November is slow at the hospital, because who wants to have surgery over a major holiday? Well, I guess most people didn't mind this year. My GOODNESS I've been busy, I even worked the day after Thanksgiving and normally, that would be a half day; nope, I worked a full day and was exhausted! So here is the rest of my list:

November 22: I'm thankful for this wonderful house. To many people, it would be a "starter home" but I love it's coziness. Sure, I wish it were a bit bigger, but I know many people don't have a home, and so I am content.

November 23: I am thankful for the doctor who will be doing our reversal procedure, Dr. Doug Stein out of Tampa!

November 24: I am thankful for Thanksgiving! It is truly my favorite holiday. While I love Christmas and Easter and 4th of July, this is my favorite because I don't have to buy presents (well, except my mom, as her birthday is 11/21) and I love turkey and football.

November 25th: I'm thankful for football! Despite being a girly-girl (as my husband describes me, I don't really see myself as one.) I love sports! Baseball and football are my favorite, and I am excited because Orlando is bringing a hockey team back. I love hockey!

November 26th: This year would have been my grandmother's 81st birthday. She died of emphysema when I was 18 years old. I miss her SO MUCH...she had seven children, my mom was the 3rd. My kids would have been her first great-grandchildren. Out of all my cousins, only my cousin Brandon has any children. He also has three, and they're all little, under the age of 5.

This is my grandma in the mid 1940s. Her name is Josephine. Isn't she gorgeous? She was a natural redhead...none of us grandchildren have red hair, it's kind of a bummer.

November 27th: I am thankful for layaway at Walmart and at the music store. No Black Friday for this girl. NO WAY.

November 28th: I am grateful for Mr. R's job which keeps our family fed, and our lights on.

November 29th: I am grateful for the ministry of Dave Ramsey; we are almost completely debt free and are working on building our savings!

November 30th: I'm really glad for the end of this list. Phew.

Seriously, What is Wrong With Me?

2011-11-21T10:26:00.000-05:00

So, I've been gone for ten days. I thought about blogging every single day, and just couldn't do it. Been tired, aggravated, and just not in the mood. But I'm still going to come up with *gulp* ten things I'm grateful for, right now!

November 11th...I am so grateful for troops who protect our country; past and present.
November 12th...I am grateful for weekends!
November 13th...I am grateful for my church family. I've met so many wonderful people there who I just love!
November 14th...I am grateful for my job. Yes, really. I work with some very good people and I am so glad for the opportunity to work from home.
November 15th...I am grateful for the teachers my children have. Honestly, I wouldn't want to be a public school teacher...what a thankless job! So I try to be gracious whenever I come into contact with those who deal with my kiddos on a regular basis.
November 16th...I am grateful for the supposed cooler season we normally get...today it's going to be 84. Let me get my parka.
November 17th...I am grateful I live somewhere where food is plentiful and I can choose what I want to eat. Many people don't have that option.
November 18th...I am thankful for the salsa this lady at church makes. I've eaten five jars in less than two weeks, and I just bought two more jars.
November 19th...I am thankful for my children! True, they drive me crazy and leave a whole lot of mess, but I love them dearly.
November 20th...I am thankful for music. I love to listen to music throughout the day as I work.
November 21st...I am thankful for modern appliances which allow me to cook and do laundry throughout the day while I work. If not for them, I'd have to hire a maid!

I'll try to do better this week...been crazy lately.

Gratitude Day 10

2011-11-10T10:34:00.000-05:00

Today I am incredibly grateful for the power of prayer. I received a phone call this morning from a friend regarding my two eldest children; apparently they were both boasting to a friend that they are no longer believers, and consider themselves atheists. To say I am shocked is an understatement, as I've raised my children in the church their entire lives. I immediately called Mr. R to tell him this, and we will be making some changes around the house, one of which includes cutting off our cable TV and requiring church attendance on Sundays, and possibly Wednesday nights (I had been slacking in this area.) If we don't attend church on Wednesdays, I will be starting my own Bible study with the kids in the house.

Devil, you may try to take my children, but you will not win. My house is covered in the blood of Jesus and my children belong to Him. I intend to be on my knees over this situation because my kids and their souls are absolutely precious to me. The world will not win them.

Gratitude Day 8 and Day 9

2011-11-09T10:02:00.000-05:00

Whoops. I forgot about my gratitude post yesterday! Well, no one's perfect, right? Well, these two gratitude posts are related to each other anyway, so I guess it works out that I'm posting them together.

I want to say that I'm thankful for my body. Despite the fact that I don't feed it as well as I should, am overweight, have awful eyesight...it treats me well. I can walk, jump, run, type, and I'm rediscovering my muscles. My heart beats, my lungs breathe, my brain functions...how blessed am I! I have strong feet and legs, a butt that won't quit, a uterus which birthed three children, breasts that fed those children, arms which can hug, snuggle, hold groceries and babies. I have hands which type, therefore supporting my family, which make meals, can sew, draw, paint, take pictures. I have a mostly strong back, ears that can hear, eyes that can still see (thank you, glasses!) and hair which people envy. Yes, my body is a gift and it's my job to love it!

Which leads me to what I'm thankful for next: exercise! I have not always loved exercise, and I still can't say that I love it. But I am thankful that I'm getting back on that bandwagon. I have kept up on my running for a few months now...getting better at it. Now I started Kettleworx and my goodness it is kicking my butt, but I can feel changes. Hoping to lose some weight before I (hopefully) get pregnant next year!

Gratitude Day 7

2011-11-07T19:28:00.000-05:00

On a Monday, I find it especially apropos to choose COFFEE! I am a coffee lover. I mean, I. LOVE. COFFEE. I like the way it smells, I love it's taste, I like how it makes me feel. I like iced coffee, espresso, lattes...but my favorite way to have coffee is to brew a strong cup of Kona and add half and half. I go through a 1/2 gallon of half and half every two weeks. I'm ADDICTED. It's so bad that when we run out of half and half, my kids say we're having a CODE WHITE and I will knock people down to get to Publix to buy more. I will give up snacks, dinner, and paper towels before I give up my two to three cup a day habit.

This morning, I got dressed to go for my run. I ground the beans, measure the water, turned the coffee pot on, and left. When I came back, I was tired and sweaty but all I wanted was my coffee. I stood in the kitchen, kicked my Nikes off, and happily sighed as I sipped its warmth. No sugar for me in my coffee, and I was like that even before I was diagnosed with diabetes. Luckily, I haven't had to skip my habit, although my physician says I should choose decaf...but I don't even understand the point of decaf!

However, I don't just love coffee on Mondays. I have it every day. I had it when I was pregnant. I've had it when I am sick. One of my favorite things in the world is to go out with a friend, order a coffee, and sit and chat. Even Mr. R and I do that! What's funny is, my mom and sister do not drink coffee. I don't know if my biological dad did. You know who I learned my habit from? My stepmom, Pam! I was 14 when my little sister was born, and I spent three weeks with them the summer Kristin was born. Pam taught me how to brew coffee, as she was up nursing the baby a lot. That was my first experience with babies up at night; I learned to love the dark brew pretty quickly.

Gratitude Day 6

2011-11-06T18:19:00.000-05:00

Today, I am grateful for the end of Daylight Savings time. I personally think changing the clock is STOOOPID. I would rather leave it at one or the other...and I don't care which. Grateful for the extra hour of sleep (and you know that's what I did!) but I will be pretty ticked off come March when it switches back again. Sigh...ridiculous.

Gratitude Day 5

2011-11-05T09:02:00.000-04:00

Today, I am grateful for my mom.
Cliche, maybe. But with my father being absent, and then my sister's father coming in and out of our lives from time to time, my mom was my rock. She was so much fun; she took us to parks, and roller skating. We did lots of crafting, like sewing, cooking, baking, coloring. My mom had issues in school with being "slow" as one her report cards said...but she's super smart. I'm pretty sure that if my mom were in school in modern times, she'd be diagnosed with dyslexia...she is forever mixing up letters and numbers. She graduated high school, but barely. Because of this, my mom insisted that my sister and I be exposed to books very young. We lived three blocks from a library and we went at least weekly. You know what I remember most about our library...the librarian was named Sarah Miller, just like me! We loved her so much, my sister and I would run in to hug her.
My sister and I were both voracious readers, and are to this day. One of our favorites was the Little House on the Prairie series. Fiction, books about the ocean (we lived on the ocean, so this was our world) animal books, biographies...we sucked it all in. One of my happiest days was when I was old enough for my first library card; I practiced signing my name so it would look nice on my card.
My mom kept a clean home, brought us to church, and loved us so much that she would skip meals in order to make sure we had enough food. I remember when I was about 8 or 9, she was dating a guy (I don't remember his name) and he bought her an expensive leather coat. My mom didn't have a good coat, and living in New York, it would have been appreciated. One day Mom came home crying because she had lost the coat on the subway. Her boyfriend was angry and yelled at her. I think they broke up just a few weeks later. I didn't find out until we had moved to Florida that my mom hadn't lost the coat. She took it to a consignment shop and sold it, then went to the thrift store to buy my sister and I a few bags of used clothing to get us through another winter.
That kind of love signifies to me how much my mother loves me. She is an amazing woman. And when Ken died last month, she was on vacation but still took time to listen to me cry on the phone. I am 36 years old, and I still need my mom. In fact, she is coming over in an hour and I need to get off this computer so I can do the dishes and get the kettle on. She's going to want her "cuppa tea" and it is my honor to make it for her. I love my mom!

Gratitude Day 4

2011-11-04T18:23:00.000-04:00

I haven't run out of ideas yet! Today, I'm grateful for technology. I know what you're probably thinking...whaaaa??? Yes! I can't even imagine how truckers wives ran their lives before cell phones. My hubby and I speak with each other sometimes 10 times a day! I think I talk to him more when he's in his truck than when he is home! Not only that, but today he called me, lost. He doesn't have a GPS in his truck (truck GPS's are around $1000) so he called me and I google mapped him out of his abyss. Ahhh, the knowledge is right at your fingertips! Because TRUST ME, you don't want me to find anything with a regular map. You're better off wandering around in a circle than using me as a navigator!

