Casting Anxiety

Hooray, I got my camera back!
Boo, the program which uploads my data and displays my pictures is not working!

I had a bit of a meltdown over the weekend and yesterday.  You see, I was rejected for ANOTHER job at the hospital, without the benefit of even an interview.  "Crushed" is an excellent word to describe my demeanor.  And then my friend Bryan sent me this verse, and I am leaning on it so heavily:

Casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7

YES.  YES!  He cares about me, so I'm casting my anxiety on Him.  This morning, after the children left, Mr. R and I made a decision about my career:

One, no more applying for jobs right now.  Bucket is still in middle school, and he is still not mature enough to get ready for school on his own, so there is no need to leave him alone in the mornings. 

Two, ICD9 (which is the coding style I am certified for) is not even going to be a valid coding system as of October 2013.  So, I'm going to order the study materials to pass the new exam for ICD10 instead, and be ready for that.  That gives me almost two years to prepare.  That also gives Mr. R and I chance to find out if we are going to have a new baby. 

Three, by October 2013, Missy will have graduated high school, and only the boys will be left in high school.  With both boys in the same school, my life will not be quite as hectic. 

So there you have it.  I feel SO relieved, like I just figured out something monumental and now I can relax!  Let's bring on the babymaking!!!

P.S.  Tiger's music teacher will be over on Thursday, hopefully he can fix my computer.  It is just doing stupid crap again.  Wondering if I should replace laptop at this point.

This Chapped My Hide

I think today is the kind of day where I walk around perching my fingers above my eyes with that squinty look...mostly because I seem to keep running into people who are purposely trying to annoy me! 

1)  Doctor office calls me because they want to order a test, but they don't know what the cpt code is for the test.  And it wasn't even a fancy test that you don't order a lot of; it was an ordinary test that you could see many, many times per week.  I asked the girl who called me if they have a cpt code book, a superbill, or even a cheat sheet that they can keep a regular list of codes handy, and she said curtly, "I don't need it."  Well, clearly, YA DO, because you shouldn't be calling me to do YOUR JOB.  Ya dig?

2)  I had to drive all the way to hubby's work in Sorrento to pick up his check, even though we pay an administration fee of $52 a week and somehow they can't figure out how to deposit his check electronically, so I had to drive to get it because our bank is not open on weekends.  So, instead of taking lunch, I drove 45 minutes in the rain to get his check.  I waited in front of the receptionist and she was on the phone, so I stood there quietly until she finished.  Mid-sentence, she looked up at me and raised her eyebrow, so I assumed she wanted to know why I was there; so I whispered, "I'm here to get his check" and she YELLED AT ME!  "Ma'am, I am on the phone with someone and you will have to wait your turn!"  Let me tell you; if I had been anywhere except where my husband happens to work, I can assure you I would have walked out of that office with that lady's head in my purse.  I bit my tongue and laughed inside when the person she was on the phone with hung up on her (probably because she yelled in his ear!).  Then she asked me for my husband's name (he's worked there for 7 years, she still doesn't remember me, whatever!) and then she handed me the wrong check.  I handed it back and said, "This isn't his."  She then yelled at me again, "YOU SAID JAMES XXXXXX"  and finally I said in my very loud New York-accented ticked off voice "I think I know what my husband's name is!"  Then she realized that she grabbed the wrong one, and then sees my husband's check and says, "What street do you live on?"  I tell her, and she hands me the correct check. 

3)  Package deals.  Let me explain.  I get the paper on weekends.  However, I only want the Sunday paper.  Did you know that it's cheaper for me to get the paper on two days, than one day?  I feel so bad for the Saturday paper.  I never read it.  It goes straight into recycling.  Why is is cheaper to get two days of paper than just one?  The same for cable/internet service.  Do you know how hard it is to find just internet service?  Maybe I don't want cable!  Maybe I just want to surf the net!  What is so wrong with that?

Pffft.  Pictures will be back soon.  I just needed to vent.

