I Worship Him

The only church where my entire family has been welcome.

He's actually in a good mood, but he's not crazy about the singing.

Also in a good mood.  Is wanting to light her candle.

The children's pastor singing.  Bucket hit my arm just as I was taking the shot.

Tiger has his candle.

The guy in front of her leaned back at one point and she nearly set his hair on fire.

We'd like for this to be a non-arson Christmas, thankyouverymuch.

The whole church was singing "Hark the Herald Angels Sing."

The church was packed.  I was happy to see so many people!

Even on the second floor.

Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas, friends.  I love you all.

Pardon the Self Portraits

I'm trying to learn how to take pictures of my face without looking cross eyed.  I admire so many bloggers who take pictures, one shot.  And they look fabulous!  and this is what happened.  I like this one because of how it shows my dark hair against my blue eyes.  That is always one of my favorite features.

See, not as crazy about this one.  My nose looks enormous. 

Ok, I don't look cross eyed, I was purposely looking away from the camera.  My favorite part of this picture is my lips.  I very rarely wear lipstick because my lips are really big and I don't like getting nasty comments about them.

I'm forcing myself to write something I like about every picture.  I like this picture because my nails look nice today.  And I have no blemishes right now.

I like this picture because it shows that I have actual cheekbones, not just chubby cheeks.

I like this picture because my eyebrows look pretty good.  They really need to be plucked on a regular basis because they're so bushy.

I like this picture because it looks like I'm up to something no good!  Awesome smirk, lol.

Is it ok to keep mentioning my eyes?  I am not trying to brag on myself, but I really think they're beautiful.  They're a gorgeous shade of gray and blue.  Steely, I guess.  But they're striking and I get comments on how pretty they are all the time. 

I'm thrilled that my  hair is growing out.  I think by February, it will be a wavy shoulder length mess which is what I prefer.

Yayyyyy, Mr. R is going to be home on Thursday!

I wonder what I'll make for dinner?

Finally, a straight ahead picture; and I look cross eyed.  I give up.

Department Meeting Style

My reluctant photographer is Bucket.  He complained the entire time he took pictures.  Mark photography off list of possible careers for him.

If only this was centered.

I am apparently the Queen of Goofy Smiles.

Dress:  Merona by Target, from eBay.  I think $15.  Size 1x.

Purple cardigan, Avenue.  Cannot remember how much I paid for it, but I'm guessing around $25.

Boots that you can't see: Avenue, for $19.99 July 2008.  Yes, they were selling boots in Florida in July.  That's why I got em for $20!

Necklace: gifted, by coworker Carmella.  Authentic pookah shells from Hawaii.

Navy blue tank top for modesty: WalMart, $2.

Autism pin: free from my autism walk back in November.

Purple sash: from a Kiyonna top, but it matches the purple cardigan perfectly!

I'm Doing Something New Today

I'm going to a mandatory department meeting, and no one is watching the kids.
Yeah, you heard me.
Normally, I'd wake Missy and tell her she's in charge.  She loves that kind of thing.  I don't think there is anything Missy likes better than bossing her brothers around, except maybe a good pair of jeans.
But she's not here.
She spent the night at a friend's house last night.  I forgot that I needed her to be here today.
So the boys will be here alone.
Before you go reporting me to the authorities, the boys are 12 and 13.  Certainly old enough to care for themselves.  They will do the same thing they do every day; play video games, eat everything in the pantry, and watch TV.  I really don't need to be here for this to happen.
I will remind them not to answer the door and to leave my work phone alone.  I will hide the matches.  And I already called Mr. R and asked him to call the boys continuously on the cell, just to tick them off.
I guess we're all growing up.

Stupid Question Time

Is it really just a coincidence that I received an e-mail from the coordinator of the Bariatrics Department while I was eating?

Just sayin'.

Confession, Plus A Horrifying Picture.

My sister took this pic of me and the Tiger at the TSO concert.