Wanna see what I did last week?

This is what I wore to a department meeting. Those are two earrings holding my top together. And I'm ticked because I lost one!

I glared at the papparazzi...

I went carb crazy at the bake sale...

I managed to avoid these delectable goodies...

But I ate the entire jar of large salsa. By myself. In one day. I'm not even ashamed.

I made these delicious (and way too sweet) raspberry sandwich cookies...

And I made these amazing orange marmalade cookies, too!

I did eat some caramel and mocha fudge. Sigh. It was good.

And I got to babysit Miss Olivia!

My arms need a baby in them!

And I did a whole lot of this. Have you?

Gratitude Day 3

2011-11-03T19:26:00.000-04:00

SLEEP. I am talking about perfect temperature. Clean sheets. Perfect pillows. PJs which are not too tight, not too warm, and won't give wedgies. (by the way...as much as I love dresses and skirts, I DO NOT LIKE nightgowns. They ride up while I sleep and then I feel like my butt is hanging out and I do not like the idea of accidentally mooning my kids if they walk into my room, so I stick to PJ bottoms.) No TV blaring, no radio, just the whir of a fan, me and my bed. No alarm clock, no bad dreams, no reason to get up in the morning except my natural body clock waking me when I'm good and ready. I...LOVE...SLEEP. I tend to feel sorry for people who tell me they only need 4 to 5 hours of sleep per night. Pity, really. Beds are warm and comfy and so pleasant. If I were any animal, I'd be a cat. They sleep a lot. I envy them.

I am grateful for evenings when I get to fall asleep in my husband's warm arms. I'm also grateful for the nights when he's not here, and I get the bed (and remote) to myself. I am so blessed that I don't tend to suffer with insomnia. But on the nights that I have, I can completely relate to those who suffer with it on a regular basis. I really love my daily schedule which allows me to get into bed by 10pm for the most part. When I talk to people who brag about staying up until 4am, I'm not jealous. I wonder what's wrong with them. I figure if someone is up at 4am, they either have a newborn, or a crack addiction. Or a 3rd shift job.

Last night was one of those nights when I actually prepared for a good night of sleep. Mr. R finally left on a run to NC (phew...it's getting tight around here again.) I fluffed the sheets. Rearranged pillows. My kids had no school today (standardized testing for grades other than theirs, so I kept them home instead of sending them in to school so they can sit in one classroom for five hours being quiet.) So I didn't set my alarm. Instead, I rolled over, went to sleep, and woke up on my own at about 6:30. I had about 8.5 hours of uninterrupted sleep. It was heavenly!

Gratitude Day 2

2011-11-02T12:47:00.000-04:00

Today I want to say that I'm grateful to have such a wonderful man in my life, Mr. R. He loves the Lord, is a hard worker, loves being a dad. He does laundry, dishes, he can cook, he gardens and will protect us to the death. Our kids simply adore him; they still clamor around him and yell "Daddy, Daddy" when he comes home. He also grew up with no father figure; but instead of using that as an excuse to be an absent dad, he learned from it and is now such a wonderful father. As he gets older, I only find him sexier. He truly is my best friend. I call him when I'm upset, or happy, or just want to tell him what I am making for dinner. Here are ten things I love about Mr. R:

1) he encourages me in my walk with the Lord.
2) he refills my vitamin tray when he's home
3) he will make me an omelet with green peppers even though he hates the smell of them
4) when I am sick (and he happens to be home) he will take over all household duties; there is no such thing as "women's work" to him, he does it all!
5) he compliments me when he likes what I'm wearing
6) and he will tell me if he doesn't like what I'm wearing, but not in a mean way.
7) we made three gorgeous kids together!
8) he is such a hard worker; even when he has time off work, he rarely just sits. He is always doing something.
9) he is not afraid to be silly or romantic with me, even in front of other people.
10) he loves ME...which I like. A lot!

Gratitude Journal

2011-11-01T21:05:00.000-04:00

So I've seen many facebookers declare the month of November "Gratitude Month" and for every day, they're going to say something that they are grateful for. I think this is a wonderful idea, but I'm going to do it here on my blog instead of on fb.

For my very 1st post, I want to say that I'm grateful for the cross. To think that Jesus would die for ME...and he would have done it for just me, and not all of humanity....humbles me completely and warms the very depth of my soul. I am so blessed that Jesus is not some guy in a storybook, or a myth, but a living Savior who cares about my every issue. Even during my despair after my father's death, I knew He was there for me. Jesus, I love YOU so much!

The Email I Needed!

2011-10-24T07:56:00.002-04:00

I got a call back for a coding job! Even if it doesn't materialize, just to have good news in my inbox has put a huge grin on my Monday morning face!

It's Still Hot Enough for Sleeveless Dresses

2011-10-23T14:13:00.001-04:00

I've worn this one before. I actually have two new, very cheap dresses which I'd like to debut. One needs a black tank worn underneath, which is dirty right now. The second needs snaps sewn into the neckline so I'm not arrested for public indecency. I'll be taking care of both situations (laundry and sewing) this week so I can wear them soon. But no worries; I don't mind "remixing" (i.e., re-wearing an outfit I've worn before.) because frankly, if I like something enough to buy it, I usually want to wear it more than once. Plus I don't have a ton of closet space so remixing it is.

This is what I wore today:

I do have feet. Tiger is not into my photography.

I'm thinking about getting a nose job. For real.

Off to go worship the Lord! Hope you're having a great Sunday!

Moving On...

2011-10-19T09:11:00.000-04:00

I'm done doing "sad father" posts. I promise, the last one was the LAST ONE and I will be moving on with my usual self. Mr. R is coming home unexpectedly today. I have every intention of fully melting into his arms, letting him comfort me, having a good dinner and sleeping next to my best friend. Then I'm going to finally finish decorating my dining room and front door, taking the kids to get pumpkins, and enjoying some autumn weather...it's going to get into the 50s at night!

The Only Time

2011-10-17T19:00:00.000-04:00

The only time he ever came to visit me. I might be 9 years old. He stayed for maybe an hour. And I was so happy to see him, too.

I'm Doing Better

2011-10-16T19:28:00.000-04:00

I cried for two, nearly three days straight. My father is dead, my biological father is dead. No more chances to fix anything, no more time for me to try and get to know him. Our history is now DONE. I'm sad, but I am finally at peace because 1) I forgave him, on the phone, and he heard it. 2) I did everything I could, and maintained my own sense of honor. At this point, there is nothing else to do except rest in the family I do have; the family who has loved and always accepted me, and enjoy my church family. Plus...I always, always, ALWAYS have a Heavenly Father who loved me before I was even born. He will NEVER leave me and I have comfort.

So...before my father died, I was working on decorating my dining room. My dining room is the very first room you walk into when you walk in my door, so it was important to me. I have a few before shots:

We use this table non-stop. You can see I have my decorations, laptop, purse, coupons, drinks, and all of Mr. R and Tiger's music equipment is behind it.

We didn't spend a ton of money on this set, and I'm glad. Because the kids wrecked it. We have to recover the chairs, with a fabric that is NOT WHITE.

Music books, music cords, iPods...we are the musical family.

Look what the kitten did to one of our chairs! I have no idea how to fix this.

My (undusted) china cabinet. I did buy that cute little scarecrow at WalMart for $8! Missy named her "Autumn." We're so original. And Nutmeg the kitten keeps attacking her.

I am in the process of decorating this room and will show it to you when it's all done, which I'm hoping will be by this upcoming weekend. I didn't buy anything "Halloween"-ish because I much prefer autumn like stuff which I can use for three months; September, October, November. I'm that cheap.

No full length shots today, but I did manage a few pictures:

Don't tell my extra chin...but you're starting to disappear! Buh bye, sucka!!!

It looks like I'm winking, but I'm really not. I think.

One of my favorite coffee mugs.

So I took my new bangs and did a swoopy side bang and I'm totally loving it!


Time to color hair again. Those grays love to creep in at the temples.

And, last but not least, the perfect way to make someone feel better:

I got me some baby love. This is Olivia; Missy's best friend had a baby last week and I got some snuggle time. No pics of me, it was the day after my father died and I looked red and swollen. Maybe next time.

Mother

2011-10-13T15:00:00.000-04:00

I stood at the sink washing dishes last night, tears streaming down my face. My oldest son, Tiger, who is now about four inches taller than me, came up behind me and hugged me. "I love you, Mom." I stood there, hands in soapy water, sobbing, as my little boy who is bigger than me held me. "I wish I could say something to make you feel better, but I don't know what this feels like," he admitted.
I turned to him and said, "Son, I want you to know that in order for me to feel like a success as a mother, I need to have taught you only two things. Do you want to know what those two things are?" He nodded.
"I want you to know that Jesus loves you, that He is your Savior. Two, I want you to know that I love you, and that nothing you do can ever separate my love from you." He looked surprised and said "I know both of those things, Mom!"
I said to him, "I didn't have the last one, hon. I knew my dad never loved me. I knew, even as a little girl, that he chose another family over me. I laid in bed at night wondering if maybe if I had better grades, or was prettier, or maybe if I did my chores better, maybe my Daddy would come back. I wondered why my mom went hungry some nights so I could eat. I thought daddies took care of their little girls. I wondered why I never had new clothes, or why I had to wear shoes that sometimes hurt my feet because they were too small. I wondered why I couldn't afford to do after school sports, or have birthday parties, or go on vacations. I wondered why our church paid for Christmas, and not my father. Son, for a child to know that her father doesn't love her, does SO MUCH DAMAGE to her soul, to her psyche, and touches every relationship afterwards. So yes, I am partially crying because now this relationship will never be mended, but I'm also crying because I know your father and I broke the cycle, and that you will never know what it feels like to not know a father's love. And that, my sweet son, is worth crying for."

