Where'd I Go???

Look at that bruiser, huh. My poor little Bucket. He did a complete faceplant at school while carrying his 80 gazillion pound backpack, right on a metal grate that is covered with those circular bumps that they use for speedbumps. Trust me, it looks even worse now, but he is not letting me take any more pictures. But what a lovely shade of purple it is...

So besides this, nothing has happened this past week. I'm just working and taking care of kids and dealing with a challenging class. Unfortunately, my blog is what fell by the wayside.
Lucky for me, I already finished my paper for this week, and took my quiz. I'm done a day early, which means tomorrow will be all mine. After church, I intend to take the kids to the Springs for swimming and fishing. Now, my northern readers might think I'm a terrible mother for this, but I assure you, it is still 90+ degrees here in the swamp. It is warm enough for a swim, thankyouverymuch.

Can you believe, last week I did forget to take pictures of the football game. Don't worry...we lost 44-0. I could have taken a picture of my nachos, as it was the most exciting thing that happened. And they weren't even that good. Way too salty! I'm still not at that point where I carry my camera everywhere, unlike Mir. I don't want to leave it in my car because I'm afraid it will melt in the heat, and I'm usually in a rush and just forget to grab it while I'm out. Plus, it's not a small camera. I can't just shove it in my pocket. Anyway, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
I'm sort of out of stuff to say already. Unless you want to know the diagnostic code for a respiratory disease. Then I'm your girl. Go ahead...quiz me.


Mmmm, nachos. Cheesy goodness, and not a vegetable in sight. Even the corn used for the chips is scared of the dayglo cheese. Nom nom.

Sarah at the Dog Park

Missy, Kayla and a few of my coworkers washing the dogs. This little cutie pie is Lola, a 6 month old English bulldog. English bulldogs are my absolute favorite breed and I fell so in love with her!


That's our poor Roscoe getting a bath. Don't worry, he's a hound dog and still stinks. You can pour all the coconut shampoo on him you want, he's just going to reek no matter what.



I make a scene when I walk in the hood.


My first time at a dog park. It was cute! It was nice and shady (a must in the swamp) and had red fire hydrants for the dogs to pee on, which I found quite amusing.
Oh, and those jeans are driving me crazy. I only wore them because I didn't have anything else that could get muddy. And I'm not wearing sweats when I'm at a work function. So jeans and a tank top it was.

My Angry Lightbulb Moment

Finally talked to Mr. R. My goodness, did we talk. I mean, I was working on my aetnas the entire time, but yes, we finally had it out and I really let it go. By the time I was done, I was crying, I fogged up my glasses, and I had major snot trails. And when I was done, I was trying to figure out why I was so worked up over this. I mean, it's a PHONE. A stupid phone. Not a major reason to be upset! Even Mr. R was confused about my passion over this. Which had me thinking...it's clearly not the phone that had me so upset.

I am pretty sure I posted in the past about how my biological father left me at quite the young age. (Yes, I'm going there.) Well, what I may not have also mentioned is that when I was 12, we moved from NY to Florida. My sister Kelly and I do not have the same father. Her father is the man who raised me from infancy to elementary, and then skipped in and out of our lives on a regular basis. When we moved to Florida, he suddenly disappeared for about four years. Kelly and I were devastated. During that time, he had another child with our stepmom Pam (who we actually adore.) Now, my mom never talked down, never said a bad word about him, but I pretty much made up my own conclusions about men from those two major events of my childhood:

1) Men really like sex.
2) Men leave once they're done with you.

What a horrifying conclusion a 13 year old girl can make. And when Mr. R and I were arguing on the phone about the cell plan, I blurted out "Just get it over with and leave already!" and he was stunned. He said "Are you thinking about divorce over a cell phone plan?" Which made me wonder...am I arguing with him, or just reacting to what has happened to me in the past? Argue with a man, a man leaves. That's what I saw my mom go through with her two first husbands. (Coincidentally, my mom is now happily married to my stepdad George, and has been since 1986. She didn't give up.)

My cousin Dee insisted that after being abandoned my both my father and my stepfather as a kid meant that I was desperately going to need therapy, and I laughed it off. Now I'm not so sure. Why am I so certain that every argument is going to lead to divorce? This is something interesting to explore.

My Attitude? It's Not That Great

Okay, so I'm trying REALLY REALLY hard to be kind, sweet, gentle, and understanding lately. But honestly, I just want to shove someone down a flight of stairs. I am just in the worst mood lately!

