Goodbye, January. I Hardly Knew Ya

I can't believe today is the 31st already. My my, how time flies. Hello, February, you gorgeous thing you. It is a pleasure meeting you.

Anyhoo, now that I've proved myself both ridiculous and crazy, I have other things to discuss.

One: I went shopping at Target this morning. Target is love. Target is lovely. I heart Target. I bought a new dog bed for Roscoe, as his old one had basically disintegrated under his funk. What is it with hound dogs and their stink? The dog smells worse than the teenage boys in my house.



I also went baby shopping for my friend Gloria, who had a sweet baby boy last Sunday. I didn't make it to her shower, so I went shopping today and had a blast. For anyone expecting a baby, I highly recommend Target's baby club, or whatever they call it. It was very easy to shop, and the print-out actually told me which aisle to find certain items. It was fast, quick, and painless. Then, I shopped the sales racks. (oooh, sudden disclosure here.)



If anyone knows me well, they know I am a huge fan of a wrap shirt. Designed for ladies like me who have a gut to hide, these shirts not only cover the spare tire, but cinch it in and make me look thinner. I've basically given up on any other kind of shirt, as I always reach for my two wrap shirts. I've had two wrap shirts from Coldwater Creek for two years, and I adore them. They're in black (of course) and red (duh, again) but I was wanting to branch out. I discovered another one in a rust color on e-bay and snatched that bad boy up. Rust is not my favorite color, but the cut of the shirt makes it worthwhile.



Anyway, I suddenly found them...wrap shirts in regular sizes. Crap! I am plus sized. I looked anyway. Shockingly, the sizes went up to xxl, which is an 18 at Target. I scoured the racks and found TWO in xxl...and in colors I didn't have! So I am now the proud owner of two more wrap shirts, one in a deep yet bright purple, and one more in a teal blue color. I am ecstatic. And they were on sale, $10.48 each. Score!!! I tried them on and they're actually a bit big on me, but I figure they might shrink in the wash a bit. Now I just need some new pants or skirts, and I'm set. I looked for some new sandals but they didn't have anything I liked, so I skipped it. I won't buy uncomfortable shoes, I don't care how pretty they are. I am the flip flop queen and I'm totally ok with it.

Two...totally disgusted with the online system at Herzing right now. I worked my tail off on my Chapter 10 test for blood. I was super proud of it, thinking I may have gotten my first 100 on a test by my A&P professor. This class is HARD. But in a challenging way, not a "hahaha, you're gonna fail!" way. I submitted my results and the system at Herzing froze, and lost the entire test. I have to start over. Tonight. Crap!

Life Keeps Marching On

My fax is coming in right now, and a Ben 10 cartoon is blasting on the TV behind me. Missy is still sleeping when she should be up, and poor Tiger is battling a sore throat. My coffee is yummy, and I wore a dress today because I feel festive (plus I'm out of detergent, 'mmmm kay?) and excited. Excited why?
Mr. R spoke with the reversal doctor last night for 30 on the phone.
I know, I know. Just getting Mr. R to the point of even talking about it seriously was huge. He is not scared of the surgery itself, but the economy scares him. He's concerned about fuel, about food, about how small our house already feels. All valid concerns, true.
Then I reminded him that when Bucket was born, we were living in a two bedroom duplex, making less than $23,000 for a family of five, and we didn't get any public assistance. I had all three kids crammed into one bedroom, and that bedroom was facing a railroad track. The rent was $500 and it about killed us to come up with that money every month. I only ate two meals a day so we could afford diapers. With three kids, we managed on about $50 a week in groceries, not counting diapers. No formula either, as I breastfed the boys exclusively. I used to babysit other people's kids for ten bucks a day just to have a bit of extra cash to buy fun stuff like crayons, coloring books, and mountains of sippy cups. To think of how poor we were, and how well off we are now, is like night and day. I hadn't forgotten, but pushed it to the back of my mind as an unpleasant memory. I would not be happy if that happened to us again, admittedly. Yet, it was quite the experience. We didn't even have a car. If I went food shopping, I had to walk to the store with my double stroller, and only buy enough groceries to fit in one of the seats of the stroller. Then, Tiger would sit in the stroller on the way home, Missy would walk next to me, and Bucket would be in my baby carrier. To this day, I have no idea how I managed it. Necessity, I suppose.