Good Bye

2011-10-12T16:59:00.000-04:00

He died today. My biological father passed away of a massive heart attack, sitting on the couch watching TV. He was 58 years old. In the end, it was not the diabetes, the cancer, or the depression that killed him, but his sad, sick heart.

This is my biological father at a family wedding back in 2010. I didn't attend.

Yes, I'm crying, but it's not because I loved him. I feel the sense of loss because we never truly made up. I refused to call him, and at the very end, he never heard my voice again. We were in e-mail contact, but we hadn't spoken in over two weeks, because I just didn't know what to say to this man...this stranger. His DNA, his features, his looks, his blood, courses through my veins AND I DO NOT KNOW HIM. And I never will. I also know now that he died at a fairly young age, of very poor health. I don't want to die when I'm 58. I want to have many happy years as a mother, grandmother, great grandmother, with my husband, serving God. I don't want this unhappiness to be my future.

I will not be going to a funeral. Funerals are for loved ones left behind, and I was not a loved one. I was a left behind, forgotten, spit on, second-class one in his life. He had two children who he loved, and then he had me. I bore his last name, I bore his mother's name, and he still DIDN'T LOVE ME. He threw me aside like a piece of trash and here I am still crying over this man who returned my wedding invitation back to me when I tried to reach out to him.

I will be back soon. Not sure when. Love and peace to you all. If you have loved ones, please tell them today that they mean something to you.

25 Years

2011-10-09T09:08:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, our family celebrated my mom and stepdad's 25th wedding anniversary. Funny story I didn't find out until many years later: Mom and George actually got married on July 9th, in a private ceremony, because George (my stepdad) was not a citizen at the time, and he was about to get deported. So they married on July 9th secretly, and then had the wedding ceremony they'd been planning on October 11, 1986. I didn't know until many years later. One of my aunts was convinced that George was only marrying my mom to get a green card. 25 years later, I'm guessing he proved her wrong!

I woke up this morning to get ready for church, and Tiger is nasty sick. He came into my room around 8:30pm last night and tried to curl up with me. I gave him two teaspoons of tussin and put him to bed. This morning I woke up around 7am and I can hear him coughing; he sounds like a barking seal. I went into his room and when I cracked open the door, he cried out "Oh Mom, please let me keep sleeping!" I touched his forehead and he's burning up; I'm guessing between 100-101 fever. Then I walk over to Bucket and he's sleeping on the couch (his usual) and he is shivering. I check his head; the same. Probably less than Tiger, I'm guessing a 99-100 fever. I grab another blanket and cover him up. Then I check on Missy; she feels fine, but her kitten kept playing on her head all night and she's exhausted. So I take the kitten, and shut her door. Now the kitten is driving me crazy, instead. So, it appears I am staying home from church. I am making coffee, and will read my Bible instead. I said just a few days ago that I miss being in the Word, and I guess I now have the opportunity to get cozy and dive right in.

Oh. I cut my hair. Again. But this time, I did it myself!

I have bangs!


Look, I eat salad!

Well, my coffee is ready. Time to find my glasses, grab the inspired Word of God, and spend some time with Him this morning. Have a blessed day, friends!

I Just Can't Keep Up

2011-10-07T12:06:00.000-04:00

I get the distinct feeling that unless I hire a chef, a maid, or a clone, that it's going to be this way for quite a while. I feel like I'm drowning in STUFF TO DO, and I don't like it...not one bit! Even this weekend, there is literally not one part of it that is not planned out. Of course, it's filled with things I like, so hard to complain there. On Saturday afternoon, my mom and stepdad are throwing an anniversary party for themselves. I can't believe they've been married 25 years already! I'll definitely be taking some pictures of that. On Sunday, we have church, and then I'm supposed to stay afterwards for a student leaders meeting. Which I suppose would be nice except I haven't been faithfully attending Wednesday night services like I said I would. Last Wednesday afternoon, when I reminded the kids that we had church, the sad response of tired kids made the decision for me. We stayed home. I think Missy went to bed at 7pm. Tiger may have followed suit a half hour later. I played chess with Bucket and just talked. It was nice.

For the first time in six weeks, Mr. R finally got paid today (thank you, thank you, THANK YOU LORD) so I am going to go grocery shopping and catch up on this enormous stack of bills sitting on my desk. I also have a filthy desk to clean, my bathroom needs a good scrubbing, and I really want to bake some pumpkin bread and muffins for the kids to use as snacks next week.

To my own dismay, I find myself not spending any time in The Word except on Sundays. I ~~feel like a~~ am a complete hypocrite. Been done with college for 6 months now and have not gotten any better about my Bible reading, although I did add exercise to my daily schedule, and have been mostly faithful with that for about two months. I feel like I have scheduled myself into oblivion and know I need to add this as well.

Work has stressed me out completely. I applied for another job at the hospital, even though I said I wouldn't. And so far, I've head nothing, which could be a good thing. The post is now closed, which means that there are can be no further applicants. When I click on the post, it says that my application is under consideration, which is the furthest I've gotten so far in this application process here at the hospital. I am thinking about going out this weekend and purchasing a suit in case I get an interview next week. All I own are dresses, which are really great, but not interview-ish or businessy. They're pretty. Pretty does not equal interview, in my eyes. And I will get a pant suit to hide my leg tattoo. Gotta play the game, I guess.

I just re-read this (which, by the way, has taken me about an hour to type out because I'm working and I'm doing this while on hold and listening to bad music) and it sounds whiny, which I swear isn't like me at all. I like being known for my cheerful, quirky, and upbeat attitude. But when something which takes 40 hours of your week is a drain, it drains more than that 40 hours. It drains YOUR LIFE.

Trying to keep my mind off my troubles, I've decided to decorate the front porch/door area for Halloween. I usually don't, but I've decided to give out candy this year. With my youngest being 13, even if they decide to go trick or treating, don't really need me to go with them. They can stay within a four block radius and go by themselves. I've found that doing something creative keeps my brain happy and not thinking about insurance. But I won't be doing scary Halloween stuff, like witches or spiders. I'm going to keep it harvest and autumn related instead so I can keep it all up until Thanksgiving. Maybe I'll even take some before and after shots. Yeah, a project. That's what I need. A project!

To All Moms and Dads Out There

2011-10-04T11:23:00.000-04:00

As some of you may know, Mr. R didn't work much during the month of September; to the point where I am having to call some of my bills and make arrangements. Ehh, it doesn't happen often, and most are willing to work with me because I am usually on time and make more than minimum payments. Also, blessedly, we only have one credit card, and it only has $400 left on it, so it's not a huge issue. Anyway, the one area where I tend to not pay attention is our grocery bill...I went online and checked how many times I went to Publix and Winn-Dixie in August and I was SHOCKED. I spent nearly as much on my groceries as I do my mortgage (which is $1300-ish.) Oh my WORD people, I have got to get this under control. What a WASTE. I am spending about $300 a week on groceries and eating out, and I don't even have a stockpile.

So that leads me to my next question. For those of you who have larger families, which include teenagers, how much do you normally spend on groceries per week? Do you shop weekly, biweekly, monthly? Do you bother with coupons or just buy store brands? Do you eat organic or buy as many pre-prepared foods as possible? Do you calculate in for kids bringing all their friends over? Do you have an eating-out budget?

For the past two weeks, I've only had $80 per week to spend on groceries. Heck yes, it was tight and we are not eating as healthy as I'd like. That makes me reason (in my own head, which is not always a good place to be!) that a budget of $150 per week would be acceptable for us. This would need to include breakfast (which for the kids is cereal, but I prefer stuff like eggs, omelets, bacon, that kind of thing) three kids packing lunches which include a sandwich, a drink, and some sort of snack, after school snacks, a decent lunch for me (I don't care for sandwiches much, I actually prefer leftovers!) and a good hearty dinner. Plus maybe a dessert for the kids a few nights a week. Do any of you menu plan? If so, how far in advance do you plan?

I'm curious to hear from you! Please comment, and tell me how you budget to feed your family!

Nutmeg and Cooler Temps

2011-10-02T15:21:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning and it was 57 degrees outside! GLORIOUS! It was so nice out, we walked to church instead of driving. I should walk more anyway, we live less than 1/2 mile from church. We got there in maybe 15 minutes?

That's some bright sunlight over my shoulder!

Well, I'd like to introduce you to Nutmeg. Nutmeg is about three months old. At first, I thought we were going to have to return her. She hissed at everyone, including the three other cats, and was completely unfriendly. But I insisted on giving her some time to adjust, and I'm so glad I did. What a loving little peanut she is! She doesn't meow much, but she makes these adorable little throaty noises; I call them "velociraptor" noises because it reminds me of the sound those dinosaurs made in Jurassic Park before they ripped your heads off. She does meow at the door when Missy leaves for school, but then we get snuggly and cohabit my office most of the day. I just adore her.

My windows are open on a gloriously sunny day!

I tried to use a scarf as a belt, but I think I need more practice.

Walking to church, on a beautiful day!

I decided on this cooler than usual (but not cold) day to wear my gray dress with my lime green knit blazer. I put it on, and immediately pulled it off. Still too hot for knit blazers. So I wore the gray dress with my gray shoes, and tied my scarf around my waist. I deleted the one full body shot I took. It was THAT BAD. It's a shame, I like the dress. But it's designed for someone with a different shape than me. I do believe I'm going to sell a few dresses. I have a few that I wear constantly, and then some I never wear at all. So be prepared, I'm going to put a few up for sale and give my readers the first shot. But until then, here's what I wore today (from the neck up.)

I think I'm going to grow my hair out again. I covet short hair, but after a few attempts, it's just not really me. Luckily, my hair grows super fast.

This will be one of the dresses I sell. It doesn't have any tags in it, but it does have a built in slip in black which I really like because it cuts down on bulk.