For those asked or care:

1) Did Mr. R and I make up? Yes and no. We're speaking. The phone situation has worked itself out. Basically, my phone is a paperweight, as I can't use it. Except when he calls, and on nights and weekends. So yeah. Paperweight.

2) School? You're not going to believe this, but I'm FAILING. I'm only on the 8th day and I'm FAILING. Between having to take a test when I never received my flippin book and trying to write an APA paper in FOUR DAYS yes I'm failing. I've never failed a class in my life except for Algebra 2 in high school, and seriously, who cares about Algebra 2?

3) Health: ok, I'm actually happy here. Blood pressure down to mostly normal levels. Ok to exercise again. Would be lovely if I actually had the time to do so.

4) Kids: Missy sick. Boys are not sick, but they sure are dirty little creatures. Enough on that.

5) Money: I don't have any.

This Friday, thankfully, both Mr. R and I get paid. Will catch up on silly things like the mortgage (OMG) having actual groceries and my power bill. Will also be silly and spend $20 on going to the high school football game if Missy is feeling better, and then going to an FH sponsored dog wash event on Saturday. I'll be taking pictures of both so I can finally post something on here besides my kvetching.

Monday, Monday

This could be one of the few times when I was glad to hear the alarm clock this morning, and know it was a new day. Yesterday was gone, and I didn't have to do it again. Amen for that. Phew!

Before I go peeing rainbows, I should say that I'm still not in a great mood. Finally talked to Mr. R. I still don't feel like he's understanding me at all. My cell phone is turned back on, but I can't use it. It's a lovely pink paperweight on my desk. I'm back to typing with a cordless phone crammed between my neck and shoulder, so I'm in some pain. Not a ton, but enough to make me grouchy.

But mostly, right now, I am mad at school. I know Amy from Herzing reads my blog, and I'm cool with this. I think she'd understand why I'm frustrated with them. Ordered my book Tuesday, class started Wednesday. I tried to order my book the Friday before, but I was locked out of the system, and no one returned my call until Tuesday. Well, here it is, the Monday after I ordered my book. 6 days. 6 days and no book. And I had my first assignment, due last night, which could not be completed without....MY BOOK. So guess what. I failed it. I got a measly 18% because instead of using the coding book, I had to google everything. It took me 3 hours and I got a stupid 18%. I emailed the professor twice telling her I had no book, and got no response.

I'm not scared of failure. In fact, failure can be a good thing because it teaches you how not to do things. I didn't learn to type 85 wpm right off the bat. I started typing 10wpm and made tons of typos. It took me a while to get good at the typing. But to fail at a test because someone else dropped the ball? That ticks me off in a huge way. And considering my mood lately, this is not pleasant. On top of all the other junk, failing an assignment that I'd normally do very well at, is infuriating.

I don't know how this can be resolved. I'd like a chance to get the book and do the assignment again. I wonder if they will let me.

I Sowwwwwy

Jenni and Kelly, I accidentally deleted your comments instead of posting them. Sorry, just hit the button too quickly.
There is no change yet. He has called to speak to the kids a few times, but not me. And I'm too stubborn to call him since he hung up on me. Just biding my time. Praying. Had fun in children's ministry today. Watched an awesome movie on creationism vs. evolution, very well explained. Today is a day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it. No matter what.

From Bad to Worse

Ugh. I mean, really. If I could just take a vacation from myself and not be Sarah for a few days, that would be fine by me. Mr. R called me this morning on the house phone, wanting to know why he couldn't reach me on the cell. I said, "I'm not using it." He wanted to know why. I explained, that by keeping his sister on our plan without increasing our minutes, that he was putting me in the position of not wanting to use the phone, so we wouldn't incur a huge bill. He reminded me, pointedly, that the phone was free on weekends, no matter what. So I agreed to recharge it, but we kept talking on the house phone.