Back to the original story. Mr. R spoke with the reversal doctor. Mr. R immediately liked him. The doctor didn't guarantee it would work since it has been almost 11 years since the vasectomy. He said he would do his best. I like that in a doctor. Since I work in a hospital, I talk with a lot of arrogant people, but this man didn't seem like that at all. Today, my job is to call the office and schedule the procedure. We are aiming between end of June to early August. This is because my sweet sister Kelly is going to be watching the kids for us. Here's the kicker...she doesn't know we're going for a reversal. We are not telling my family. She thinks she's watching the kids for our anniversary so we can have a romantic outing. It's partially true...it will be nice to get away for a few days, just me and Mr. R. However, poor Mr. R is going to have an ice pack on his healing jewels while I sit in a hotel room in Oklahoma doing homework on a laptop! Hahahahaha!

My family is not going to be supportive at all. I don't understand the "anti-children" mentality of my family, especially considering my grandparents had seven children. My mom is the third of seven kids. You would think there would be a ton of grandchildren, but there is really not. My Aunt Fran had one child, a boy named Kevin who is 39 now. He never married, never had children. My Aunt Nancy had two girls. Renee passed away in 1995 due to breast cancer, and my cousin April is not married, has no children, and has no intention of doing so. Then my mom had me and my sister Kelly. I'm married with three kids, but my sister has no children and doesn't intend to have any. My Uncle Danny had one son, Brandon. Brandon is married with one child, and another on the way. My Uncle Lance married a much older woman (she's very sweet) but they only managed to have one son, who is not much older than my Missy. Then my Uncle Keith had two sons, who are the same age as my kids. My Aunt Jina is married and has no children, and since she just had a hysterectomy, there obviously won't be any kids. So our family tree is dwindling, down down down. It sort of makes me sad, the small family. I like big families. :)

Due to Bucket's "disability" my own parents have made comments such as "Aren't you glad he's your last one" and "He would probably hurt a baby" or something like that. He's not a monster, he's a little boy. He's done very well when I've babysat Baby A. Trust me, I've been paying attention to how he reacts to her crying. He doesn't like it (heck, who does!) but he doesn't freak out. He just goes into his room. He's controlling his emotions just fine. I'm quite proud of him.

This is not to say there won't be roadblocks. If and when I have another baby, I should have three children well into teenager-hood. It's going to be interesting, that is for certain! I'm sure Missy will be enamored, and the boys won't care until all the girls in the neighborhood show up to play with the baby. Then all of a sudden my boys will want to be the doting older brother to impress all the teenage girls!

Not Corporate

As I'm sure ya'll noted, I was not feeling well on Monday. I didn't go into specifics because it was kinda gross (let's just say it involved the digestive system and my bathroom, ok?) but I was not a happy camper. Calling in sick was not an option because another co-worker was out, and I didn't want to dump (pun absolutely intended) on my other co-workers. I'm fly like that. I worked to the absolute best of my ability, but between the pain and the three-to-four-times-per-hour-trips-to-the-bathroom issues, I didn't get as much done as normal. Still, I was pleased that I was doing my best to be a team player and not be a burden to my team at the hospital.