Just Keep Swimming

2011-09-27T17:32:00.000-04:00

I wish I had something...anything...interesting to report, but I don't! I just keep swimming, or treading water as they say. I'm praying for cooler temperatures to grace our area, but we are still in the mid 90s to nearly 100 heat index. I'm sick of my clothes, sick of my makeup sliding off my face, sick of sweating when I walk to the mailbox!

So my simple outfit posts seem boring to me lately. What I wouldn't do to wear a sweater or my boots. But since dying of heat exhaustion is not on my to-do list, I'll skip it for now.

My mom made those earrings!

This is such a sweet dress from Avenue, which I bought in 2009. Unfortunately, every time I wear it, someone "congratulates" me on being pregnant. So I generally only wear it in the house. But I hadn't done laundry in nearly two weeks (still haven't actually) and so I wore this. And almost right away, got a pregnancy comment. Saving this for maternity wear or inside-the-house wear.

Still getting used to this new hair.

My double chin and I say hello!

Digging My Hole

2011-09-23T18:16:00.000-04:00

I will never, ever complain about going back to school to get my degree. But now student loan payments are upon me, and I still have the same job I did before. Am I grateful to have a job? Yes. Am I blessed to have one which allows me to work from home? YES!! Am I still wanting to do something new? Sigh...yes.

I've applied for many jobs at the hospital. Either I've been turned down before I even get to interview, the position closed, or I decided the hours were not beneficial for my family. I guess I've been spoiled by working from home for so long. While I don't mind going in for department meetings and seeing everyone now and then, I have no desire to drive in 5 days a week and waste $75 on fuel weekly for the pleasure of wearing real clothes in front of actual people. No, I think working from home is pretty much it for me. Plus, we are having this reversal in January; I could be a new mama by the end of 2012! I don't want to put a baby in daycare.

I've been thinking about becoming a medical transcriptionist in addition to coding. Another work at home job for the most part, and hopefully won't take me very long to do. I haven't even researched how much it costs or where I can go to take classes; all I know is, I am extremely burnt out in the position I have now. One of my coworkers called in sick today and I burst into tears, knowing that I was going to fall behind in my own work so I could cover for her. And when I can actually feel my blood pressure rise every time I hear my email "ding" at me, I'm thinking the game is up and I need to move on. However, I can't just walk away; I have three kiddos depending on me, plus I cover medical insurance for the family. I'm trying to be practical.

I have a few good things going for me, as far as transcription goes. One, I'm a very fast typist...between 85-95 correct words per minute. Two, I'm an excellent speller. Three, I know medical terminology already.

What it boils down to is, I'm trying to make good choices for my family, present and future. I like being home. I love not driving to work when it's raining. I love drinking my coffee and going for my run/walk/wobbles in the morning. I love doing laundry in the middle of the day instead of having to wait until the weekend to do it all. Now, I don't mind going in to train at a location, but my ultimate goal is to be at home. I feel this is where I belong!

Buckety Moments

2011-09-21T08:07:00.000-04:00

Heard out of the mouth of my sweet son just this morning:

1) "Mom, if you got shot in the butt, you'd live." (My thoughts: "Awesome. I'll make sure to rob that bank backwards using the eyes in the back of my head.")

2) I said, "Good-bye, I love you!" Bucket: no response. I said, "I SAID, GOOD-BYE AND I LOVE YOU!" His response: "I said good-bye to you in my head. All good moms can read minds." (My thoughts: "Dang it. There goes my good mom award.")

Coffee With Cream

2011-09-20T20:01:00.000-04:00

Wow, have I been busy lately! I just realized it's Tuesday night, and I'm just now realizing that I never put my Sunday post up. Guess I'm getting old!

I call this my "coffee with cream" dress. It is a Maggy London, size 18, which I scored on eBay for a mere $20. (I know...what a deal!) The pattern is LOUD so I wear it with nude or white details. That's my pookah shell necklace which my friend Carmella bought me in Hawaii, and I'm wearing my cheapie nude Target flats which I bought two years ago for $6.88. I don't wear this dress very often, and every time I put it on, I can't remember why. This dress makes me feel FABULOUS.

Yet, these pictures don't make me feel happy. Despite the new hair, I was having difficulty styling it this particular morning. I know most women really love having straight hair, but I like mine to be wavy/curly. I feel like a school marm with straight hair. Also, I need to find a new location for pictures. Who wants to see my laundry room?

Pretend there is not a messy kitchen behind me, please.

Work has been busy. Kids are keeping me busy. Missy got a new kitten; I know, I must be insane. Her kitty Jack died last year and I resisted getting this girl a new kitty, but she prevailed and now she is in her room playing with this kitty. She is a 9 week old kitten which she got from a guy friend at school. He had named the kitten Brownie, but Missy didn't like that name. So Missy renamed her Nutmeg (had to keep the foodie name, for the aspiring chef.) I am back to my Couch to 5K, and not doing very well. But hey, everyone has to start somewhere, right? I am down with it. I'm not sure I will ever like running, but it's great exercise.

Feeling like I'm having a better hair day on this day. This was Saturday; I wore this to a baby shower.

why.so.serious?

Yaaaaay, I'm happy and I got to shop for baby clothes!

So how are you guys lately? I haven't heard much from the blogosphere lately. Hope everyone is happy and healthy!

Ten Years Already? Also: My New Hair

2011-09-11T14:27:00.000-04:00

I've seen the question asked all over facebook...where were you ten years ago on September 11 at 8:46am? I was at the hospital, working, when I heard a girl crying in the hallway. Since I didn't have much patient contact, I knew it was a coworker. I got up to see if she was ok, and instead found her, and my other coworkers, glued to the TV, watching the carnage. At least half of us were native New Yorkers (you'll find most people who live in Florida seem to be from up north.) We all held on to each other and stared. We cried. We prayed. We were angry. I'm not sure any of that has changed. I still cry when I see the footage, and still get mad when I think about how anyone...and I don't care who it was....would kill innocent people.

Surprisingly, didn't cry during the service today. It was tasteful and made me think about the past, but not to the point where I was choking. I cried so many tears over 9/11. I couldn't walk away from the TV for weeks. Thinking about 9/11 makes me sad, but makes me proud to be an American.

On to other things?

I got a hair cut nine days ago. Normally I'd have taken a picture, but I had the most awful pimple on my chin last week. In fact, you can still see it, but it is now at the lovely crusty stage. Plus I was having a good hair day today and another new dress to present. So pictures had to be taken!

This WAS a maxi dress. A maxi dress intended for someone about four inches taller than me. But for $6.88, who cares? I bought two...this gorgeous royal blue color, and a great amethyst purple. The purple one, I am thinking about turning that into two separate pieces, a nice top and a long skirt. Tank top, Target. Pewter Shoes, Avenue. Silver earrings, Goodwill. Silver cross, present from my Mommy.

Bucket is not the best photographer, but Missy spent the night with a friend, and Tiger was in the bathroom.


Despite the smeary glass, I like this shot!

Dear Lord, thank you for large beautiful blue eyes which can still see clearly for the most part.

Need a new pedi. It's a sweet darker red color. Me and my red, lol.

I took this picture myself, and was pleased at how it came out.

Shorter hair, but not shaved or pixie close. I can still put it in a very small ponytail. Honestly, I think I would have liked it shorter, but Mr. R really likes the extra length.

Happy smile because I have happy hair and a pretty blue dress to wear!

The hair cut is great. I think what made the difference is that I did a treatment where they put this stuff in my hair and it's supposed to be a cheaper version of Keratin. It smooths you out for 30 shampoos. Plus she cut layers into my hair, which gives my hair a bit of curl and wave. I just love the way it looks. Plus the side bangs are long enough to pull to the side with a barrette. I also bought a leave in conditioner which is making such a difference. I love my hair; it's thickness, it's texture, but in this humidity it gets wild. I love it so much more now that it's a bit more controlled.

What is your favorite scent? Despite not being a fan of the Black Eyed Peas or Fergie, I'm totally loving this scent which is available through Avon! Both Missy and I own it. I even have the lotion for my very dry legs. It's not super expensive either. Do you stick with one fragrance, or do you use a few? I'm new to the perfume thing. My favorite scent for a long time was Heavenly by Victoria Secret, and I still love it. I'm just now trying new scents. What is your favorite?

He all of a sudden wears this tie everywhere. A clip on tie stuck to a tee shirt. I don't even know what to say. But I had to take a picture.

I'm free. Are you?

LOOK AT THIS. Tiger's hand is bigger than mine! What happened to my baby?!?

Drums For Sale

2011-09-05T14:52:00.000-04:00

Mr. R is wanting to sell his drums. Yes, I'm in shock.

There's a lot of pieces. He knows what they are. I do not.

Those make cool noises.

All kids love those.

Comes with pedals.

Three pedals, to be exact.


I don't even know what that is. And pardon the white powder on the floor; it's carpet powder.

Anyway, for anyone in the general Central Florida area! If you'd like to purchase these, Mr. R is selling them for $3500. Churches, bands, schools...he's willing to make deals. If you want to discuss, leave me a comment and I will chat with you about it.

Vicious Guard Dog

2011-09-05T14:16:00.000-04:00

Yo. I will TEAR YOU UP. Oooh, is that a biscuit? It is SOOOO nice to meet you! I'm Roscoe!

I Am Laboring on Labor Day

2011-09-05T14:00:00.000-04:00

And I am NOT happy about it.

Mr. R left for a trip to NC, and on Thursday, he went to his friends house. This friend didn't tell us, until of course Mr. R got there, that he had a major flea infestation. And guess who decided to travel home with Mr. R? FLEAS. So guess what I'm doing on my first flipping day off in two months? WASHING COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF LAUNDRY, SPRAYING MY HOUSE INTO OBLIVION, AND CURSING UNDER MY BREATH.