 

 

I ordered information from my insurance company regarding lap band.  Look at my double chin.  It's bigger than my actual chin!  I weigh, at present, 261.  I actually haven't gained too much weight back since I went off my diabetes diet.  I won't do anything until after April 2011 because I have way too much school to handle.  But once I graduate; yeah; I think I may do it this summer.  I'm going to attempt to hit 230 by my birthday in May.  If I'm unable to hit that mark (only 30 pounds in 5 months) then I am going to do it.  The copay went down to $1500.  I qualify in three different ways:
1) I'm more than 100 lbs overweight.
2) I have hypertension.
3) I have type 2 diabetes.
To get the procedure approved, I need to have two qualifications.  So I shouldn't have a problem having the procedure authorized.

I don't look into this lightly.  Honestly, if I didn't have kids, I don't think I'd do it.  But I think about dying a lot.  I think about dying when I go check the mail and I'm out of breath.  When I sit at my desk and I can feel my heart racing.  And when I think of my husband having to bury me; I get choked up.  Please believe me when I say that I have nothing against being plus sized.  But I don't feel good.  I'm tired.  I have nosebleeds from my blood pressure being so high.  I have sores where my extra skin on my stomach rubs.  I'm so heavy that I can't have bladder correction surgery, and when I attempt to exercise, I have to wear bladder pads so I don't completely soak myself.  I'm angry at myself and want to fix it.   This really is not about my looks, but about my health.  I want to live for a long time and enjoy my later years.  I can't even imagine dying and my kids not having me here.  About my husband having to give up his driving job because he couldn't do his job if I died.  How he'd probably have to sell the house or maybe lose it to foreclosure because he couldn't afford the payments without my pay.  The kids would lose their medical insurance.  I have a small life insurance policy, but I can't raise the premium because my health is so poor.  I assure you, I'm not scared to die.  I am just not ready now, in this phase of my life, to die. 

A Loooong Week!

This week was coming off a 5 day weekend.  Monday was, seriously, the longest day I think I've ever worked.  10 hours with no break, except for when I had to drive up to the school to pick up Bucket because they told me he had lice.  Uhhh, no.  He had dandruff.  They sent my boy home because he had DANDRUFF.  I gave him my Head n Shoulders (I wash with it once a week to keep the flakes away, and it does a mostly fine job.)  Problem solved.  He played video games while I worked on over 200 accounts (!!!) and he even made me a sandwich.
By today, I had gotten that schedule down to a much more tolerable 61 accounts, but had to cover for another coworker who was out and ended up falling behind on my own schedule again.  Plus next week, I have to drive in for a department meeting, and of course we have Friday, Christmas Eve off.  I basically throw my hands up in defeat. 
I am not done with my Christmas shopping.  Mr. R's paychecks have been awful lately.  I'm not sure how I'm going to pull this off.  Not going to take out a loan although it's tempting to do it.  Neither one of us get paid again until Christmas Eve.  There is a possibility that we're going to sell some left over flooring to Tiger's music teacher.  That would make the difference.  So I'm just waiting to see if he wants to buy it.  He said he would call me, but he hasn't done so yet.
Mr. R's birthday is Christmas Eve.  We host a family luncheon every year.  He's going to be 38.  I sometimes have a hard time believing that I've known this man since he was 17 years old. 
Tomorrow on Saturday, I'm going to wrap the gifts that I do have, do some house cleaning and finish up my last class.  I'm grateful to have some time off school.  Starting in January, I'll actually be a full time student, and I have no idea how I'm going to pull it off, except Jesus.  I hope He will be taking my algebra class, and not me.  LOL.
Not much else to report.  Hope you are all well and keeping warm this year!

Trans Siberian Orchestra

Tiger and I went to see them in Orlando, at the new Amway Center.  Nice place.  My butt fit into a cheap seat just fine.  But I'm only 5 foot 4-5 depending on my posture and I felt cramped.  Luckily, no one was sitting in front of us, and I kicked my feet out.  But man, had I needed to sit for a while, I would have been in pain. 

Anyway...pictures!

I promise you, I'm not sad.  Missy said, "Mom, stay perfectly still."  And so I did.

I think this outfit looked better in my head than it did in real life.  I think the skirt is a bit too long. 

The top is pretty, but awkward.  It's an Igigi, and I bought it off eBay for $25.  It's a size 18/20 and is enormous in the shoulders on me.  I wore a strapless bra with it, and felt ok in that.  The lining is nude colored and everyone I ran into thought I was naked underneath.  Not sure if that is the point?