He's really angry with me. He says I'm selfish for not wanting to share with Sissy. It absolutely rips me up inside every time he tells me I'm selfish. Maybe that's my hot button, I guess. I told him that he was a good brother for wanting to help her, but that we both know she uses her phone excessively. And I was worried about the minutes. He asked me why I didn't ask for more minutes, and I literally felt my blood pressure increasing. Through gritted teeth, I spit out "I *did* ask you for more minutes, while we were in the Sprint store, and YOU told me NO." He got even more angry and said, "Why do you hate my sister so much?" I said, "I clearly don't hate your sister, as I let her live with us even though I was terrified of Jay, but we both know she's not all that responsible with her stuff or her money!" (FYI...when she was 17, she forged Mr. R's name on a lease for an apartment and it took us years to get that off our credit. Yes, I know it was 18 years ago. I forgive, but I haven't forgotten how reckless she was with credit.) So then he said, "You think I'm choosing Sissy over you, don't you?" So I admitted, "Honey, when I told you that I thought the plan didn't have enough minutes, I was instantly shot down. As soon as you sister wanted back on the plan, you were willing to work with her. The plan didn't have enough minutes with 3 people, and now it has 4. All I'm saying is, if you want to keep her on, add more minutes so we don't go over and get a huge bill!" Which is when he hung up on me, and we haven't spoken in twelve hours, which is just unheard of for us. On weekends, we call each other at least 5 or 6 times a day.

It is such a stupid, stupid thing to be fighting over. But this argument is obviously more than just the phone. I do feel like he chose his sister over me. I know he loves her and feels protective of her, and I admire that in him. He loves her. He's a good brother. It actually makes me smile. I hope someday, Tiger and Bucket will look after Missy in the same way, even though she's older than both of them. But I admit, right now, I feel like his sister's request weighed more than mine. It did hurt. My request wasn't even to hurt him, but just to make sure we didn't go over and get one of those ridiculous overage bills.

So the cell phone is on now, but it doesn't even matter because my husband is not speaking to me. And on Monday morning at 7am, I will turn it off so I don't get any overages. Next time I get paid (which is Friday) I will go to Best Buy or WalMart or wherever, and try to find a new house phone that has a headset jack so that my neck and shoulders aren't killing me from working on the phone so much. And even though I am one of the worst people for wiring, I will disconnect all the old crap, and try to connect whatever new phone system I get. It shouldn't be too hard. I hope. :D

Tonight, I just feel weary. I don't like fighting with Mr. R. I don't like being accused of being selfish. I feel the opposite of selfish. I feel like I give, and give, and give, and there is so very little left. Tonight, I feel like a shell of a person. I feel so defeated that all I want to do is go and lie in my very empty bed, turn off the tv, and wait for the morning to come. Then I can go to church, and give some more (I'm volunteering in the children's department this month) and then just wait for Monday so I can at least work and take my mind off my life.

Goodnight, friends. I feel better just typing it all out. Tomorrow is a new day. I am looking forward to it. Really. What better way to forget your own stupid problems than to help little ones?

Am I Being Absolutely Ridiculous?

Just last week, we redid our cell phone plan. Our other plan was just costing way too much money, over $300 per month. I was using my cell for work, Mr. R uses his for work, Missy had a cell phone, and then we had a spare, which Mr. R's sister Sissy is using. We gave her two months notice that we were going to be shutting off her phone, as we simply couldn't afford to pay for her phone anymore. She agreed to this, and I thought that was that.
So we were down to three phones. Mine, Mr. R's, and Missy's. The boys are not really phone users, although I purchased a go-phone for Tiger for emergencies. I didn't bother getting one for Bucket, as he is just not interested. By making these changes, we are saving almost $175 a month. That's pretty huge! The only part was, I tried to convince Mr. R to up the minutes to 3000 instead of 1500. I didn't think 1500 was going to be enough, especially since I'm on the phone quite a bit. He disagreed. So it stayed at 1500.
So I admit that I was a bit peeved when Mr. R called to say that Sissy was begging to keep the cell. I said, "Honey, we already don't have enough minutes to share for the three of us. Now you want to add her? She's on the phone a lot!" The solution? It ended up being me not using my phone. So I have this really nice new phone, which I had already organized for work purposes. Over 100 work contacts. Filled schedule. I was completely enamored of the phone and was using it several hours a day. And now I can't use it. I was using my bluetooth, my back and neck were feeling better because I wasn't typing with the house phone hunched on my shoulder, and it was great. I got to use it for four days. To say I am ticked off is not quite accurate. Furious sounds better. You know, I don't expect to be in his Top 5 or even his Top 10, but to get blown off for his sister hurt a lot. So, it was too much money to give me the minutes I needed for work, but for her, we can afford it. Talk about getting put in your place.
So I took the battery out of the phone, stuck it in a plastic baggie, and put it in my nightstand. After I deleted every contact I had set up and cleared out the calendar that took me hours to set up. I'm back to my cruddy paper planner and four advil a day because I'm using the house phone.
Long story short is, call me at the house if you need me. Cell phone has been disabled so that Sissy can fight with her ex on our dime.