Ego Boost

This morning, as I sipped my coffee and went over my schedule, I received an instant message from a former coworker in my department, who has moved onto greener pastures, as they say.  She asked me if I knew anyone who would be interested in an auth position in her department.  Of course I do!  Unfortunately, they wanted someone to drive to Orlando every day, and not work from home.  I had to decline, but it's nice to be thought of so well.  I told her that if they would let me work from home three days a week, I'd drive to Orlando for the other two days.  Michelle (my former coworker) said she'd ask the manager (who I happen to know very well, and she has met all my kids so she knows the autism issue is real and not something I'm making up) if they'd be willing to do that.  Who knows? 

Also:  my camera is ready!  I can pick it up Saturday.  Woo hoo!!!

Skirty

You guys, I am so lost without my camera.  I finally found some skirts!  I was at WalMart with the hubs and Bucket and while they were in the guy area (fishing, guns, and bait, yummmm) I meandered over the clothing area.  I am not a snob and will totally wear WalMart clothes, but lately, their plus size offerings have consisted of mom jeans and poorly cut tees.  So nooo thank you.  But I found...SKIRTS!  ON SALE YO.  And I have no pictures but I assure you, they are kind of cute.  They are midi length, patterned skirts, with a slip built in.   And guys...$11 each!  I wore one today to church and was able to crawl on the ground in the  kindergarten room without flashing anyone; and that, my friends, is the definition of a good day.  It is a size 16 (I normally wear a 18/20) but it does have an elastic waist.  It also has a black stretchy panel around the top (sort of looks like a belt, but it's not maternity, I did check!)  so I'm thinking I may be able to use it as maternity wear, should that ever happen.  Until then, my top covered it.  The one I wore today is white, purple, aqua, and navy geometric shapes.  I wore it with an aqua wrap top and a white tank.  Don't worry, I was so pleased with my look that I am certain I'll be duplicating the look eventually.

The two other skirts are a brown and tan floral, and another geometric pattern, this time with red, olive green and brown as the colors.  I can really see myself wearing these EVERY.SINGLE.DAY in the summer with one of my many tanks and a pair of flip flops.  In fact, I may go back and grab two more; there were other colors but I only had $40 on me and so I stuck with the three I liked best. 

I just spent 30 minutes going on the WalMart website, plus online to find the skirts, and it's like they don't exist!  Don't worry, someday you will see them.  Mr. R thought they were cute, modest and pretty.  They will definitely be a summer staple.

And thank you for the prayers on Friday.  When I finally clocked out on Friday, I was in tears and nearly knocked my chair over just to get away from that desk.  I am not excited about tomorrow, but I will do my best to make sure my patients' accounts are squared away properly.  I may not like my job, but these patients deserve accountability and I am nothing if not professional.  Besides; it's only 5 days to the weekend!

Dying Inside

People just pray for me.  This job is eating away at my soul.  I won't go into specifics, but every morning when I clock in, my heart starts to pound and I feel sick inside.  If I hadn't signed a contact, I doubt I would be here.  And I have about 2 years left.  I know, I'm blessed to work from home, it's a decent pay with good benefits, but I dread it, every single day.  Either my job needs to change, I need to change, or Jesus needs to come.  But something has to give.

Independence

I spent most of Saturday with Bucket.  Missy was at driver's ed and Tiger was earning money by clearing out Mr. R's garage.  When I get Bucket alone, he yakks my head off about video games, girls he likes, stuff he wants.  I try to listen and not comment too often; I like that he trust me enough to talk that much.  I truly think back to times when doctors told me he would never speak, and now I can't get him to SHUT UP.

Most people would not give a second thought to letting a 13 year old boy do certain things, but I still have to think carefully about what he can do.  Yesterday, we tried two new things: I had cash to pay for fuel, so I told him to go inside and pay for it.  I told him how to walk up to the register and say "$30 on pump six."  And he did it!  I could tell how pleased he was with himself, so then I let him pump the fuel into my car.  He told me that pumping fuel was "man's work" and he did a great job.

Then we went to my mom's house later to pick up a sweatshirt my mom had ordered for Christmas for Missy; it was the wrong size so she sent it back and now it fits.  My dad was working on a puzzle and I cannot believe how quickly Bucket honed in on it.  My poor dad; he didn't get to finish the puzzle.  Bucket loved working on it and my dad, in his wisdom, kicked back and let him finish it.  I looked over and him and whispered "Sorry about the puzzle!" and he winked at me and said, "watching this is better."  Now I'm thinking I may purchase some puzzles to work on.  Tiger loved it too and here I am thinking they've outgrown this kind of thing.  Guess I was wrong!