Shocked I was when Nicola called me this morning to say hello. She normally doesn't call me at 7:45 so I was concerned that Baby A might be ill. Oh no...she was calling to tell me that an upper management person was complaining about how I handled one account on Monday, that I dropped the ball and needed to be officially reprimanded for my faux pas. I reminded Nicola that not only was I working when horribly ill, but that I was doing my work plus covering for the co-worker who was out on vacation. Nicola assured me that she told upper management these facts, but that "my excuses were not acceptable to them." Excuses? EXCUSES?!?! I was doing the very best that I could under awful circumstances! If I had a job where I had to sit in an office, I would have had to call in sick, as there was no way I could have shown up looking, acting and (ugh) smelling the way I did. Nicola said she felt awful having to call me with this information, but that due to me missing one phone call, she would have to place a reprimand in my file. I told her I would not sign it, and in fact had every intention of contesting the reprimand and bringing it to the attention of our director. She said she understood, but she was under orders and had no choice but to formally issue the complaint against me.

Next time I'm just going to call in sick. And that, my friends, is why I'm not corporate. I care about people, not accounts.

Not Feeling Well Physically, Yet in a Good Mood Anyhow

Wanna know why? That's because:

1) Mr. R came home
2) We managed to come into enough money to pay for our reversal
3) We are making arrangements to have it done this summer
4) My friend Gloria had a baby last night
5) Even though I don't feel well, I can smile at the days to come.

I know some people may say, "Sarah, what is up with you. You're in college, yet you're actively trying to pursue a larger family. One does not go with the other."
Well, partially true. I am blessed in numerous ways in that I work from home, and my employer is paying for my education. I also have flexible scheduling so I can work around a baby's schedule. I have babysat my boss's beautiful daughter, Baby A, and have already started getting used to that situation. I handled it pretty well, and Baby A is not even my baby, so I was pretty jazzed about it. I've been at my job for nearly 8 years, and my department is one of the few departments who are still hiring, so I'm feeling quite secure.

Mr. R is doing pretty well in his job too. We could have scheduled the reversal for sooner, but Mr. R's company stated that they needed him almost completely through March to June, so we think we'll be making our reversal trip in July. We both realize that this is not a guarantee, and since we chose a place that doesn't charge more than $5000, if it doesn't work out, at least I won't be crying over the money. We will have a nice vacation together, possibly with our kids, not sure about that part yet.

Conversations with the Bucket

I had to pick Bucket up from school because the chain on his bike broke, and I am the least mechanically inclined person EVER. But it was nice to get out of the house, blast music on the stereo, and be outside in the fresh cool air.

Our conversation went like this:

Me: "Hi baby, how was school."
Bucket: "I had the worst day ever!"
Me: "Oh no! What happened?"
Bucket: "I don't want to talk about it."

(Umm, hello, you're the one who just told me you had the worst day ever. I know you want to talk about it! ~goof~)

Me: "What did you get on your point sheet?"
Bucket: "Only a 16, Mom."
Me: "What?!!?! You usually get a 20!" (20 is the highest)
Bucket: "I know, but Mr. L changed stuff around and it made me so mad!"

(Another FYI...this is basically the bane of an autistic child's existence. Changing stuff that is working perfectly fine. I'm sure there's a reason for it, but I am doing my mommy detective thing. Watch how fly I am.)

Me: "So what did he change?"
Bucket: "I'm not the line leader anymore! Now I'm the caboose!" (sniffles)
Me: "So who is the line leader now?"
Bucket: "Michael. I hate him! He's the worst line leader ever!"
Me: "Bucket, you've been the line leader for a while. It is ok for Michael to have a turn as the leader. Everybody wants to have that job, because it's so cool."
Bucket: "Whatever. Mr. L better not come crying to me when that whole line falls apart."

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'm Feeling Better, Thank You

Thanks to everyone who dropped by to make sure I was okay. Depression is just something I go through every now and then, for seemingly no reason at all. I couldn't even pinpoint what was bothering me, I was just very very sad. I'm feeling better now, although not 100%. Mr. R is still not home, and three weeks is such a very long time to be without someone you love.

Today is just a regular work day. I have to catch up on some schoolwork since I have not bothered to read the chapter, or do any discussion posts as required. I just didn't care for a few days. That is one great thing about online college. You can miss a few days, and catch up and not miss a beat. Online college is really a great choice for a working parent. I know I keep singing the praises of Herzing, but I mean it. And not because Amy from Herzing reads my blog, lol. (hi Amy...brownie points?!)