Also decided to clean out the area where Roscoe's crate used to live. It was, to put it mildly, disgusting. I know the dog had bladder issues...but he was apparently peeing in the back of the crate, where it was running out and settling on the wall. I knew the crate stank, but I would mop it out without moving it (it's kind of heavy and bulky) so I had no idea that there was pee just sitting on the wall and ledge. So now that the crate is outside, there was this line of yellow matted dog fur pasted on the wall. And I got to scrape it off the wall, lucky me. It smelled so bad I gagged as I was scraping. I did get it all off, but the wall is stained. I steam mopped it, dried it, then started spackling the areas which where chipped. I'm going to sand those later, re-spackle, sand again, and then paint it sometime this week. Roscoe's crate is right next to our fireplace, and it's actually not on the floor. There is a step up and it's actually a built in entertainment center. We don't use it as such, since our TV is way larger than the opening is built. This is what it looked like before Roscoe passed away...sorry for the odd angle, but I didn't take a before shot today, wasn't thinking about it.

The fireplace is behind the very large sofa. See where Roscoe's crate is? Well, we're going to paint it the same dark brown color as the rest of the trim work. Then we're going to put shelves in there. I'm very much looking forward to it. One thing this house lacks is STORAGE. I must own 6 bookcase and they're all full. And not just with books...crafts, art supplies, office supplies, school supplies, sewing machine, games, puzzles...there is not a single coat or linen closet in this house and it drives me crazy!

I will share the end result when I'm done...hopefully by next weekend!

What Is True Love?

2011-08-31T07:56:00.000-04:00

After being married for 17 years, you'd think I'd know what love is all about. Except I keep learning, keep trying new things, keep giving, keep TRYING. He drives me crazy sometimes, but I truly do love him. I think last night I proved it, once and for all.

I have an awesome pillow. It is shaped funny and one of those that is supposed to stay cool no matter what, which is good for me considering the amount of hair I have. I ADORE this pillow. I've had it for three months and have slept fairly good since I got it. Well, Mr. R's pillow, to put it plainly, sucks. He's been home for a week and has been short and kind of angry because he's not sleeping very well. At 10:30 last night, he said, "Can I try your pillow?"

Uhhh...what? You want MY PILLOW?

"Please? So I can see if it works as good for you as it does for me?"

I seriously had to think about it. If I don't sleep well, that means I'm going to be a grouch and I'm working, while he's off this week. And it was too late to run to the store and just buy a second one. No, this mean real sacrifice, peeps; if he got my pillow, I'd be without. Of course, I gave in, and let him use my pillow; and I swear that man was asleep within two minutes. I slept ok...not as great as usual, and I got up at 5:45 to make sure Missy and Tiger were up in time to catch the bus. It's now almost 8am, and the man is still sleeping. Guess my pillow worked for him, too.

So. What have you done lately for your loved one, that required you to give something up that you really wanted? Was it a tv show, or the last cup of coffee? Was it moving somewhere you didn't want, or keeping a job you didn't like in order to support that person? Tell me!

Goodbye, Dear Friend

2011-08-29T17:42:00.000-04:00

I've known...maybe for a few weeks, that the end was close for Roscoe. Basset hounds are notoriously lazy, and this dog managed to get even lazier. He slept constantly, peed on himself in his sleep, had accidents all over the house. I followed him with a mop for a good month. Still he was cheerful and sweet to the kids. I just thought he was aging. On Saturday night, while Mr. R was out with his friends fishing, he had an accident in Missy's room. I got him outside to finish his deed while Missy mopped her room. She was angry. I wasn't happy, but I didn't yell either, just let him out and proceeded to go about my business.

A half hour later, I let him in. He was limping really bad, and he hadn't been limping earlier. I checked his paws for snake bites, and saw nothing. He almost seemed drunk; stumbling around which is so not like him. In the 8 years we had this dog, I've never seen him do anything like that. I had to help him into his crate. He turned around, flopped down, looked up at me and sighed. I patted him on the head, and told him he was a good dog. Then he went to sleep.

Mr. R came in the house maybe 90 minutes later; normally I'd hear Roscoe get excited to hear Mr. R come in, but nothing. I remember laying in bed, thinking that was odd. I called out to my husband, and he said he was going to watch tv in the living room for a bit so as not to disturb me, and I drifted back off. Mr. R fell asleep on the couch, and came to bed with me around 4:30. Then I woke up at 7:30...nearly an hour past my usual time to wake up. I overslept? How the heck did that happen? Roscoe gets me up at the crack of dawn so he can potty! I threw the covers off, and ran to his crate, and when I saw him, I knew. I knew he was dead. He normally sleeps facing outward to see Bucket who sleeps on the couch every night. Instead Roscoe was facing the wall, with his butt facing out. I tiptoed over to the crate and opened the door. I tried to rattle the door, but he wasn't moving. I ran back into the bedroom and woke up Mr. R. "Pssst. Babe. Wake up! I think Roscoe is dead." He jumped out of bed, ran to the crate, and confirmed my suspicions. My eyes started to well up. I let the kids know he was dead. Missy cried; Tiger is busy being "manly" and Bucket never liked Roscoe. We buried Roscoe in the backyard in his favorite spot to sun himself. Mr. R suspects that Roscoe may have died right after I put him to bed, because he was already cold and stiff. I'm so glad I made him a special dinner of scrambled eggs and sausage to mix into his dog food, so at least I know his last meal was a good one. I'm so glad he could die in his own bed, in his own crate, surrounded by his people. Heck, I hope I'm blessed in that way myself.

I went to the doctor today for a normal check up and my blood pressure is awful again. My sugar is good but they want to put me back on Metformin, which made me super sick. I said yes, and I'm just going to halve the pills and hope it will jumpstart me on some weight loss. I also tore a ligament in my right ankle, so I'm going to not do Couch to 5k for about a week and hopefully this ankle will repair itself. It's sore, swollen and the most pretty purple right now. It was weird to come back to the house and not be greeted by Roscoe, wagging his tail. He was really a friendly dog.

Another job I applied for at the hospital was closed, so again I didn't even get an interview. So disgusted.

Anyway, we do not plan to get another dog. I am kind of over the pet thing. We are going to take Roscoe's stuff and donate it to the Humane Society. Probably head over there tomorrow. We still have the three cats, O'Malley, Hercules and Buck. O'Malley is 12, nearly 13, so I'm guessing he will be next. Hercules is 5 and Buck is 2 or 3. A friend of mine is trying to give kitties away and I am emphatically saying NO to everyone.

I'm With The Band

2011-08-27T11:41:00.000-04:00

When I was in high school (late 80s, early 90s) the coolest girls were dating musicians. I, of course, was one of these girls...every guy I dated was a tortured (and broke) musician, including the one I married, Mr. R. While I wouldn't consider myself a musician, I do actually love to sing and love all types of music. I can also attend a concert and tell when one musician in an entire orchestra messes up. So I guess I do have an ear for understanding and appreciating music. So it is really no surprise to Mr. R or me that one of our kids is also a musician...and that is Tiger.

Here he is, playing alto sax for his first high school performance:

The performance was moved from the normal Friday to Wednesday due to a hurricane we didn't even get. So their uniforms were not ready yet. That's why they're all wearing tees and jeans.

The band this year is doing songs by The Beatles. Tiger is not a fan. But yet he learned all the songs...could not be prouder.

Getting ready for half time show, again no one was ready due to new students, and having to perform earlier than expected, so it was quite jumbled up.

I can't wait to see them actually marching, but that will be next week.

Tubas are heavy!

I haven't updated much in a while, so thought I'd fill you guys in on a few things:

1) I've got a measly $50 saved up for the reversal. That is only 1% of what I need. Fail.
2) For those who may have thought it, I'm setting the record straight now: Mr. R is not a bad parent for not wanting Bucket to be on the meds. He is simply concerned about how these medications will impact his growth and how safe they really are; many of them have not been tested on children. He is not wanting Bucket to suffer.
3) I have applied for several jobs at the hospital and cannot even get an interview. I have been personally quite discouraged lately. I may take a break from applying, maybe until after the reversal in January.
4) I have not done anything to my hair, mostly because my hospital is very conservative about what you do, and I wanted to wait until after I scored an interview to do my hair. But now I may do it anyway. I need a pick me up, and having a good cut and color could make me feel better.
5) I have started doing Couch to 5K, and I am clearly going to need more than 2 months to teach myself to run 3 miles. I can barely do the 60 seconds of jogging that the first week requires. Luckily, I am not in a competition with anyone but myself, and don't mind doing the first week again next week.

So. What's up with you guys?

I Had A Rough Week

2011-08-21T12:57:00.000-04:00

Sahaana, I know the pictures didn't upload last week; I have no idea what happened, but I'll repost. Thanks for letting me know!
I still have not cut my hair. I think you'll be able to tell from the pictures I'm posting today. Ponytail and barrettes are back in effect. When I have third grade hair, it's time for a trim!
I didn't post much last week. Work has been crazy. One of my coworkers was on vacation, and then another coworker's mom had a stroke and then she missed time too. I love helping my coworkers, don't get me wrong, but that means my work gets neglected. Then I feel rushed, hurried and out of control. No one is on vacation next week, so I will finally be able to concentrate on my own work. Plus...the kids are back at school tomorrow.
Here is what I wore to church today.

My striped Merona shirt, black lace tank top from WalMart, and my black cotton gypsy skirt from WalMart. Also, my open toe black shoes from Target. Blue crystal pendant from Target. I think the only places I shop are WalMart and Target?

I think I need a new bra. Am I lopsided here? I assure you, that of the many issues I have, my girls are both the same size. Am I slouching? I don't think I am?

I am laughing pretty hard here because Tiger is doing the Running Man behind Missy as she takes my picture. Today was a good morning.