Time for me to get ready for church; getting the boys up is like torture.  I just wanted to write this down because I had such a great day with Bucket.  He really is an awesome kid!

Up Too Early

Thanks to Missy taking Driver's Ed for the next 8 weeks on Saturday mornings at 8am, I'm going to be up pretty early.  I dropped her off this morning; the girl is so nervous and my reassurance wasn't helping one bit.  That car accident in April tore away her self confidence, and unfortunately, I haven't pushed her to drive afterwards like I should have done.  Now she's terrified to get behind the wheel; I sure hope her teacher is an understanding person.  Driving back, two things struck me:

1) I cannot believe my daughter only has 3 semesters left to school and she graduates from high school!  Didn't I just have this child?!?!  And who said she was old enough to drive?

2) I miss my dog!  Well, maybe not exactly.  I think I miss having a dog, period.  At least dogs are happy when their owners come home.  But we're up to 5 cats at this point and unless we have another baby, I do not want anything else that poops to come into this house.  But I was behind a guy in a pickup truck driving home, and his dog had his head out the window, and I laughed.  Roscoe LOVED hanging his head out the window to catch some air.  And those long ears would flap and pop him in the face.  There is something about dogs that make you thing of simple joys.  A good meal, a warm bed, and a tummy rub is all anyone ever needs, right?

Anyway, I have a quiet house to myself for at least a few more hours.  The boys are still sleeping and Missy is at school.  I'm going to tackle the dishes; for some reason, our dishwasher isn't working properly and I just give up; gonna wash it by hand.  Glad I bought gloves!

Oh, and one last thing: my absolute confusion over Type 2 diabetes.  I've been diagnosed for over a year now, and if nothing else, it ticks me off more now.  On Thursday, I had a super healthy dinner.  Roasted chicken breast, with salad.  Absolutely delicious.  Took my meds; blood sugar Friday morning was 141.  My goal is under 120.  Last night, I had four slices of pizza, a can of Pepsi (well, half, I didn't finish it), completely forgot to take my medications, and my sugar level this morning was 132.  My numbers are better when I eat like crap.  I don't understand it!

Oh: one more last thing.  Ha!  Camera should be ready to pick up this Friday.  Hoooooray!

Location: Nerdville. Population: Meeeeee!

I took the time to drop some of Missy's books off at the library.  Decided to actually peruse the aisles and I am so glad I did!  I found a biography of Laura Ingalls Wilder, and I am nerdily excited to read it.  In fact, I left the books in my car when I returned to work, because I knew I'd be tempted to read while working, and that just wouldn't work out.

As soon as I drop her boyfriend off at his house (I swear this kid is here almost 24/7!) I am going to change into my warm jammies, leap into bed, and read!
No sleeping in tomorrow, as Missy has her first drivers ed class at 8am (what a bunch of jerks!).  I don't have a ton of money this week, but I may scout around some yard sales since I'm going to be up at the butt crack of dawn anyway.

Do you have any weekend plans?

70 Readers!

Wow!  I checked my blog this morning and found that I have reached my 70th reader.  I am so honored...thank you for reading my humble little blog!  And welcome!

So Mr. R left this morning for a run to the Carolinas.  A perfect first run for a guy who is still dealing with some pain.  We probably won't see him for about three weeks.  Hopefully by then, he will be completely healed of any other issues.  He really has recuperated well, but still feeling some pressure and is moving slowly.  We have already "commenced activity" although it was 4 days before we were supposed to do anything.  He was insistent to make sure "everything worked" and it did, but I think that slowed down his recovery.  Of course, the day we "commenced" was also a day I was ovulating, so I'm trying very hard not to think about anything.  I promise, if anything happens, I will let you all know about it!  But for now, I'm just doing my usual; working, sleeping, eating. 