This weekend, I plan to tackle the boys' bedroom. My two little boys are not so little anymore. When we bought our house, they were 3 and 2 years old. Now, they are 11 and 10, and that 11 by 11 room is way too small for them. We hope to build a fourth bedroom onto this house in the next two years if we are not able to move. But for now, ORGANIZATIONAL MAMA needs to step up. I have to get rid of the baby hangers and finally buy adult hangers for Bucket. I have boxes of clothes that I need to go through and see if they fit Bucket. I need to pull out the sewing machine this weekend and fix all the rips, holes, and kamikaze button issues. Then, I need to donate any outgrown clothing to Goodwill. I also need to buy some of those organizational canvas boxes to keep school supplies in the dining room where the kids do their homework. Then I can take the trunk in the bedroom and let the boys use it for their toys. Tiger doesn't have much in the way of toys anymore, but Bucket still loves action figures and his light sabers, and I'd appreciate not stepping on them every morning, thankyouverymuch.

Here are some other random musings:

~ why are toilet seats cold in the winter, but not cold in the summer when I wish they were cold?
~ if you hold yourself over the potty so your tush doesn't hit the cold seat, is that considered a squat?
~ if you have more than one blueooth, does that mean you have blueteeth or bluetooths?
~ I wore my brown cords so much that you can see my underwear through the corduroy fabric. Is that so wrong?
~ My sister bought me aloe socks. I heart them very much.
~ I need to trim my hair. The ends of my hair looked like a hyena chewed on them.

I think that's it.

No Day Off on Friday

Someone else in my department already has the day off. Sheesh. She would have given it to me, but we can't have two people off on the same day.
I finally slept well. You know, I don't have a baby, but I do have an apparently incontinent dog. He paces several times a night needing to be let out. Last night, he either peed in the house and I haven't found it yet, or he didn't need to get up. Getting a solid seven hours was helpful to my psyche. I also don't sleep well when Mr. R is not home. Every little noise is amplified to me. I sleep like a log when he's home, just wrapped up in blankets and his strong arms. Not sure when he'll be home. He's in DC today...what a day to be stuck there! He wants to get out before the inauguration. He has to be in Jersey I think on Wednesday, and after that, hopefully home for the weekend. I hope.

Needing a Break

Nothing you guys did. Just going through another bout of depression. Not sure why, as life is pretty good. The weather is gorgeous, I have food in the house, my bills are paid, and both hubby and I are working. I'm just immensely sad and feeling lonely even in my full house. I have skipped church for the past few weeks simply because I can't bear to have to smile and be friendly. The forced handshakes, hugs and welcomes...well, they're not welcome right now. I've been going to the Sunday school class, however. I'm not sure why, as I find it a stupid waste of time. Even other people's prayer requests are irking me right now. I'm going in there with a really dark spirit about myself. I am having trouble even looking people in the eye.
Part of it may have something to do with Mr. R having been gone almost three weeks at this point. I am considering asking my boss Nicola if I can have Friday off. I don't know if Mr. R will be home, but I think I need a day at the beach to sit on the sand to pray and think.
I just feel like something *BIG* is missing from my life right now.



So anyway, I'm just going to take some time off from writing on here. I don't want this to become a depression blog, because that's not even like me. I go through these phases, and hopefully I'll be done soon. I'll stick be checking my e-mail so if you send me a note on here, I will get it. I'm still working at least Monday through Thursday this week. Pray that I get the Friday off so I can perk back up, ok?

I Got Let Go Before I Even Got Hired!

The hospital closer to me couldn't hire me. Because I'm already an employee, they'd have to pay me time and a half, and they weren't willing to do that. So no extra job.
Thankfully, Mr. R got a load today. Praise GOD as that will be our mortgage payment, and we are safe for another month. Amen.