But Thursday...it was bad. I had to leave early to take Bucket to middle school to get his schedule and pick up old report cards. Then we went to his psych doctor. I left in tears. Besides, his diagnosis of autism, we have now added General Anxiety Disorder, attention deficit disorder, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, and "attention to thrive physiologically." I don't understand why, I don't know God's plan for my Bucket, but all I know is that whatever he does, it will be exponentially harder for him than it will be for others. I am not sure I will ever understand it. All I know is, I'll be here to guide him as best as I can, to make good decisions for him until he is capable (if that ever happens.) Mr. R and I are fighting over his meds right now. The doctor prescribed an anti-anxiety med for Bucket. Mr. R says no...I say, let's give it a shot and see what happens. I can tell Bucket is super anxious. He has chewed his bottom lip into a pulverized mess of skin and picks at his skin constantly. He also has tics a lot. I don't want to go behind Mr. R's back, but I don't want to turn my back on Bucket. Please pray for me to make a good decision for my son. I hate medications, I truly do. I just love my kiddo so much.

Sort Of A Repeat

2011-08-15T22:09:00.000-04:00

I completely forgot that I wore an almost identical outfit about two weeks ago. Missy actually noticed before I did. This is what I wore to church yesterday:

This outfit should be called "How the plus size girl shops at Target." Except for the tank, it's all Target! My purple wrap Merona for Target dress; I will cry when this thing either rips or I grow out of it. Black Walmart tank, Target jewelry and Target shoes.

These dresses make me feel pulled together. This one is a size 1x. My sister bought me the bag for my birthday, it is by a company called "thirty-one." I put my Bible stuff in it. Just big enough for my Bible, study guide, notebook, wallet and cell phone.

My hair is driving me nuts right now. I hate it. But this is the stage where I always hate it. I hate hair next to my chin. To me, that's the widest part of my face. I'm trying so hard not to shave my head right now.

I told Mr. R I wouldn't cut my hair. But oh my WORD I hate my hair right now. I know the weather has a lot to do with it. The humidity drives me crazy. It's greasy near the roots, and dry at the ends. It is both frizzy and flat. Unfortunately, I live in a swamp which means I can't even look forward to autumn...we don't have autumn. It will be 85-100% humidity until October, maybe November. I don't know if I can last this long with awful hair. You see, I totally relate to Jo from Little Women, who felt like she was not all that pretty except that she had great hair. Well, I kind of feel the same way. My hair CAN be awesome. But it's not right now, and it's making me SAD. Plus, all I ever do is throw it up in a bun or ponytail. It's boring! I am feeling stir crazy wearing this mop of hair! I want a change, yet I know I won't keep up with a complicated hairstyle. More than 10-15 minutes of styling and I am DONE. I don't like product, as it makes my scalp break out. What is a girl to do?

I have a few thoughts. You guys tell me which one you like:


Kelly Clarkson! Cute, right? Longer in the front, shorter in the back, she has straight hair and a round face like I do.

Or:


I don't know who this chick is, but I like her hair. My hair will actually flip that way. Again, another person with a round face and straight hair.

Or:

Love Rihanna! She does some crazy hair, but this is one of my favorites.

Or should I just let it grow super long again?

Family

2011-08-12T20:11:00.000-04:00

Since I've become an adult, I've been involved in three major car accidents. And each time, my mom and stepdad came to my rescue; either by taking care of the kids, or cleaning my house, or driving me to go grocery shopping or the bank. I've always been grateful.
Today, I was unfortunately able to return the favor. My parents were in a pretty bad wreck; my mom injured, my stepdad not. I drove Mom home (she refused to go to the emergency room, but I bet she will change her mind tomorrow when the adrenaline runs out), then stayed with George (my stepdad) until FHP finished all the paperwork and his poor old truck was towed away.
Then I drove him home too, where I checked my mom again to look for bruising and to make her take an advil.
It's so easy to let your parents take care of you, but it was so odd to take care of them. My mom hugged me. George did too, although more awkwardly. I think he could tell the scales just tipped in a new way. I wasn't depending on them; I was helping them.
Have you ever been able to help your parents out in a new way? Tell me about it!

Not In The Mood

2011-08-07T12:47:00.000-04:00

I got up and dressed for church today, but the kids were fighting and you can see the anger and frustration in my face. Then I got to church, and it just got weirder and weirder. Bucket got sick; not sure if it was a seizure because by the time I got to him, he had thrown up in a wastebasket and was practically asleep. Found out that the middle school teacher is probably being replaced, which makes me sad because I like him quite a bit. Found out the high school pastor is leaving our church, and starting his own church. It is a bummer for our high school kids, but a blessing to wherever he will go. And then I was asked to be a full time administrator in the autism program, instead of the part time work I've already been doing. This means that I'd never attend a Sunday school class myself again, because I'd be in teaching and admin mode on Sundays mornings. However, I fully endorse the Two by Two program, and I know it made a huge difference for Bucket. So I agreed to it, without even thinking or praying about it. When it's right, it's right. In fact, you can come to the Two by Two page on facebook and "like" it to find out more! Here's the link if you're interested:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Two-by-Two/181684515174983
Anyway, I ended up leaving before the actual church service even started. (All this information happened during the Sunday school time, which is 9:30-11 am!) Bucket needed to get home, and I was overwhelmed with information overload. So these are terrible, unhappy pictures of myself, and that was before I got all the crazy news.

Don't ever get a tattoo on your boob when you're 18. You will regret it at age 36.

Tired, angry and ready for bed again; at 8:45am.

Hair is looking good though! Pray for me not to cut it. I am so frustrated with it right now. It is at that weird stage when it's too short to pull back, but long enough to be in my way. This is always when I start dreaming about very short pixie cuts.

My mom made me these earrings, aren't they cute? So I'm wearing the navy blue dress I bought from Ross, with my purple American Eagle shoes from Payless, a purple Walmart tank, and these blue and purple earrings. Blue and purple = burple = new favorite color combo!

I gave myself a pedi, and then didn't wear open toed shoes. How silly of me.

Keeping My Promise

2011-08-06T11:37:00.000-04:00

Our family tradition is that the Birthday Person gets to choose the restaurant and invite a friend. Missy, of course, chose her boyfriend to come to the Daytona Beach WingHouse. Then we took a walk on the beach. Honestly, she is so much like me; that is pretty much my idea of a great day, too!

Missy's boyfriend doesn't like having his picture taken. He should have thought of this before choosing to date my daughter.

Tiger is waiting on his Mountain Dew and wings.


Mr. R: "Quit acting like a baby and look at your mom while she's taking pictures!"

Beer.

Ok, I caught him when he wasn't paying attention to me. Missy is delighted at my deception.

The WingHouse girls sang Happy Birthday to Missy, made her wear a chicken beak and flap her wings like a chicken.

"Happy Birthday to you!"

Flapping like a chicken!

After our dinner, we walked down to Daytona Beach. I grew up mostly in the Orlando area, and Daytona Beach was always "the beach" to go to, but I hadn't been in the downtown area in years. And it has really grown up!

I think they have concerts or movies here?

I love this area!

I've never been to this movie theater.

Awww, my kiddos!

Missy: "Will you two stop arguing with each other?" Tiger (in hat): "Tell Bucket to stop standing up on his toes to look taller than me!" Bucket: "I'll be taller eventually, so get over it!"

Brothers who could use a break from each other.

Missy and her boyfriend.

Texting on the beach.

Some day, when I have tons of money at my disposal, I want a beach condo.

Rides at the beach.

Flip flops in the sand.

Daytona Beach pier.

The guys on the beach, waiting for Missy and I to quit playing in the water.

My stunningly beautiful 16 year old daughter!

UGGGG! Quit leaving cigarette butts on the beach! There are ashtrays all over the place, there's no need for this crap!

My flip flops, instead of Missy's. But her foot.

You will not catch me on that thing.

We had fun on Missy's birthday, at Daytona Beach!

Not Dead

2011-08-04T19:53:00.000-04:00

Computer issues again, friends. But I think I've got it licked this time. New anti-virus, disk clean up and defrag, removed cookies, cleared history...I'm not sure what else to do at this point except pray and call a priest. I'll be back soon with a recap of Missy's 16th birthday.

Middle School Boys

2011-07-24T12:23:00.000-04:00

For the past two weeks, the middle school boys teacher has not shown up to teach at our church. For the first week, he was away doing sleepaway camp, but we were in Tampa so I didn't know about it. The second week, he just didn't show....he told me to today that he simply overslept. I like the middle school teacher a lot. He's 25 and really has a heart for kids, seeing as how he's the oldest of 6 kids. I ended up teaching last week, which was a total disaster because 1) I wasn't prepared 2) My own children are in that class, and I don't like teaching a class where my own kids are, because they don't tend to participate. However, not knowing what was going on with the teacher, I created a lesson, just in case he was a no show again. One of the other kid's pastors must have noticed what was going on, because he ended up staying in the class with me, and then the normal teacher showed up about 20 minutes late. I was already in the midst of my lesson, so I continued and Mr. Teacher will just have to use his lesson next week.

I look like crap today. Wanna see?

Decided to part my hair in the middle to avoid the crazy piece of hair. After seeing these pics, I know remember why I don't part my hair in the middle.

Despite the ~~double~~ triple chin action, I like this profile shot.

I wore my Target necklace set again. And my dark pink Merona dress, and my pink and purple striped tank from WalMart.

Middle school boys don't scare me.

Birthday Lunch

2011-07-23T18:16:00.001-04:00

I went to lunch with my sister today at Olive Garden. Olive Garden is not a great choice when it's your first day back doing Atkins. However, I managed to do quite well. I had three bowls of salad (I absolutely LOVE OG salad, their dressing is tops!) grilled chicken and veggies, with two glasses of lemon water.
I intended to take pics, but my sister wasn't having it. She is in the middle of closing on a house and is completely stressed out. I took pictures of me instead.

This humidity...and that one piece of defiant hair over my right eye...is driving me crazy.