My Country Tis of Thee

I'm a New Yorker. And I'll never forget til the day I die, standing in front of the TV near the emergency room at Florida Hospital in Orlando, watching my country be attacked. Never forget. No matter what conspiracy theory one may think happened, innocent people still died. Never forget.

Back to School for Mommy

Hi there! As of tomorrow, which is the historic 09/09/09, I will be a part time student at Herzing University again. I am super excited to be back. I'm also super excited because most of my prerequisites are out of the way and I can take the classes that I actually find interesting; medical coding!

Oh dear. Did someone just fall asleep?

I know most people find medical insurance and coding stuff boring. But after being in this field for 8 1/2 years, I feel like I'm just getting started. Despite my occasional kvetching, I actually do enjoy my work and feel very accomplished when I've had a great day. Today I completed 37 accounts, which is a good day. It's also nice when I can help people with a question about their insurance, or give them advice about how to manage their medical bills. For example, when my grandfather lived in Florida, I helped him with his medical bills a lot. Caught some errors and fixed them. I hated his insurance (not medicare) but with my knowledge, I was able to fix a lot of stuff. It ain't pretty, it ain't fancy, but it sure comes in handy. Not only that, but it will be a cold day in hell when anyone confuses me with coverage information or copays and deductibles. I can do them in my head so HAHAHAHAHA!

Anyway, as of tomorrow, I am taking Basic Diagnosis Coding I. Could I be more excited?!? This is the class that is eventually going to get me making more money at the hospital! Hooray!!! I do mostly procedure coding now so this is a bit different for me, but I'm so ready for the challenge. I'm glad I took the summer off to relax, play with my kids, and generate some new brain cells. But I'm ready to jump back in.

Hooray for being a geeky nerd who is excited about learning something new!

Stupid Ants

I got up this morning, and poured myself a lovely cup of coffee. Lingered at the table. Ahhhh, I love Mondays when I don't have to work. Sleepy Bucket got up and went to pour himself a bowl of cereal. I was still barely awake when his shriek made me jump out of the chair.

"BUUUUGGGGGGGGSSSSSSSSS! Bugs in my cereal! Bugs in my Reese's PUFFFFFFFFFSSSSSS!" the boy howled. I looked in the box, and sure enough. Ants. Ants everywhere. I looked on the pantry floor. It looked like a buffet line of ants. Crap. There went my lazy day. I threw out the cereal, and opened a new box up. No bugs in the cereal, but there were bugs in the box. Ahhh, I see what is going on here. The ants were eating the glue in the cardboard boxes. I spent more than $70 this morning at Publix buying plastic containers, ant poison, toilet cleaner and detergent (well, I needed those last two anyway.) I swept and mopped the pantry floor, then laid down the poison. Let it sit for about an hour while I finally finished my coffee. I threw out all the cardbox boxes, put all the dry goods in the plastic containers, swept the pantry floor again (dead ants already) and put all the food back. Three hours.
In the middle of the craziness, my mom calls. They want to stop by. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Sure, why not. I told my mom about the ants. She laughed and said, yeah, that happens. I remember we had problems with ants when we lived in NY too, so it's not just a southern thing.
Well, at least my kitchen is clean, right?

I Ain't Skeered

Have you heard the outcry? Have you heard the hysterical parents, bemoaning the speech that Obama plans to give our schoolchildren next week? What do you think about this?

Anyone who knows me, knows I'm a moderately conservative Christian, and I didn't vote for Obama. I didn't vote for him because my politics do not line up with his, it is as simple as that. I'm not a racist. I don't hate the guy. He just doesn't reflect my values, that's all. Sometimes, it really can be that simple, you know?

I am going to allow my children to watch the speech in schools on Tuesday, unlike other conservative parents. Why, you ask? Because like it or not, this is the time in history that I'm living in right now. I see nothing gained by sticking my fingers in my ears and screaming "LALALALA" during this speech. Seriously, that's just childish.



My daughter is fourteen years old. In four years, she will eligible to vote. What better time for her to watch politics in action, study it, learn from it?
Even if Obama's politics are different than your own, this is an excellent learning tool. I strongly encourage all parents, not just liberals or conservatives, to watch this speech. And then TALK ABOUT IT. Don't be scared. Listen to what the man...our president...has to say. Many people will not agree with him. Many will. But how will you know if you don't listen?