Scared, Nervous, Excited

Mr. R and I are racking our brains trying to figure out what to do.
He has been out on the road for two weeks, and has only made $150 for our family. That is just awful, awful, awful. We can't live on that.
I decided to see if there were any positions open at the hospital near me. I actually work for the hospital that is in Orlando, about 45 miles away.
The one that is closer to me has positions open in the evening and weekends. And the supervisor is my very first boss from when I started at Orlando.
She said she'd have me back in a heartbeat. I am suddenly reeling with information overload...second job? At another hospital? Mr. R not driving a truck anymore?
Mr. R says he'll come home for good, and he'll get a part time job to supplement also.
Is this crazy? How am I going to be able to finish school? I guess I'll study on my lunch breaks. How much sleep does a person really need anyway?

Sweet Score at the Goodwill

I'm not ashamed to say I shop at Goodwill. I tend to pick up jeans for my boys there because they are so rough on them, and Missy has been known to find a purse or a book there. I normally don't look too much, because I am a plus size lady, and the usual plus size pickings involve leggings and oversize tee shirts (shudder.) I dropped off a bag of donation items (Mr. R uses them as tax write-offs for his business) and since it was only Missy and I, I decided to go in to look around.
I didn't have anything in mind, but I do love to browse. It's hard to do that with the boys in tow. I was actually looking for some lamps for our very dark living room, but the pickings were slim. I wandered over to the plus size rack...and GASPED.
My favorite Lane Bryant pants of all time...in my size. In PERFECT condition. For $3.69!!! I already have two pairs, one in black, one in brown. I literally wear them every time I have a department meeting at work, or to church. They skim perfectly over the tush, have the perfect width on the leg (not bootcut, but not flare either) and they were...GASP...gray pin-stripe! Vertical lines to make a chubby chick seem taller! I snatched them off the rack immediately. I didn't even bother to try them on. Those babies were MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE.



So I decided, finally, a big girl with taste donated clothes. I wonder if there is anything else in here. So I started to peruse. Lots of stained tee shirts. Lots of ripped, holy leggings. Lots of tapered khakis. Finally, I found two Venezia tops, one in deep purple, one in brown. I squealed. SCORE AGAIN! Then, right behind it, was a black modal 3/4 sleeve top with a lace inset. I'm a bit pickier about my shirts since I happen to sport some big ol boobies, so I hopped into the private room to try on my goodies.
They all fit. Every single shirt. The two Venezia tops are a bit big in the shoulder, but the seams can be taken in easily. The black lacy top fit perfectly. And of course, my LB pants are on my tush as we speak. They are a bit long, but they would probably work ok in heels. Since I don't wear heels very often, I will probably hem them about an inch.



I happen to know that the LB pants are $54.50 retail. I got them for $3.69! Each of the shirts were $3.69 as well. Then the cashier asked me if I was a college student. When I replied that I was, she asked to see my college ID, which I actually had on me...and I got 10% off!
So, for $14.15, I got one pair of pants and three new tops. And that, my friends, is a good day at the Goodwill. Carry on.

Random Musings of Moi

Wednesday night tends to be pretty busy here at the R household. Missy and Tiger go to the middle school service. Bucket is not old enough yet, and the elementary service is quite babyish...they still do coloring and dancing, and he is totally over that. So at this time, I don't force him to go, because I want him to enjoy church, not despise it.