It's the orchestra.  I made him take off his Mountain Dew tee shirt and wear an actual dress shirt.  This happens to be Mr. R's silk shirt.  I think Tiger looks so...manly.  I'm proud to say his mustache is finally thicker than mine.  LOL.

I just love him so much.

Happy times in Orlando!

Outfit details:
Igigi lace top, eBay, $25.
Black skirt, Avenue (2008?) for I think $25.
Tights, George, $4.  They're a size 4x which is way bigger than I normally wear, but they sure as heck kept me warm on a very chilly (28!) Orlando night.
Black flats are Fitzwell, 2007 I think, $60?  They used to have a little tie on them but they fell off and I lost them.  Considering putting something there because they sort of look naked.

New Hair, Christmas Tree, I'm Wearing Makeup!!!I

I am awful at taking my own picture.

The cherry cola streaks did not come out.

But my eyebrows look fabulous!

There is nothing on me that is skinny.  Big hair, thick brows, huge eyes, large nose, full lips.  I was made to be big!

We have initial stockings.  I'm S...Mr. R is the J, and the kids are M, G, and L.

The sun is shining brightly for now.  Should be some crazy rain and a major cold front coming through today.

I figured out how to smile!

Dress: Maggy London, from eBay.  $20
Purple cardigan: Avenue, I think $20.  Probably last year.
Green earrings: from a friend who no longer speaks to me, but I still like the earrings.
Shoes: the nude ones from Target.

Ok, peeps, I'm off to church.  No one is coming with me; having three rebellious angry teenagers all at once is completely sapping my energy and goodwill, so I'm going alone to pray and get calm before I walk back into the craziness.
Oh!  And I'm going to see Trans Siberian Orchestra tonight with my sister, brother-in-law, and Tiger.  Two other kids didn't want to go.  I'm excited about that show.  Never seen them before.

It's Ok to Tell Me to Shut Up!

I'm on vacation this week.  Remember what I wrote a few days ago?  If not, I'll post it here in red for you:

"On Wednesday, I have a lot of kids outgrown clothing and used books to drop off at Goodwill. I intend to spackle some holes in the wall of my living room. I'm also going to give a deep cleaning of both bathrooms of the house, and possibly fix a few holes in the bathroom of the kids. I may even paint their bathroom if I get real ambitious. I also intend to wrap some of the gifts I purchased so I can stop hiding them in my underwear drawer."



Yeah.  Was I dreaming or something?

I got up at 6am.  Still had to get the boys out the door.  I made a real breakfast, read Phillipians with a lovely cup of coffee, and started laundry.
By 8am, I had already done two loads of laundry, one load of dishes, and read the directions on the spackle.  "Do not use if temperature is under 40."
Thermostat:  28.
Uhhhh, I guess this can wait until this afternoon?
Decided to tackle kids bathroom.  I was dreading it.  You see, I don't clean their bathroom.  Ever.  I figure they're old enough to clean it themselves. 
I was WRONG.
This room has to be the filthiest room I've ever been in, in my life.  It makes gas station bathrooms look spotless.  I cleaned the walls in the tub area and literally, there were rivulets of mud coming down.  Their tub needs a second scrubbing, because my arm got so tired that I needed a break.  I scraped old bars of soap off the perimeter of the tub.  I dropped cotton balls of bleach into the corners because even scrubbing didn't move the mold that had collected there.  I found at least 6 filthy razors just laying on the floor, behind the toilet, under the sink.  Only Missy is shaving at this point, so I'm really going to yell at her when she gets home.  I found...count em...SIXTEEN EMPTY BOTTLES OF SHAMPOO/CONDITIONER either behind the toilet, under the sink, or just laying on the floor.  I also found washcloths that were crusty and smelling like mold, a loofah that was growing its own colony of bacteria, and cat vomit in the corner.  I was so grossed out that I actually gagged.  I yanked a metal shelf out of their bathroom that was completely rusted.  It used to hold their folded towels and washcloths because our house doesn't have a linen closet.  I've decided I'm going to store their towels in a crate under the sink, and washcloths in a basket on top of the toilet.