I'm still waiting on my big camera (my Canon) to get fixed so I can start taking pictures again.  I feel awkward without my camera.  I miss taking blog pictures and pics of the kids, too.  I am also bidding on some skirts on eBay so I can start wearing all these tops I keep collecting.  I must have 40 tops which I never wear because I had no skirts to wear with them.  I have also tagged some maternity wear just in case I need to start ordering those, too.  I LOVE eBay...I always struggled with maternity wear when I was pregnant 17 years ago (eeeeek!) and had really crappy clothes which I didn't like, like tapered stretch pants, huge mens tees, elastic waistband shorts and a dumpy skirt set.  Wow, maternity clothes have changed and they're not much different than what I wear now.  I am hoping that my maternity style will just rock, if the Lord chooses to bless me with a baby!  Since I live in a semi tropical climate, I am only looking at summery items.  I have found several cute dresses, but I'm not bidding on anything until I see a + on a test.  Until then, I'm not going to snag any items that another plus size lady may need.  I can be patient...perhaps!  If I end up being due in "winter" (uh today is January 11 and it's like 80 outside) I hope that I can just use my current cardigans to keep my arms warm.  I can't imagine needing a coat or anything. 

I'm also looking forward to getting to bed early tonight.  Despite the lack of "commencement" during most of our vacation, Mr. R still managed to keep me up with his constant 1)snoring 2) talking in his sleep 3) Mr. Grabby Hands (thats what I call it when he can't keep his hands to himself and he gropes me in his sleep.)  I am POOPED and I am telling you, I will be in bed by 8:30 tonight, I promise you.

Headache

I have not worked since December 30; ten glorious days which all belonged to me.  I went to Tampa, cleaned my house, slept in, ate heartily, and simply just existed.  At 5pm tonight, I suddenly got a crushing headache.  Ah, the night before work starts up again; I doubt this is a coincidence.  I cleaned my desk, threw out my 2011 calendar, and blew all the crumbs out of my keyboard.  I shredded old paperwork, wiped down my monitor, and got the coffee pot ready.  The entire time, I thought, "POOOOH!  I'M STILL HAVING FUN!!!"

Two advil down, two huge glasses of ice water later, I am feeling somewhat better but still not great.  I'm listening to the kids yelling at the TV (Denver vs.  Pittsburgh!) and the hum of the dishwasher. 

So I told you how on our very first day of vacation, I dropped my camera and broke it.  Here are the only pictures I have of our vacation.  I pulled them off the memory card.  Wish I could share more.

The most popular part of Ybor City is 7th Avenue.  It is a neighborhood in Tampa, not an actual city.

Like a lot of places in Florida, a lot of the signs were in Spanish.  I can read most of them.  I just wish I could speak Spanish!

I adore older architecture.  These buildings remind me of being in New York.  I'd love to spend more time learning about them, and touring them!

Mr. R is a cigar smoker, which I find mildly disgusting.  And since he was going through, well, SCROTUM surgery, I suppose a cigar or two was in order.

Make that more than two.  Oh well.  As long as he smokes outside and brushes his teeth, I guess I can live with it.  Blech.

Home

We are home.  The husband is doing well.  He is sitting on the couch with our two sons, watching a movie.  Missy is asleep in her room, and I am catching up on laundry, facebook and blogging.

The surgery, according to the doctor, was a success.  It took about three hours.  Three hours in which I paced, took walks, and watched the same nature documentary twice in the most uncomfortable chairs possible.  Mr. R was awake the entire time and talked the doctor's head off.  Once the procedure was completed, I was in charge of taking care of my man.  I removed his soaked gauze bandages, cleaned him up, and gave him his antibiotics.  I brought him dinner, helped him into the bathroom, and, unfortunately, held his jacket while he threw up in the bushes at our hotel.

According to our doctor, we have to wait three weeks before we "commence activity" but I doubt he'll be home.  But basically, everything is a go at this point, and now we just have to see if it worked.

Thank you for your prayers; we are both at peace with our decision to have the reversal.  I am certainly glad my hubby is not in any real pain right now, and I'm enjoying spoiling my  man.

Surgery

Mr. R will be at the office having surgery in about an hour.  He is annoyingly calm, while I am about to bounce off walls.  Please be praying for a quick recovery for him, and little pain.  I do feel bad for him; I promised him, no more "scrotum" surgery!  After this, it will all be on me.

Oh...and we were having a great time in Ybor City (I HAVE to go again, it was awesome!) when I dropped my camera and broke it.  So no pictures of this historic event.  Facepalm!