Anyway, Missy has been quite the evangelist, having brought four of her friends to the middle school service. Two of them go with her regularly, Kayla and Stephanie. Kayla lives two doors down from us, and Stephanie lives about 9 miles away. Stephanie rides the bus from school to our house just so she can attend. Missy, Kayla, Stephanie and Tiger all walk the four blocks to church together. Because it ends after dark, I pick them up. Stephanie's dad normally picks her up, but apparently last night, he called Stephanie to see if I could drive her home. I assumed it was because of work (the man works at WalMart, they do have some crazy hours.) Can you imagine my annoyance when I pulled into Stephanie's driveway just to find that not only was his car in the driveway, but so was his wife's. I said to Stephanie, "I thought your dad couldn't pick you up?" She said back, "His favorite show is on."
Oh, I was mad.
This is part of my non-resolutions, if ya'll remember. Don't let people take advantage of me. I thought I was doing a nice thing for a young lady - and I was - because I thought her dad was busy working. Instead, he is drinking beer and watching tv with his hand down his pants. He didn't even ask ME to drive Stephanie home, he just told Stephanie that "Missy's mom will have to drive you home." Not even ASKING, he was TELLING me what to do!
Well, the man got me once. There will not be a next time. If Stephanie needs a ride home, that is fine, as she is a nice little girl who enjoys church. But you are for sure that I'll be speaking with her mom or dad about calling ME if they need a favor and ASKING me. I'm not your hired driver. I am a busy lady who would like some down time, too.

Frankly, I never once even sat down last night to watch TV. Literally, not even the news. This was my day yesterday:

6:00 alarm goes off. Beat alarm with pillow. But get up anyway. Use bathroom immediately since three children have destroyed the elasticity of my bladder.
6:10-6:25 start coffee pot. Start turning on lights to wake up children. Start singing my stupid good morning songs which drive the children crazy. Stare down the coffee pot and wonder why it's not going any faster.
6:25-6:45 Make lunch for Bucket, make sure he's actually wearing socks and underwear to school (yes, I have to physically check him, or he'll try to sneak out without his undergarments. sigh.) Check Bucket's folder to see if his teacher left any notes for me. Sign his point sheet, put lunchbox in backpack and then hang backpack on door so he won't forget it again.
6:45-7:15 Threaten Missy and Tiger with a cold washcloth in their undies if they don't GET OUT OF BED THIS VERY INSTANCE BECAUSE I'M NOT DRIVING YOU TO SCHOOL AGAIN IF YOU MISS THE BUS.
7:15-9:00 work my actual paying job
9:00-11:00 dominatrix dentist lady
11:00-4:30 work the paying job again, with no lunch break because I had to visit the dominatrix dentist lady (see previous entry)
4:30-6:00 create grocery list, watch 6 children, half of whom are obviously not even mine, feed pets, fold laundry
6:00-7:00 grocery shopping with Bucket. Oh, the agony of shopping with a hungry 10 yr old boy.
7:00-8:00 feed Bucket, frantically try to put groceries away, continue to exchange the laundry
8:00-8:30 drive Stephanie home, drop off Kayla. Get mad at Stephanie's dad for being a butthead
8:30-9:30 feed Missy and Tiger who are absolutely starving since we normally eat at 6 but I forgot (but I did remember the pets...priorities, priorities). Continue putting groceries away, separating meats into small portions, empty dishwasher, start another dishwasher load. Give Bucket his medication two hours too late. Tuck everyone into bed.
9:30-11:00 remember in horror that today was my first day of my class at Herzing and that all my first posts were due. Turn the computer back on, do all the correct postings, read the first few pages of the horrific chapter on eyeballs (ohhh do I hate eyeball science).
11:00 pm COLLAPSE.

MySpace Graphics & Free Myspace Layouts

Hey, I just realized I ate neither lunch or dinner yesterday in the middle of all that chaos. Why the heck am I fat?!?!

Beautiful? ME?!?!

Did ya'll see that picture I posted below? I also posted it on my facebook, and I got not one, not two, not three, not four, but FIVE compliments on how "beautiful" and "pretty" I am. Granted, one of those people is my mom, but she is the first person to tell me when I'm fat, ugly, or dirty, so I totally count her compliment. In fact, it's almost worth two compliments to me just for that reason.

For one, I was going to toss that sweater, but I'm totally keeping it now. And second, if you see someone today, tell them THEY LOOK NICE. I frankly can't remember the last time anyone has said that to me, besides my husband. (and we all know why men tell us we're pretty, right? hahahaha) I have a total confidence boost right now!