Looking forward to spending time with my sister!

Pewter mani pedi, pewter shoes.

Me in my office.

I love this cute Target necklace and earring set. It was $12!

Ok, piece of hair. You may have won today, but I'm going to grow you out and pull you back very, very soon!

Off to Olive Garden! Happy 34th birthday to my sister Kelly!

Grouch

2011-07-21T07:42:00.000-04:00

You'd think with all the good news we've had lately, I'd be in a better mood. I don't know about you, but if I don't get sleep, it doesn't matter how good things are; I'm still a grouch to be around! Ever since we got back from vacation, Roscoe has gotten up at 5am EVERY SINGLE MORNING. And has either vomited or urinated in his crate. So every morning, I'm letting him up, mopping, and spraying his area because it absolutely stinks. Except this morning, not only was I awakened by the dog, but the sonic boom from the last shuttle coming home. Because I live so close to the coast, it is like gunshots next to your head. I literally flew out of bed, thinking someone was shooting my house.
My heart truly goes out to the people who work at NASA...the Space Coast is about to become a total ghost town. All the good jobs are leaving, and so many other businesses depended on NASA. I have a cousin who is a cop in that area, and I pray for his safety as well. When money gets tight, people tend to get violent.
Makes my lack of sleep seem like nothing.

The New Testament in 40 Days

2011-07-19T20:40:00.000-04:00

I saw this on a blog, http://shelookethwell.blogspot.com/ , and decided to join. After all, I had been lax in reading my Bible ~~lately~~ for a long time. So I was delighted to join.
I'm on Day 2, and loved reading the Sermon on the Mount again. How wise He is! Would you like to join me? Here's the schedule:

Here is the schedule, all you need to do is print it up!

The New Testament In 40 Days

Day 1: Matthew 1-7
Day 2: Matthew 8-12
Day 3: Matthew 13-18
Day 4: Matthew 19-24
Day 5: Matthew 25-28
Day 6: Mark 1-6
Day 7: Mark 7-11
Day 8: Mark 12-16
Day 9: Luke 1-4
Day 10: Luke 5-9
Day 11: Luke 10-13
Day 12: Luke 14-19
Day 13: Luke 20-24
Day 14: John 1 -5
Day 15: John 6-9
Day 16: John 10-14
Day 17: John 15-19
Day 18: John 20-Acts 4
Day 19: Acts 5-9
Day 20: Acts 10-15
Day 21: Acts 16-20
Day 22: Acts 21-26
Day 23: Acts 27-Romans 4
Day 24: Romans 5-10
Day 25: Romans 11-1 Corinthians 1
Day 26: 1 Corinthians 2-9
Day 27: 1Corinthians 10-15
Day 28: 2 Corinthians 16-2 Corinthians 9
Day 29: 2 Corinthians 10-Galatians 4
Day 30: Galatians 5-Philippians 1
Day 31: Philippians 2- 1Thessalonians 2
Day 32: 1 Thessalonians 3-1 Timothy 5
Day 33: 1 Timothy 6-Hebrews 1
Day 34: Hebrews 2-10
Day 35: Hebrews 11 -James 5
Day 36: 1 Peter-1 John 1
Day 37: 1 John 2-Jude
Day 38: Revelation 1-7
Day 39: Revelation 8-15
Day 40: Revelation 16-22

When It Rains, It Pours!

2011-07-19T16:02:00.000-04:00

We had stopped looking for a local job for Mr. R for now. Nothing is out there, and even those jobs which are open fill up so quickly that Mr. R has been unable to get to Orlando or Sanford to fill out applications before those positions get snapped up. However, I didn't turn off the automatic emails I get from CareerBuilder, which are deposited in my inbox every Monday morning. I was flipping through my inbox this morning, deleting stuff, when I saw it. I almost didn't read it. Almost. Then I saw something which caught my eye; the name of my city.
What's so odd about that? Well, there are NO jobs in my city. Yeah, fast food and stuff. But I live in what is known as a bedroom community, meaning there is nothing but houses as far as the eye can see, plus gas stations and Walmart. It is not a city known for commerce. There's a trucking company in my city? I had to click on the link.
And what a link it was! A trucking company, linked with the US Post Office, needing a local driver. I immediately called Mr. R and told him, and he agreed that we should fax over his resume. I read his resume very quickly just to make sure there were no typos or outdated info (none!) and faxed it.
Mr. R called me 20 minutes to say that this company had called him within 10 minutes of receiving the fax. Wow! He had spent the last ten minutes talking to their recruiter, and Mr. R liked what they had to say. It is a local job, six days a week, Monday-Saturday. It starts at 4:45am, and runs until about 10:30. Then, he has a very long break, and back to work around 3pm, until 6:30. Odd hours, definitely, but who cares...it's WALKING DISTANCE from our house! It is literally a 15 minute walk from our front door to their location. He'd be home for lunch every day (for almost 4 hours!), and home for dinner every night, and Sundays off so he can attend church. He wouldn't miss any more of Tiger's band performances either!
The pay is decent...definitely a living wage. The only bummer is that they insist that the employee get covered under their insurance plan, which is a LOT more expensive than the one we have now. But only Mr. R has to get it, not me or the kids. I guess we'll get to that step when we get to it.
After work today, I have to fill out the full eleven page application and fax it back in, and then they're going to set up an interview.
I'm sitting here literally GIGGLING wondering what God may have in store for us next! All of these wonderful things keep happening! I sure hope this job pans out, and that my husband will be home every night!

STOP THE PRESSES!

2011-07-18T13:23:00.000-04:00

Vasectomy reversal doctor called. They have an earlier opening available...JANUARY 3! As in, FIVE MONTHS FROM NOW.
And I took it. :D Which gives me five months to come up with $4000.
~whimper~
Pray for us to find this money! I have $2000 of it in my bank at work. And I get that money on December 31st. So we really just need $2000, plus about $500 to cover hotel, fuel and food for two to three days in Tampa. Plus, we will need to have either Mr. R's mom or sister to stay with the kids for a few days, and I will need to pay them. Not a ton of money, but Sissy would have to take off work, and I'd want to compensate her for that. Mr. R's mom has never babysat/watched the kids for me unless I paid her, and that was even when they were little. (Do all grandmas charge to watch their grandkids? My mom didnt!)

But yes. Yes, please pray for this money to come to us. :D

Eyebrows and Humidity

2011-07-17T13:15:00.000-04:00

No one wants to take my pictures anymore. Plus my good camera is not working, so I'm stuck with this tiny point and shoot. It does the trick, but I miss my Canon. Anyway, all these pics are neck up. It's all I could manage.

I was trying to take a before shot of my eyebrows before waxing. It was bad. But I have a good natural arch.

I have skin tags on my eyelids. I don't like them. But insurance doesn't cover taking them off, so I live with them.

Oh Buck. I triple fluffy heart wubs you. Such a muffin!

Humid. OY IT'S SO HOT. I give up on hair until October. But hey, I waxed and my eyebrows look great!

It's not glare, it's not raining, I'm literally standing in a cloud of humidity. Swamp life, yo.

I love how my eyes tend to change color based on my clothing. Green dress, green-ish eyes. Blue dress, blue eyes. Gray dress, gray-ish eyes. But they mostly stay blue.

HOT. IT'S HOT. I HATE HOT. I didn't even bother bringing a cardigan. Not wearing it. Fat arms flap in the wind, I don't care. This weather is a beast.

Haircut, or grow it out? All I do is throw it up in a bun when it's hot...which is 9 months out of the year!

I love church for many reasons; air conditioning is one of them. All the little old ladies sitting behind me today were complaining about how cold it is in church....and I'm wondering how many more clothes I can take off before I'm banned.

I don't know if I've mentioned this, but it's hot and humid today!

That's it. I'm getting in the car. I have AC.

Oh, let me take a shoe picture first. My black Target flats. Pewter metallic pedi.

Back to work tomorrow. Going to clean kitchen, clean my desk, do a load of laundry, and stay INSIDE. Until November!

Day 3

2011-07-16T10:59:00.000-04:00

Day 3 of our vacation was Monday, July 11th. We let the kids sleep in after the long exciting day at Busch Gardens. The hotel had a pretty good continental breakfast from 6:30 to 9:30. My body gets up at 7am whether I like it or not. I hopped up to get some vittles. Mr. R begrudgingly joined me. This was the day, honestly, that I was the most excited about. We were going to meet the vasectomy reversal doctor to see if Mr. R was a candidate for the procedure. We left the kids in the hotel to watch TV and eat...and we had our appointment at 1pm.

The doctor was super nice. He asked us how many children we had together (3), the age of our youngest (13), our ages (38 and 36) and how many years we had been together as a couple (21.) Then he burst out laughing and asked us why we wanted more children when we had teenagers together: "You have three teenagers and you aren't crazy yet?" LOL...we get this a lot. Then he examined Mr. R...apparently you can feel when directly palpating the scrotum, where the vasectomy incision is. It had never occurred to me to try and find it. On one side, there is a centimeter between the two parts of the vas deferens, and on the other, only 1/2 of a centimeter. Doctor said Mr. R was an excellent candidate. We, as a couple, only have a 50/50 chance due to our age (mostly mine, actually) and the amount of years since the initial vasectomy, which was 13 years ago. By the way, do you know what's weird? Watching a total stranger, who happens to be a man, touching your husband's private parts. I had to turn around. It was too weird for me. We are scheduled for the vasectomy reversal on June 12, 2012. However, we are on the waiting list to go earlier, but not before January. We still need $4000 to pay for this. I should be getting around $2000 on Dec. 31 when I get my end of the year pay out. That gives me a few months to put cash away, in case they call us before June 12. Plus, Mr. R's mom will have to come to the house to watch the kids (Mr. R is not interested in having the kids around while he's recovering from scrotal surgery...cannot blame him one bit.) Plus hotel room for another three days in Tampa. At this point, I am thinking we need right around $5000 more to make it all happen. Ai yi yi.