I'm not even done scrubbing this bathroom.  I have an alarm on my phone to remind me to eat lunch (thanks, diabetes type 2!) so I took a break and ran up to Ace to buy a putty knife and get a bean burrito from Taco Bell.  While I was gone, the cat threw up in my office.  I was gone for less than 5 minutes, I swear!!!  I picked up the kitty vomit, and spent fifteen minutes just eating and relaxing.

After my burrito, I traded laundry out again.  It is now 1:15, and I am on my SIXTH load of laundry.  I have at least two more.  I'm on the second load of dishes.  The area behind the kids toilet was so disgusting that I actually took the kids showerhead, turned on the hot water, and just sprayed the floor to loosen whatever grime might be back there.  I haven't even cleaned the toilet, the sink, or mopped the floor.  I want to cry.

Oh, and it is finally warm enough, that I spackled the holes in the wall of the living room.  At least that's done.
There will be no trip to Goodwill today.  I don't feel like wrapping gifts right now, and I'm not even sure I have any tape in the house right now anyway.  I doubt I will even get to clean my bathroom, and I'll be damned if I paint their bathroom today. 

I should have gone on a cruise or something.

Adventures in Raising The Bucket

It was 29 degrees this morning.  Way colder than my native Floridian kids are used to, and I turned the heat on for them.
Bucket, as usual, was up waaaay before Tiger.
He was fussing as he got dressed.  He was cold.
I said, "Do you have a long sleeved tee shirt?"
Bucket said, "Yeah."
I said, "Why don't you layer?"
Dead silence, wide eyes.
I said, "Layer your clothes."
Still no response.
"Are you listening to me?"
"Yeah.  I just don't know what you mean.  What is layer?"  He then began quoting Shrek.  "Ogres are like onions!  Onions have layers!"
Did he think I was calling him an onion or an ogre?
So I showed him to put the long sleeved tee shirt on first, then put his favorite Metallica shirt over it so only the sleeves of the longer shirt showed.  He was delighted.
"Hey, Mom, that's pretty smart.  Where'd you learn that?"
"Uhhh, I grew up in New York, kiddo.  We dress like that from October to April, pretty much."
"Wow!  That's genius!  Thanks, Mom!"

Yep, I'm a layering genius.  Take that, Stacey and Clinton!

Vacation this Week!

Mr. R took my camera with him on the road, which makes me sad.  He needs his own camera.  I had tons of stuff I had planned to photograph in the next two weeks, and now it's not going to happen.  Booooo!

I am working Monday and Tuesday, and then I have off Wednesday-Friday.  I cannot begin to tell you how relieved I am that I am getting a short break.  I have lots planned.  On Wednesday, I have a lot of kids outgrown clothing and used books to drop off at Goodwill.  I intend to spackle some holes in the wall of my living room.  I'm also going to give a deep cleaning of both bathrooms of the house, and possibly fix a few holes in the bathroom of the kids.  I may even paint their bathroom if I get real ambitious.  I also intend to wrap some of the gifts I purchased so I can stop hiding them in my underwear drawer. 

On Thursday, I'm going to paint the wall I spackled on Wednesday and wrap the rest of the gifts if I don't get to them all on Wednesday.  I also intend to do a deep cleaning of the master bedroom.  This will include a complete dusting, including bookshelves and fan, putting away clothes, and even getting under the bed to destroy the mutant dustbunnies who like to gather there. 

Friday is completely different.  Both boys have dentist appointments.  Then I'm treating them to lunch at Cici's Pizza which is Bucket's favorite place to eat.  Then the three of us are going to shop for our angel tree children.  Our church has an angel tree where members of the church put up angels with their children's needs.  Each child chose an angel and then I'm going to take them shopping.  I'd like to think this helps with the "gimme gimme" attitude my kids seem to get around the holidays. 

Relax, Missy isn't going without.  We're simply going to go on Saturday.  We will probably have lunch at La Hacienda, which is our favorite Mexican restaurant ever.  The menu is completely in Spanish and we just love the place!  Then we will shop for her Angel Tree child too.

I have a feeling I'm going to end up buying a cheapie digital camera.  I just can't live for three weeks without my camera.  Know what I mean?