Oh, and if any of ya'll want to link to my facebook, you can find me under Sarah Miller (which is my maiden name) and then my last name which starts with the letter R. Sorry I won't be more specific than that, but just look for the picture!

Do You Have Any New Year's Resolutions?

This is the time of year when people make those demands upon themselves. "Go the gym everyday!" "Weigh less than I did in third grade!" "Keep my house Martha Stewart ready!" Usually, within days if not weeks, the resolutions are broken, and old habits remain. However, I do have a few new ones of my own that I am going to post here. You peeps can try to keep me honest, k?

1) Once my ankle is healed up a bit more, I'm going to continue my daily walks.

2) Start the Couch to 5K program by February (once my ankle is feeling stronger from the daily walks.)

3) Tell my kids I love them at least once a day, and touch them in an affirming way (hug, hold hands, high five, whatever) at least once a day. Missy held my hand at church yesterday, and it felt totally odd...then I realized I hadn't held her hand probably since she was about 8 years old and needed help crossing the street. How weird is that?

4) Keep better track of my monthly cycle. There is nothing worse than a public blow-out. *cough cough*

5) Drink 6-8 glasses of water a day. It really is good for you and your skin. My skin looks awful. I'm obviously tired and dehydrated most of the time.

6) Give myself 15-20 minutes in the Word every day. If I have time to watch TV, make blog posts, and get my degree, I have enough time for Him.

Here are six resolutions I will not keep:

1) I will not try to become a skinny supermodel. Not only am I short, but I'm thick. God created me this way, and while I know I'm overweight, I can't change my overall shape, which is hourglass curvy yet short bombshell. :) Not gonna fight it, just gonna work it.

2) I will not harbor unrealistic expectations of my children. They are not me, they are not Mr. R. They are Missy, Tiger and Bucket.

3) I will not speak badly of my job. I am blessed to have it.

4) I will forgive those who hurt me, and love those who hate me. Well, I'm gonna try, anyway.

5) I will not let people treat me like a doormat. It's hard for me to speak up for myself, but I'm not going to let people take advantage of my good nature. That means no more free daycare for the neighborhood kids, no more loaning my car out to people who return it with an empty tank. Stuff of that variety.

6) I will not apologize for being Sarah. Sarah is good peeps. I'm not perfect by any means, but I'm not a schlep, either.

Ok, your turn! Any resolutions, or non-resolutions to share?

What To Do

Happy New Year, peeps. Mr. R is finally on his way, he is driving a load of citrus on its way to Philly. He was home for almost two weeks, and while it's a blessing to have him, it hurts because he wasn't working. He told me he can't home for at least two to three weeks in order to catch up financially. I'm sad, but I understand. It was wonderful having him here. I didn't have to cook for two blessed weeks, ya'll!

I have two bits of news. While we are blessed that Mr. R's company is giving us smaller weekly payments on the new truck, it is going to keep him away for the next two years or so. Yes, we miss him, but we are also grateful because this basically guarantees that Mr. R's job is safe for the next two years. The company will not want to let him go before he settles his debt with them. So I guess in this weird way, debt can be a good thing? Can you tell I'm reaching?

Second, I logged onto the physician website today that we had chosen for our vasectomy reversal. I was shocked to realize that he raised his rates by 20%! Now I'm not really sure if I can pull the money together that we require for the reversal. Maybe I should just forget about the whole thing. After all, I have a husband who is not home, three kids in an already crammed house, and I couldn't even quit my job once I had a baby, as I carry the health insurance on our entire family.
~Sigh~ I just feel sort of sad. I had really wanted to have another baby, but between my finances and my age, I am wondering if I'm just dreaming.



Then again, cashing in the remainder of my 401k before I lose the entire thing, and spending it on a future baby (or babies?) may be the smartest thing I ever do. I've seen the retirement fund I've worked on for seven years disappear over the past two years. Why not use it now for what I really want? After all, I'm only 33, right? That gives me 32 more years before I theoretically retire at age 65 to get it back on track.

Advice?