Well, we did other things besides seeing scrotum doctors. (I like the word scrotum...it's funny to me. lol) We went to Clearwater Beach!

We didn't stay very long. First, the water was filled with tons of sea grass. Mr. R complained that he felt sticky when he got out. Remember, this is the Gulf of Mexico, where the oil spill was a year ago. We only spent two hours here and gave up. Besides, the charge to park was ridiculous. $2.75 an hour! In Daytona, you can park on the beach for $5 all day!

I am forever a beach girl; however I don't think I'm a Clearwater Beach girl.

He looks thrilled to be with us. The only thing Bucket bought on vacation were these aviator glasses...HE. LOVES. THEM. So much that he wore them everywhere we went, even at night, in dark places. He bumped into lots of walls. But it was ok...he looked cool.

I'm wearing the only thing Tiger bought for the vacation; this ridiculous Mountain Dew hat. You can see, it's about to storm behind me.

Random beach shot.

We finished out our day with a free slurpee at 7-11. Actually, I did not, they're full of sugar. Missy got a Coke slurpee, Tiger got cherry, and Bucket got a mix of sour apple and raspberry. It was a good day!

Day 2

2011-07-15T17:53:00.000-04:00

On Sunday, we went to Busch Gardens. I've lived in Central Florida for nearly 24 years now, and this was my first trip to BG. It was FUN! Very well laid out, and the lines were not awful. Unable to take pictures on any of the rides of course. Here is what I can share with you:

The cheetah enclosure in front of the...wait for it....cheetah ride. I didn't get on. Only because I was carrying my bag with my diabetes crap in it, and everyone ran to the line and I got detained. So I ended up waiting an hour. I was TICKED.

A beautiful snake in the zoo portion. Very glad he's behind glass.

These would be frogs. I LOVE FROGS. I think they are just the cutest!

As Bucket candidly remarked, "HEY MOM. THAT KANGAROO IS A BOY." Of course he said this in his OUTDOOR VOICE in front of many people. I love that boy.

Do not feed kangaroos while standing on your head! It's dangerous!

Typical Florida...flamingoes!

After walking around the park in the heat for a few hours, the boys got on Sheikra, and Missy and I needed a sit. I had to check my sugar and rest my poor feeties.

I didn't ride, but I got a cup to prove....nothing.

Check me out! Skirt with bicycle shorts underneath. Worked like a charm, no chub rub for me!

Do I look like a tourist? Sure. Do I care? Not even a little.

Busch Gardens, this was the nastiest part of the day. Sitting down to have lunch and this guy actually ran within three feet of my legs. Yes, that's a RAT. Please, get an exterminator! How disgusting!

Day 1

2011-07-14T21:23:00.000-04:00

Mr. R and I took the kiddos to Tampa Bay. We arrived Saturday afternoon. After unpacking (throwing suitcases and backpacks on the floor) we decided to go to the Hard Rock Casino. I know, I brought kids to a casino. What can I say, I'm classy like that.

How many of you started to sing the song when you saw the picture? I know I did.

My girl in front of a store. It had to happen.

Awesomely weird guitar.

I took tons of pics of guitars, because both Mr. R and Tiger play.

I was standing directly below, trying to get a shot. It was huge, and very tall!

Waiting to get dinner.

He has a Mountain Dew addiction.

We were right near the kitchen, so she was watching the chefs. And was dismayed to see not a single female chef. She LOVED the Hard Rock.

Me and my handsome husband!

Ok, now, Florida has a very strict no smoking law for both bars and restaurants. It honestly did not occur to me that this casino would have smokers. After about two hours, poor Tiger started feeling sick. He has a condition called costrochondritis which smoking does tend to affect. Costochondritis is when the cartilage between the ribs because inflamed and a person has difficulty breathing. It is not asthma, but a lot of the symptoms feel the same. Well, I ended up taking Tiger home early. Luckily, our hotel included free shuttle service back and forth to the casino. So I called them on my cell phone, and they came to pick us up. We walked in the door, and I immediately ordered Tiger into the shower so he could steam up and get the smoke out of his lungs. Then I took his clothes and tied them up in a plastic bag so he couldn't breathe it in. Hey, want to see our room?

This was Tiger before the costochondritis issue.

Mr. R called this "the dirty pond view." I laughed for a good five minutes after he said this, but I am very easily amused.

This tiny sofa was a double bed, and this is where Tiger slept. There are two reasons why he got this bed to himself. 1) He was so gassy that no one wanted to be near him. 2) He had a major case of chub rub and had to sleep with only underwear on, and lots of powder.

We shared one bathroom for FOUR DAYS. Worst part of the vacation.

They were fighting over something. I don't even try to find out why anymore.

Tiger watching TV, Missy trying to look cute.

Me and my handsome husband again! Stay tuned for Day 2!

Vacation

2011-07-13T09:28:00.002-04:00

I just returned from a lovely trip with my family! Pictures to come soon...

Choices

2011-07-06T08:38:00.000-04:00

My closest supervisor has been promoted to a new job within the hospital, and I couldn't be happier for her. She is qualified, thoughtful, and a workhorse. It will be a pleasure to have her in upper management. Unfortunately, that means she will no longer be my direct supervisor. That position is OPEN.

Do I apply? The pay, I hear, is not spectacular. About 50 cents to a dollar more per hour. But this is probably less about the pay, than it is the experience. However; I didn't go to school to work in management. Is this the experience I really want? And does it line up with my future goals? I can still work from home in this position, too, although I would be required to drive in every now and then. Maybe once a week. Not an awful thing.

I have been applying for every coding position that pops up, and I have been denied every time. I can't even get an interview. The manager of coding is no longer responding to my emails. I'm not sure what to think about that; back in February, they wanted me in their department. Now I can't get a peep out of them. My mind is whirling with thoughts, weighing every pro and con until really, all I have is a headache and no further answers. I do this every time a milestone comes up in my life. I overthink everything!

Bucket's 13th birthday was yesterday. My camera is not working (!!!) and so I got no pictures of him on his birthday, which really made me sad. He had a good birthday. I worked all day. Such is life.

Come Home To THIS!

2011-06-28T19:05:00.000-04:00

Mr. R was not home when I decided to do all of this. I took care of selling the wood, then boxing everything up, moving furniture, washing clothes, and moving stuff to storage. Phew, I was POOPED! It took me, embarrassingly, 8 hours to clean my room. In my defense, this includes laundry, moving furniture, mopping, sweeping, dusting and stopping to make dinner. But still. I should be ashamed. And I still didn't clean the window....it was raining the entire time and I was not about to go outside in the rain to wash windows.

Bed under the window, instead of the middle of the floor. What do you think? Symmetry is off, but I like it!

Great view of the bathroom...and my closet! Unfortunately, I couldn't fit Mr. R's "nightstand" on his side of the bed. I don't think this is going to go over well. He likes his drink next to him at all times.

And you can see how long it took me to do all the work...it's dark now!

Ahhh...comfy bed! Can't wait for my husband to come home!

Welcome To My Jungle, I Have Fun And Games

2011-06-28T18:46:00.000-04:00

My room was DIRTY. Now I feel bad for yelling at my kids to clean their room, because mine was atrocious. It is not a big room...I think 12 x 15. We have a queen size bed with a full headboard and footboard, one nightstand, a file cabinet which Mr. R uses at his nightstand, a dresser and a bookcase. I try to store as much as possible under the bed. Right now, I have all my gift wrap, an old computer, and most of our taxes under there. Anyway, this is what it looked like before I started cleaning. I literally did not put anything away before I started snapping pics. There's a bag of chips and some folded underwear on the bed. Keeping it real, keeping it real.

Mr. R picked the color for our walls. It's not quite Florida, but forest green really is one of my favorite colors. I think we could use some crown molding up at the top. It looks bare.

This was where the wood pile was. It was stacked about midway up the window. Yes, that means the window hasn't been cleaned in years. I know, I know. Bad Sarah.

The water bottle holds spare change. Extra computer monitor, taxes, fabric, pictures in white laundry basket, cowboy hat, extra CPU, extra quilt. Yes, our room became storage.

I made this! It's my earring holder. It is an embroidery ring ($1.79) plus remnant white fabric. I suppose you could use any color fabric you wanted, but I wanted it to look like art on my dark wall, so I went with white. And as you can see, I'm missing one of my circular earrings...I'm gonna go hunt for it.

My honey really can be quite romantic. He hung up the candle sconces. I do love some candlelight, but we haven't lit those things in years. I found spiders living in one of them. ~shudder~

This was not an easy clean. I went through the baskets first. Kept a few pictures out to hang out, and put a few in a specific under bed storage box. Taxes stuffed under the bed. CPU wrapped in an old blanket and shoved under the bed. Monitor was too tall to go under the bed, so it's in the closet. Fabric went into the living room...Mr. R is not going to be happy but I hope I can find somewhere to put it. Maybe in attic, don't know yet. Ok, let's continue!

You can see that we're readers. And that is the infamous bathroom where I took a shower with the scorpion.

Closet and dresser.

Each kid has a memory box. They need to go up into the attic.

Mr. R's new toy; the UFC work out on a door thing. Of course, he puts it on the door, and then leaves...this is really no good to him until he comes off the road.

This is Mr. R's nightstand. Yes, a filing cabinet. And again, yes...instead of normal nightstand stuff, it has a UFC poster, a bottle of mojo, and my necklaces on the lamp. We're classy that way.

We are readers!

Someone took a band-aid, left it on the bookcase, and then it fell. Guess Mommy has to clean it up.

I think this picture sums up our relationship perfectly. He has a crossbow, I have shoes.

Solution to bracelet storage: I have a jewelry box which I can't find right now. However, I also have these cute little baskets with tropical logos on them. I've had them at least 9 years.

Into the basket, bracelets! Yes, that's all I have right now. I'm working on it.